I am a twin should I be worried?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by brighton hippy, Jun 3, 2010.

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  1. yes your going to get your just deserts in a hail of machinegunfire

    0 vote(s)
  2. no woodys slow and would run out of ammo before he reached brighton anyway

    0 vote(s)
  1. after Whitehaven got me thinking
    my twin is inherently evil took part in telic and committed war crimes admittedly crap ones (suspending haribo on fishing line out of reach of iraq kids) among others but still I'm sure phil could get a claim out of that :twisted:
    he has access to firearms in fact he has keys to the armoury.
    on the plus side he's crap at shooting without a c2 sight he's pretty hopeless and moves slightly faster than a tortoise although not with the tortoises determination and drive :evil:
    so should I be worried about 40 odd years of resentment driving him into an insane killing spree of truly random shooting much like his apwt or chillax as I'm 50 miles away and I lost his gps :twisted:
  2. Send him a letter explaining how you feel about him, if he can read it he may not kill you! ;)
  3. Did you ever shag one of his birds? If yes, start worrying.

    He's probably drawing a weapon as I type.
  4. How does he know you're not the potential killer?
  5. Reverse psychology, I like that. :D

    Right, Hippy Nutter dude, step away from the incense stick and the sharp pointy pencil.
  6. Do your parents own a dog called Cantona?
  7. He may kill you for your lack of grammar. So yes ... you should be worried.
  8. First we need to establish what sort of twins you are.

    Danny Devito and Arnie? The bad tempered small man and the psychotic cyborg death machine. Potential for one or both to be homocidal

    Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Stick thin, pox ridden crack whores. A certainty for both to be cockacidal.

    Gabriela and Monica Irimia. See above.

    Matt and Luke Goss........er, see above.

    Do you have a psychic bond? If you cut your finger, does your twin wince in sympathetic pain?

    Have you ever hung around at the end of a hotel corridor scaring the f*ck out of a small boy on a tricycle?

    The chances are one of you is a f*ckin' nut case. May I suggest that you elimanate all doubt by lopping off his head the instant you see him next. That way you can be sure he's not going to go postal at a later date.
  9. he has already threatened me about my grammar and did once brand me with a hot spoon for not making him a brew :(
  10. You are bipolar,and I claim my five pounds.
  11. Why don't you pip him to the post ... and kill him first. That way you've got no worries.
  12. I'm the father of twins, and am looking forward to trying to guess which of my boys will turn into a pyscho. I'm already pretty sure it will the youngest (by 3 minutes). The eldest is always giggling and smiley, the youngest is always watching and seems to be plotting. He reminds me of Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. Although if he does try to kill his mum (my wife), I'll give him an alibi and destroy any evidence if required.
  13. You shouldn't be worried that you're a twin. The rest of us should be, though.
  14. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    And if he tries to kill his father you will still be safe. :p :twisted:
  15. :D
    it gets worse I've succesfully bred :twisted: