I can't sleep.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by LucreziaBorgia, Apr 9, 2011.

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  1. Hello ladies and gentlemen.

    Does anyone know a good, non-medicinal insomnia cure? Haven't been able to drop off for a few weeks now. I've tried all the old wives routines - hot drink before bed, warm bath, reading a bit, and many other things that did not work. I absolutely refuse to delve into the territory of lavander pillows or - horror of unholy horrors - meditation or self hypnosis. I have tried to alleviate the problem by judicious application of alcohol, but sadly this has failed parlously also.

    My only other option is to kick my husband awake and ask that he, er, tire me out somewhat, but although I'm sure he would suffer it gracefully he's on stag at 6 am so I think it would be a little unfair.

    Does anyone know any other ways of knocking oneself out? All suggestions; serious, not so serious, funny and downright shocking gratefully received.

    (In case anyone was wondering, I'm posting this in the NAAFI because I believe I've tried all of the boring serious ideas and I'm really just looking for some entertainment. ;-) )

    Grazie mille,

  2. have a wank works for most blokes
  3. HHH

    HHH LE

    • Like Like x 1
  4. God you're dull.

    How times have changed! They let you nip off home to go to bed between stags now? Or are you the camp bike, and you're in the guardroom servicing the lads between Xbox turns, and brew runs for the Guard 2ic?

    I had a bit of trouble sleeping until I read your drivel. Cured my insomnia no end. Thank you. I'm off to bed now.
  5. Try humming to yourself. My friend Christine swears by it.

    Alternatively, get up, get yourself in the kitchen, and start baking.
    • Like Like x 3
  6. An excellent idea in principle. The buzzing would almost certainly wake my husband though.
  7. why you got a fucking bionic arm now, whats wrong with fingers
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  8. Always delighted to be of assistance. Not to the entire camp though. Not even on special occasions. I know, horribly dull.

    I actually don't think he is stagging tomorrow, forgive me I'm fairly fitshaced.

    Good night and pleasant dreams.
  9. Quite literally; different strokes for different folks mi tesoro. ;-)
  10. HHH

    HHH LE

    See this is where your going wrong,you're meant to drink it,not rub it on!
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  11. I find a strong wind works quite wel for me
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  12. Bugger. :roll:
  13. HHH

    HHH LE

    Is that Spanish for shitfaced??

    Edited to add-Christ I am Boring,a couple of replies from me and she's away to bed to sleep.
    • Like Like x 1
  14. its been a while thats what I'm saying
  15. Would that I were caro. :-/

    It's fitshaced for shitfaced.