I am a vegetable…

During a rather heated meeting today , one of the younger,brighter/more talented and overpaid darlings spat the dummy , to the tune of “ WW you’re nothing more than a vegetable “ with my rapier like wit and repartee I responded “that’s as may be , but which one carrot top ? “ there was no reply. However I have spent the rest of the day wondering what vegetable I should be , should I be a Brussels sprout, on account of my excessive flatulence ? I did wonder about a pea, but I just had one, or possibly a marrow , on account of the excessive size of my …. you get the idea. Do you see your self as, or can relate to something off the greengrocery section of Tesco’s ?
Awaits incoming on this one………

WW

 

Well WW, I'm sure you've heard the one about what the hardest thing is about putting a vegetable in a blender...

I see myself as Celery: Bad taste, pointless and best taken raw

 

WW I wouldn't have called you a vegetable..... they can photsynthesise. I'd have tipped you out of your chair and dragged my naked bottom over your face

Crabby.... you not a vegetable, just a plain and simple cnut.

 

Because I have a slightly fishy aftertaste or because we don't get along?

My dear mother always told me to play nicely before servicing another of her clients

 

I'd be a cucumber because lonely ladies insert them places when they're frustrated and I'm not talking about the salad shelf in the fridge either.

 

WW I am aware you have several limbs missing, but a chap I used work with who had 'short' arms, used to reply, "I'd like to be a w4nker like you, but I cant reach"

 

Courgette, for the same reasons JD wants to be a cucumber.

Courgette just sounds a bit more upmarket and poncey, probably attracts a better class of feminine vegetable abuser, and gets to live in a cleaner fridge.

 

A jerusalem artichoke for no other reason that its weird looking and you wouldnt like it up your hoop.

 

Not to mention a cleaner work environment...

 

I see myself as a mild chilli.

Popular, but irritating.

 

How dare he call you a vegetable.........















Some vegetables still have all their limbs.

 

A turnip, just a turnip.

Although I do have a head that looks like a peanut

 

Go straight to the ARRSE Hole
Do not pass go
Do not collect 200 dollar

 

Thats what she said, buddumm tsccchhhh.

"Oh my coat".... "and a taxi"... "You're too kind"

P.S I wanna be a spud. Because i'm always caked in mud and kids dont like me.

 

Broccoli, because Madeline McCann had to be forced to put me in her mouth.