Hypothetical Question regarding rank ranged marriages!

#1
I totally agree with whats been put on here before that juniors shouldn't be able to go into the sergeants mess even if their partner/wife/husband is a member. In fact why would anyone want to degrade themselves by going somewhere where they're not wanted. My question is, if this isn't the done thing is it out of the realms of possibility that for dos and other functions the member of the sergeants mess woud be allowed (If invited and voted on by mess members) into the Juniors Mess to accompany their partner?

I can see potential problems in this i.e. some Junior Ranks Mess members may think they're being spied on etc etc but if the sergeant/ssgt etc was an OK guy/girl and no one had a problem with it would it be against regs?
 
#2
Your argument is flawed mate - you cant have it both ways - either stick to a rigid seperation policy or become flexible both ways.

I know you probably worked hard to get in the mess but it is an unfortunate/fortunate (depending how you look at it) truth that male soldiers marry far more female soldiers these days.

Women in the Army make up 8.2% of the British Army and can fill 71% of available jobs with these figures increasing all the time. This will only serve to make this problem more prevalent.

When these issues become higher profile it will force all Messes to completely open up their doors to spouses. Most likely through some European Law promoting spousal rights. When it comes it will be much harder for Infantry/RA messes to adjust than Corps messes but thats solely down to the different ways they interact in the workplace.
 
#4
greengoblin said:
I totally agree with whats been put on here before that juniors shouldn't be able to go into the sergeants mess even if their partner/wife/husband is a member. In fact why would anyone want to degrade themselves by going somewhere where they're not wanted. My question is, if this isn't the done thing is it out of the realms of possibility that for dos and other functions the member of the sergeants mess woud be allowed (If invited and voted on by mess members) into the Juniors Mess to accompany their partner?

I can see potential problems in this i.e. some Junior Ranks Mess members may think they're being spied on etc etc but if the sergeant/ssgt etc was an OK guy/girl and no one had a problem with it would it be against regs?
It boils down to a COs/RSM interpretation of them.

Friend of mine married a screw. She was a major at the time, he from a med sf background. I didn't have a problem with it as they were v definately in different CoC. Both went to each others Mess but as either a Mr or a Mrs. Noone had a problem with this.

I have another who went from WO1 to Capt with a Mrs who was still WO2. CO said she wasn't welcome to the mess and he therefore withdrew from that Mess. CO had kittens but I saw my mates side. Next CO reversed the decision.

The rank thing these days has to be dealt with reasonably. I accept there may be questions if both partners live and work in the same unit. However, as long as the non member partner takes no rank into the ranking partners mess, whatever Mess it is, there shouldn't be a problem with it.

Edited for mong fingers
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#6
theonethatknows said:
My wife is an officer and i am a Warrant Officer!! So what would you have done with her!!
Asked her to keep her hat and pips on and done her over the desk.
 
#7
Biscuits_AB said:
theonethatknows said:
My wife is an officer and i am a Warrant Officer!! So what would you have done with her!!
Asked her to keep her hat and pips on and done her over the desk.
Biscuits you utter utter barsteward, I thought it safe to read this thread whilst having a nice quite Saturday afternoon beer. Result: beer stained screen and very iffy keyboard.
 
#10
rebel_with_a_cause said:
Biscuits_AB said:
theonethatknows said:
My wife is an officer and i am a Warrant Officer!! So what would you have done with her!!
Asked her to keep her hat and pips on and done her over the desk.
Biscuits you utter utter barsteward, I thought it safe to read this thread whilst having a nice quite Saturday afternoon beer. Result: beer stained screen and very iffy keyboard.
Biccies you swine sir! I haven't laughed so much since Jonny Wilkinson had fourteen stitches...
 
#11
I am pleased that the true thread has been lost again!! foolish of me to think otherwise, however i will take your advice and let you kow the result!!
 
#13
I was once married to a member of the WRAC subsequently AGC (SPS) I was a full screw and she was a Sgt. I was not allowed into her mess because the RSM was sh@gging her, broke my heart it did :yawnstretch: Hence my EX wife, rolling around the hills of Wales now I think, the bottom line is the Army struggles with rank ranged relationships and few army marriages stand the test of time.
 
#14
I'd like to add a different slant to the subject....

Surely some people would welcome the 'forced separation' that different messes can bring? Let's face it, you can't talk about the wife very easily if she's drinking with you. There are also some things that go on within the confines of the mess that are best not found out by the other half

:thumright: :highfive:
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#15
theonethatknows said:
I am pleased that the true thread has been lost again!! foolish of me to think otherwise, however i will take your advice and let you kow the result!!
Have we got a result yet?
 
#16
Well I is married to a fem Cpl and I is in the seniors club. So far in three units no one has given a flying **** about her rank. As long as she respects the rules and causes no embarresment (as we wish all wives would)people accept her as just another wife. Mind you it helps were in different Corps so we do not work in same camp. In that senario I'm not sure I'd want her in the Mess myself. By the way opting out of the mess if your wife/hubby etc not accepted is not a good option. Oh messes were Eng/Inf and REME. The only mess I have heard of banning someones partner was 6Bn in 99.

Try asking your RSM in the first instance and see if he says yay or nay. If he's stubborn as for your cause to be put to a vote by the mess. Or just dont mention he/shes a different rank or even in the army
 
#17
Manic_mechanic said:
Well I is married to a fem Cpl and I is in the seniors club. So far in three units no one has given a flying **** about her rank. As long as she respects the rules and causes no embarresment (as we wish all wives would)people accept her as just another wife. Mind you it helps were in different Corps so we do not work in same camp. In that senario I'm not sure I'd want her in the Mess myself. By the way opting out of the mess if your wife/hubby etc not accepted is not a good option. Oh messes were Eng/Inf and REME. The only mess I have heard of banning someones partner was 6Bn in 99.

Try asking your RSM in the first instance and see if he says yay or nay. If he's stubborn as for your cause to be put to a vote by the mess. Or just dont mention he/shes a different rank or even in the army
And if another senior asked her to leave the mess would you have a problem with it?
 
#18
dingerr said:
And if another senior asked her to leave the mess would you have a problem with it?
Is that for a breach of Mess rules, because He/She wanted to be pedantic or are they trying to cop off?

Only ask because as a guest they should be in your presence so surely said senior would ask you the Mess member. If you have already cleared it with RSM/Presiding Member and acting within guidelines situation should not arise.

We are just talking at functions etc, partners (junior/offr or Civ) should not be in the Mess without a host.
 
#19
And if another senior asked her to leave the mess would you have a problem with it?[/quote]

Nope, problems can be sorted in the mess or round the back of it.

Depended on the senior and that senior's problem.

If it was just his/her view that a junior should not be in the mess but the mess as a whole had no objection then that's tough luck for him.

Just the same as if I objected to someone elses drunken wife gobbing off halfway through a dineout.
 

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