Husbands in......Does that mean i cant be...?

Discussion in 'Join the Army - Regular Soldier Recruitment' started by engrswife, Oct 21, 2009.

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  1. My hubby's been in 11 years. Before i met him 4 years ago i'd applied to join up. But getting to know him and what he did as a career, i retracted my application. (didnt want him to think i was some crazy stalker in the early days. lol) We now have 2 children and i know he is in for his full 22. But here's the thing, since having kids, all i seem to do is stay at home and bring them up and i just feel like im existing. Maybe i am jelous of him continuing his career whilst i havent been able to have one due to having kids. (both under 2) I feel like i made a mistake by retracting my application. I really wanted a career in the army but now feel i cant.
    Do you think i should stay a soldiers wife? Or do you think it'd be accepted/easy for me to join up, even with 2 kids....
    Advise please, as mega confused! Thanks.
  2. Question, how old are you ?
    (wouldnt normally ask)

    In the end even before knowing that you have to do whats right by you, or you will find yourself always regretting your decision. The worst possible secnario is that you may start to feel like its your husbands and your childrens fault. Even if you are the most wonderfull mother in the world, you may not notice the resentment that you start to feel towards them.

    Sit yourself down. Get a piece of paper and write down the positives and negatives. Then ask your husband to sit with you and front him the idea. Get him to do a list of his positives and negatives on the situation. Compare and decide, but at the end of the day make it your choice.

    Feel free to PM if the thread gets off topic.
  3. Take a tour of your nearest run down council estate and see all the aimless, feckless kids who are either young enough to be bunking off school or who have left school with no job and no prospects. Let loose on society to be a drain and a burden on it, committing more than their fair share of crime and abusing themselves and others around them.
    Being a responsible loving parent is one of the most important things anybody can do these days, the survival of the human race depends on it. Why join the Army to satisfy your own selfish needs when both children are so young and so dependent on their Mum? How are they going to enjoy their first day at school when you're 3 months into an Afghan tour?
    Your role as a Mum is far more important a role than you'll ever have as a soldier so stop thinking about you and think of your kids, you wanted them, no one ever said bringing kids up would be easy but it is one of the most important jobs there is because they're your kids and your responsibility and at least one of you should be able to be relied on to be there for them when they need you.
  4. There are lots of wives and husbands serving so the answer is yes you can join aswell, but there are a lot of considerations you must make but the main ones I can think of straight away are:

    Who will look after the kids if you are both on exercise or tour at the same time??

    What happens if you dont get a posting at the same area?????

    How will you both cope with family seperation and how will the family adapt.

    This is before all the other selection and application starts.

    As said i know lots of married personnel who can be apart for 12 months plus due to tours/training and postings.

    Good luck
  5. With two Children under two it would take an awful lot of Logistics to juggle les enfants during your Phase 1 & Phase 2. It would take a lot of soul searching on your behalf to leave two wee ones. I would imagine the AFCO would also quiz you in depth. Sadly recruitment is declining but what about thinking about the TA once things (hopefully) get better.....

    You would have the best of both worlds & spend a lot more time with your kids. Again you would have to think about what would happen if you deployed. Without being sexist kids really need their mum before they start P1.
  6. A common question with the same answers. Search function would of answered this for you.
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