I’m need of some guidance

Hi everyone just looking for some help really,

I’ll give you a brief outline of my situation and I hope someone can lend me they’re knowledge.

So I joined the army at 16(straight from school) so it was my first official job was becoming a cav soldier. I managed to deploy to Afghanistan as BRF soldier so I was trained with that best of the best mentality. However when I came back home afterwards I knew something wasn’t right with me but I tried to bury it deep down, this was in 2014 last Hedrick I know (really quiet not a lot of action) skip forward a year and I was deployed to Kenya on a training exercise decided I’d actually take my anti malaria pill. The mefloquine or otherwise known as Lariam, I had a seriously bad reaction from them where it flared up my ptsd to the point I tried to commit suicide a few times because I couldn’t sleep and so as a result I was sent back home to the uk of medical leave pending professional help, about 8 months later I was discharged from the army with a honourable discharge classes as “temperamentally unsuitable” so I never earned one of them lovely transition packagers to help me adjust to civi life. As a result I just carried on heading down hill, for approximately 2 years after around 2017-start of 2018 I wasn’t sleeping, had a serious drink problem and started to take drugs in part to numb my pain and stop my ptsd completely taking over my life. It was about a month later I was forced to try CBT therapy to help me try and process what was going on in my head, almost a year later I’ve turned my life around completely. However I still feel Asif all these problems have just been put to the back of my head. I know I’ve in part I’ve processed what went on but still feel lost without anyone of a similar background to talk to about it. After I went off the rails I lost all contact with the guys from my unit. I apologise for this huge statement I was just hoping there’s someone out there that might have some advice or possibly guidance on my situation.
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Thankyou for link, but I honestly hate the fact that when I first left it was like I was dead to the world with how the guys I had been on tour with who were like brothers to me who I’d even trained with for 2 years prior so they’re was a strong bond just abonded me and left me to go insane. I had serious anxiety to go anywhere near anything to do with military for over a year however my apparent “rcmo” at the time didn’t believe I suffered from mental health and just wanted an early discharge from the unit. So it really struck home when my last correspondence from unit said please refrain from contacting the unit, or any affiliates of that matter, which I do in part believe triggered the first spiral, I recently tried to approach combat stress about my condition start to spiral again but to no luck they put me a waiting list because I want a priority. I live close to the #spartagus campaign centre. Sorry about rambling again it’s just easier to hide behind annonimty and open up to stranger than it is to admit to anyone close I feel my mental health detoriating again.
This may or may not help, but Combat Stress apparently runs a helpline and I think it's 0800 1381619. They'll be online and you will find the right number.

Good luck to you and well done for turning yourself around.
Added to which you can always join the banter and abuse on here. There are all sorts from former privates to star rank, cooks to SF, we’ve all seen something and most of us have a demon or two tucked away, otherwise why would we be here.

It’s the best free online therapy you can get.

Keep the faith and hang with it bloke.
Just seen that the Combat Stress phone line runs 24/7. If you google Veterans Gateway there might be other avenues for you. Unfortunately I'm not using a computer but I'm almost sure you'll find plenty of support if not immediate treatment.

Hold fast mate.
Sorry for taking such a long time to reply to everyone helpful comments, and advice, I have rang combat stress a few times and it always leads back to the same circle of going to my local Gp to seek immediate medical attention, I’ve tried the taking medication to ease my problems however it just causes different symptoms to flare up instead, I’m sorry if you all think I’m going round in circles it’s just that’s what it feels like, I hate the thought that at 24 I feel like a failure who lived a full life till he turned 19 and came home from Afghanistan to only loose who I was as a person to a uncontrollable brain malfunction, I know I beat this problem once before but it just scares me that it’s triggered off again. I’m glad Atleast there are ex-forces who do help each other out, the banta on this page is great, I have even tried to reach out to countless serving/ex-forces pages and groups before but some (all the 10 I’ve triend) cases kinda just skim over the subject and return to the standard dark banta than address my painful subject

Either way I’m off to my local A&E again to go on for a special assessment again to get sent home at 5 in the morning because I’m a “low risk” patient

Thankyou all for you advice again,

I think the most important thing for you to realise is that you are not alone. Nor are you in any way a failure. There are people around with severe PTSD who have seen and experienced far less than you will have; be strong. Lariam fucked a lot of us up.

I’ve been working with a PTSD group here in Australia. Mostly veterans, but not all. Many of them are finding cannabis oils very beneficial for managing the anxiety associated with their PTSD.

