It's official... I have a hangover that would kill a civilian.

Following a stag farewell Dinner night in the Mess, I awoke at 0900 this morning with the taste of vomit in my mouth, carpet rash on my forehead, and stony silence from the wife(apparently when I got back at 0445 she remonstrated with me for making enough noise to waken the dead, let alone the kids, so I told her to ram it and watch I didn't slot her like in South Armagh(WTF?)). My last coherent memory is belting out Bohemian Rhapsody on the Curryerky(rather well, IMHO), and having a "kids of today" chat with an RSM from PWRR.

I've dragged my sorry carcass into work this morning because I've been dicked with doing some really stupid things for the TA this weekend, and I need to get some advice from the speshulists down the road so I don't fry anyone. Trouble is I'll have to drive to see them, and I won't be sober enough for that until Sunday.

So I'm sitting here marinating in my own farts, occasionally emitting grumbles and moans from both ends, avoiding the phone and sunlight.

Ouch it all hurts.


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Irn Bru and a nice hot pie!
feign death/coma. in the event of your acting being mistaken for coma then you'll get hooked up to some machines that go "Ping!" and a nice drip or two.
A good bloody mary works wonders!
Tea tree shampoo stuff......feels like its burning your scalp off but is the wake up cure and a half.

Oh, fry up and a brew.
Drink as much water as you can, have a fry up, drink tea and then have a beer. Failing that see if you can get any sleep or phys in.
Even the fabled egg banjo hasn't resuscitated me, my only hope is intravenous PG Tips and a damp flannel.
Oxygen at 100% works wonders! If you are near a med centre pop over and talk to the nice orderly on duty ;)
The only cure (apart from more alcohol) is sleep followed by a bacon roll and a bottle of coke. Luckily no one can se me at work so I can always have a nice kip when I feel especially feeble the morning after the night before.
I to had a head like a smacked arrse on monday, but in the true traditions of Army/forces in general (i think). i turned up at work at 7am in decent order. however i spent the whole day feeling like my gink was part of a medical experiment! it burned like fire even when i farted, even turning my head caused indescribable pain. the only thing i could do was suffer, and i think to be fair i deserved it! a hang over is the only real way of knowing how much you've spent! i spent £280 on the army/navy weekend (friday till sunday, including the church!) and by god did i know it on monday! if the egg banjo fails, nothing is gonna work, you'll have to just suffer!
hallveg said:
i turned up at work at 7am in decent order.
No you didn't, but then again in your defence, you never do. When I saw you this morning, I thought you were coming OFF nights. You looked like you had combed your hair with a thunderflash.
2 settlers tums, 2 nurofen, a pint of orange juice (fresh, not squeezed) and a pint of very sweet tea. Sleep for a couple of hours and you should be ok. And have a really good beer sh1t.
I always find some ferocious hand to gland action helps to pump the toxins out the system

not in an open plan office though
I, myself, am off for a hair of the dog following last nights escapades, feeling rather shabby today. However not as shabby as my front door, which my rozzer 'mate' tried to kick in cos i wasn't there when he rocked up (before you start, it definately was not my back doors 8O ). If ever you need to break into your house, DON'T ask anyone from North Yorks Cnutstabulary... they just make a bloody mess of it :evil: