I am a vegetable…

During a rather heated meeting today , one of the younger,brighter/more talented and overpaid darlings spat the dummy , to the tune of “ WW you’re nothing more than a vegetable “ with my rapier like wit and repartee I responded “that’s as may be , but which one carrot top ? “ there was no reply. However I have spent the rest of the day wondering what vegetable I should be , should I be a Brussels sprout, on account of my excessive flatulence ? I did wonder about a pea, but I just had one, or possibly a marrow , on account of the excessive size of my …. you get the idea. Do you see your self as, or can relate to something off the greengrocery section of Tesco’s ?
Awaits incoming on this one………

Well WW, I'm sure you've heard the one about what the hardest thing is about putting a vegetable in a blender...

I see myself as Celery: Bad taste, pointless and best taken raw
WW I wouldn't have called you a vegetable..... they can photsynthesise. I'd have tipped you out of your chair and dragged my naked bottom over your face :D

Crabby.... you not a vegetable, just a plain and simple cnut.
Because I have a slightly fishy aftertaste or because we don't get along?

My dear mother always told me to play nicely before servicing another of her clients
I'd be a cucumber because lonely ladies insert them places when they're frustrated and I'm not talking about the salad shelf in the fridge either.
WW I am aware you have several limbs missing, but a chap I used work with who had 'short' arms, used to reply, "I'd like to be a w4nker like you, but I cant reach"
Courgette, for the same reasons JD wants to be a cucumber.

Courgette just sounds a bit more upmarket and poncey, probably attracts a better class of feminine vegetable abuser, and gets to live in a cleaner fridge.


A jerusalem artichoke for no other reason that its weird looking and you wouldnt like it up your hoop.
and gets to live in a cleaner fridge.
Not to mention a cleaner work environment...
How dare he call you a vegetable.........

Some vegetables still have all their limbs.
titsinatophat said:
Go straight to the ARRSE Hole
Do not pass go
Do not collect 200 dollar
Thats what she said, buddumm tsccchhhh.

"Oh my coat".... "and a taxi"... "You're too kind"

P.S I wanna be a spud. Because i'm always caked in mud and kids dont like me.
Spinach. Looks awful but tastes OK.
Ronseal Woodstain, mate. Smart As.
Id be an aubergine, they look nice but they are fecking usless.

O'h and I'm purple.


Book Reviewer
How about a jar of vegemite? You either love it or hate it.
Squiddly said:
I see myself as a mild chilli.

Popular, but irritating.
Irritating, yes, but who told you that you were popular.

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