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Husband blames dog for farting.

NSP

LE
Like this is a new thing, never been done before...?
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
On the very few occasions when I break wind, the Springer gives me what is traditionally described as an 'old fashioned look' and leaves the room. I suspect that, in a previous incarnation, he was framed for expelling some unspeakable foulness and has no intention of letting that happen twice.

By contrast, the Cocker doesn't give a sh1t - however close I come to doing so.
 
A good few years back there was a nice story in the Telegraph obituary of a former senior Guards officer with the resounding name of Gregor McGregor of McGregor.

Anyway, the story goes that on one occasion, he was the parade commander of (likely) a Queens Birthday Parade when his horse let rip with an almighty ripping fart, just as a it was passing close to a right marker.

The conversation is supposed to have gone like this.
McG of McG: "Sorry about that, Sergeant.
Sgt: "That's alright sir, I thought it was the horse"
 
My brother trained his dog to go down on it's front paws, stick it's arse in the air and fart towards people. Filthy bugger!
This one made me laugh:
 
A good few years back there was a nice story in the Telegraph obituary of a former senior Guards officer with the resounding name of Gregor McGregor of McGregor.

Anyway, the story goes that on one occasion, he was the parade commander of (likely) a Queens Birthday Parade when his horse let rip with an almighty ripping fart, just as a it was passing close to a right marker.

The conversation is supposed to have gone like this.
McG of McG: "Sorry about that, Sergeant.
Sgt: "That's alright sir, I thought it was the horse"
May have actually been McGregor himself if Simon Mann's opinion is correct

From wiki

In 2011 the British mercenary and former Scots Guard and SAS officer, Simon Mann upset members of Clan Gregor and MacGregor's family after publishing his autobiography in which he describes MacGregor as a "small, toxic, red-haired, farting, foul-mouthed, stentorian dragon".
 
I lost one of my wrist bandages a couple of days ago (broken wrist). Absolutely stumped as to how I could just mislay it.

It came out of the dog (after 3 or 4 tries) this morning :(
 

TBGB

Old-Salt
My dog lets some blinders rip. Personally I think it is amusing and it winds the Mrs up no end. The annoying thing is that she sleeps in the kitchen and i get woken up a couple of times a week by the gas alarm/carbon monoxide monitor going off as a result of her (the dog's not the wife's) farting.
 

964ST

Old-Salt
When I let one rip in the house in the presence, I always say the dogs name in a chastising way trying to apportion blame.
The Fact the dog was put down a year and a half ago still does not stop me!
 

Chimp

ADC
Still get away with it and the dog died 2 years ago.
 

haloman

Old-Salt
Fart.jpg
 

RTU'd

War Hero
The woman must be a blonde & thick to think it was always the dog.
Suggest she gets rid of the bloke & keeps the dog.
 
My dog lets some blinders rip. Personally I think it is amusing and it winds the Mrs up no end. The annoying thing is that she sleeps in the kitchen and i get woken up a couple of times a week by the gas alarm/carbon monoxide monitor going off as a result of her (the dog's not the wife's) farting.
Your wife sleeps in the kitchen, too?
Harsh.
 

Ned_Seagoon

War Hero
Our hound has been taught not to beg anywhere near the table. However ......... she does have a talent for sitting very smartly, about 2m away from the table and looking totally innocent while she lets rip - long and slow.
 

NSP

LE
Goddammit!! Some bloody stink just been let rip in my lounge.

One problem: I don't have a dog.
 

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