HR gone mad

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by canarybob, Nov 3, 2012.

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    Got sent this by e-mail, and don't know if it is real, but made me chuckle just a lot.

    To be honest, knowing HR wouldn't surprise me if it is gen.
  2. If it's not a spoof, I think 'Simon' has shown a great deal of tolerance. Mr David Thorne would be at the local A&E to have a computer monitor removed from his anus if he had pulled the same shit on me.
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  3. Hahahaha
  4. We got a talking to after we welded one of the lad´s tool box shut coz he´s a cunt :shakefist:
    No sense of humor these Germans
  5. Isn't Thorne the Aussie who sent a drawing of a seven-legged spider as payment for a utilities bill? It was on Have I Got News For You a while back when Al Murray hosted it, IIRC.
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  6. "Canarybob", you sound like an absolute saint compared to me. Only the other week I stuck a whole roll of “gaffa” tape with obscene messages written upon it around the office of one of our trainees, so when he turned the lights on he had a whole books worth of obscene suggestions to read, all aimed at him ........... reams and reams of the stuff! Other pranks have included me sending him texts with my hotel room number telling him………”15 grand if you get here in ten minutes”. (Even though *I am not at a hotel, usually home in bed with my mani!!). The poor young man has been my target for months: Have sewed up the trouser legs of his tracksuit, hid his phone, one night called his mother on his phone and told her he was getting fat (just about been forgiven for that one), given his underwear to the ladies in the office, dribbled on his lunch, sent a constant stream of obscene phone texts (my particular favourite was 'come back quick I'm pooing in your protein powder '), told the ladies in reception he wants to spend the night with them (especially the one's over 50), dipped his pens in glue, removed the stuffing from the seat of his chair and generally, metaphorically, kicked his youthful butt. Yes I know it's harassment in the work place of a 20 year old but believe me you hit your seventh decade you no longer give a f--- about Political Correctness and I love the fear on his face when my wonderful husband asks him “has my wife been good to you this week?”
  7. Can you explain why he hasn't beaten you death yet? Or are you posting this whilst slowly decomposing at the bottom of the local canal?
  8. Nah, I think Simon has shown a complete lack of imagination in counter measures, and a touching faith in the powers of HR Depts all over office world.

    Have you noticed how they all seem to be run, by girlies, and for girlies of both sexes.

    If you have the same inability to fend for yourself against someone dancing near you, and cannot think of a better way to fend off silent phone calls, then I feel not being in the police was probably a sanity saving move for yourself.

    Do you really think that letter would do anything other than spur the recipient onto more outrageous, less traceable efforts? I don't.
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  9. Eh? You've completely lost me!

  10. Yeh, he is. Load more of his stuff here:

    Go away
  11. Admit it. You really want to ravish him stupid in the cleaner's cupboard. And "wonderful" husband is eventually going to catch on!

    Unless he wants to join in of course. ( being 70 is no handicap ).
  12. Of course you have! :roll: Any more porkies you want to tell us, Toyah walt??
  13. Blue Watch have been dispatched on a shout to dampen down your trouser hems.
  14. What I mean is relying on HR to sort out problems of this ilk is pointless; if I was given a letter like that, I would know the wind ups were working, and that I need to make sure future ones aren't traceable to me.

    Your response of physical retaliation would not go down well at the subsequent enquiry;

    'Well sir, I was listening to my i-pod as I went past Simon's office when he attacked me with a monitor, which needed hospital treatment. I can't understand why.'

    Simon, 'He was dancing at me! I've complained to HR about it!'

    See what I mean?
  15. Ah, Gotcha, just read his posts as per the above link, it's obviously a spoof and a very good one.

    We didn't use HR in the plod for complaints, a live baby herring gull in your car overnight does the same trick
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