Hunch back of Notré Dam

Discussion in 'Sick Jokes' started by Welshexpat, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Old Quasi was staggering around the backstreets of Paris, absolutely bladdered, people crossed the street as they saw him coming - he was disgusting - pissed and shat his pants a few times, puke and phlegm down the front of his vest .... ugh!

    He decides he fancies a shag and manages to corner a disgusting old whore - she's absolutely too terrified to tell him to fcuk off and gets dragged up to his belfry.

    He undoes his fly; his pants and their contents slop to the floor, then he tries to mount the whore and flakes out on top of her.

    There she is, pinned to the ground by 20 stone of putridness - weeping sores and boils dribbling down on her - breath that would strip paint, a beard that moved with it's own micro culture.

    She can't contain herself and pukes all over the back of his neck - this wakens him. In a panic he starts rubbing the puke off his neck "Aaaaah - aaaaaaaah AAAAAAAH Noooo"

    "I'm sorry said the whore, I was sick - must've been something I ate"

    "Oh thank fcuk for that" says Quasi "I thought my hump had burst!"