i as no eyes an the doktor say i cant join

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by The-Lord-Flasheart, May 27, 2008.

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  1. i ant got any eys an i is blind plus i has an arm sewn onto mi 4head the doktor sez i carnt b in the armee but dus ne 1 no if i can stil join the armee?

    btw i as a degree in english and maffs plus i as tons of kwalifucashions so dont take the pish owt of my speliong.
  2. Fugly

    Fugly LE DirtyBAT

    Talk to your ACIO mate, we're no use on here
  3. no ikant do that i need yu, the interweb peeple to tellme sumting i want to heer not want sum bloke in an ofice telz me

    kan i stil join wiz no eyes? im gud at heering tho so i can make up 4 bein blind
  4. You won't get very far if you can't speak English (A 2.2 from a red brick universty doesn't count). Unless of course you are trying to join the RLC.

    P.S. i wish i cud drive helicopters - they is well fast!!!!
  5. oi stop takin the pish owt of mi emglish y r u dissin me cos of my ritin? its not importunt iz it. its not fair that you juj me on bein a lazee fick cnut cos i showmiself to be as littarate as a bag of crisps
  6. Ah you have been to London College of Economics, your Sandhurst start date will be sent to you in due course. Congratulations
  7. I is well dissin you - bring it.
  8. Are you transgender (Pre or post op) diabetic or claustrophobic (Any phobia will do, but this is best. Unless you're wanting to join the Parachute Regiment and then vertigo is a must.)?
    If not consider your sexuality, increase your sugar intake and build up your intolerance to everyday situations and scenarios by strapping a car battery to your back and giving yourself a jolt everytime you are in your 'comfort zone', this aversion therapy will soon have you a gibbering wreck in any sitation. These measures will significantly increase your chances of selection, if not Selection wink, wink.
  9. Apply. You sound as though you'd do well at night navigation and would save us a fortune in batteries for NVGs.
  10. u iz not good enuf 4 the brit army, we call it greenis u know, i waz on the balcony init , i iz 1 of them specal blokes, go join the cub scouts
  11. hay m8, speke inglizh, wat is a AICO, r u triing 2 b cleeva
  12. The-Lord-Flasheart, i have read your story and feel I can help.

    This is a case of blatant discrimination.

    I have a no win - no fee service that will enable you to join the British Army, or feel the gentle cure of compensation washing over your ambitions.

    ok - I’m lying, but some day in the future, some one will post similar information and it won't be a wind up.

  13. Apply Flash, I had no eyes wen i 1st tryd but i got 2 false 1's from a gobstopper mchn on our high st nd thn whn i wnt in to the rmy ofis thy told me that it ws OK as i cud c McD's from 20 mtrs wiv my nose.

    I am nw a ofiser in the Rmy Hair Core nd cud do ny ov u twats ny day
  14. Hey bruv is heavy u got to spect - can take no diss.
  15. Christ that made my eyes hurt - however:

    I done selection rite and was doing well good but then i got kicked out coz i knew to much about weopons and that and dey said it would be embarssing if i got baged coz a new what i was doing anyway. i was a marine before and thay siad i should do more skiil at arms and that and less time bumming.

    I could well get into the army if i wanted.