I supply the group with a full spectrum cannabis oil because that’s all we can make, but I believe it’s the CBD which is most effective helping PTSD sufferers.

You can legally buy CBD oil in Holland and Barrett. Might be worth a try. Alternatively, PM me and I’ll send you some of what we make; were getting it through customs routinely now.
Sorry to hear you are suffering @Young&lost.

Mental health is no different to physical health. We get colds and Flu, sometimes we break a bone or get shin splints, sometimes we get a bit of a dose off the lass in the NAAFI!

The mind is the same. You might just feel a bit low or pissed off, you might be depressed or can't even get out of bed and have a shower.

It's all peaks and troughs, the most important thing is that you have recognised it. You have dealt with it before (like a cold) and you will deal with it now.

As @Effendi says, there are plenty on here who have had similar experience, you are not alone. They will talk, offer advice or take the piss! It all depends in what order!
Morning Young and Lost.
First of all, you are not alone and PTSD is something which can strike even the bravest. I have had bouts over all my post-service life as well as in-service.
First, your regiment should be disbanded if that’s the way it treats its wounded. Unfortunately it strikes me that some of the more glamour regiments are more worried about does my Arrse look big in this than looking after their own. Having said that have you contacted your veterans association, mine (the RCT, now RLC) have been class and that’s a corps.
Next a lot of towns and cities have breakfast clubs where people who understand what it’s like to be out meet usually once a month to swing the lamp and bull-shit, you can find the closest one to you on line (just type in Ex-forces breakfast club) they by simply being there are a great place to deal with issues that plague your past.
Have you applied for a War Disability Pension? (Details on-line), it’s a bit of a faff to get but once you get it, you get priority for assistance from the NHS. Your local SAAFA, again look them up on line will help you with the forms. Also consider applying for Personal Independence Payment (PIP), this is a mega faff but again SAAFA can help.
Next try and stop feeling sorry for yourselve, Arrse has all sorts of forums which can take the piss out of you if that’s your thing, but you can take the piss out of fellow arrsers and some of them were officers ‘classie telling an ex-brigadier he’s an arrse’ Personally I like the Ging forum, lots of nubile Gingers with very little on. But the Arrsehole offers an unbridled opportunity to trawl the depths of depravity where the Mods fear to tread.
Finally use your GP thats what they are their for, I have been on anti-depresents for years. If one sort doesn’t work get back and ask for a different one. Hostpitals are for emergencies not something that can be dealt with by your GP. There are also walk-in-centres which act like a GP’s surgery and their should be one near you.
Besides all the good advice above, some are helped by finding a niche they can enjoy. For some this is sport (invictus games etc), others it’s throwing yourself down a mountain in a bike or walking to the North Pole.

Personally I get involved with Bravo 22 company.

Bravo 22 Company: Recovery and wellbeing through the arts

Cast around or ask on here if something in particular catches your interest. There are a mass of opportunities out there.


Book Reviewer
@Young&lost - It's worth perservering with your doctor. If Combat Stress advised you to seek medical intervention, it's probably best you do that. Your meds need to be monitored and changed.

I'm on venlafaxine and whilst I can't recommend it, due to weight gain and lethargy, it has kept me alive for the last decade or so. The right meds can make all the difference.

So can talking and I highly recommend you grab a cup of tea and wander around some of these forums (fora?). As mentioned upthread, there's plenty of folk who can advise, or call you a stupid c*nt, however you want to deal with it.

You're amongst friends here, pull up a sandbag and if you want to talk, fill yer boots.
@Young&lost , well how are you feeling today?

I once read something about the Japanese and how because the live in a very crowded society they internalise many negative emotions and release them when appropriate. I thought that was a fcuking good plan and in my mind I have a little black box that I try and squeeze all my negative thoughts and emotions into so that I do not release them onto my family and friends. Then when I get together with a group of former military mates for a sounding off session I open my box and share my crap with them and they put me right - likewise they share their crap with me and I put them right. It can sometimes be difficult to see your own problems but, others in a similar situation can see the problem clear as day and help you out.
Rage rooms. I was told about them by a friend of mine about 10 years ago, they had one at his IT company. It was basically a room with carpeted walls and a mansized punch bag hanging down in the middle of the room with broomsticks to beat the crap out of the bag. The more frustrated individuals used to print out pictures of the person who had offended them and tape it to the bag before beating the bag to death for half an hour.

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