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I liked the bloke with the beard, reminded me of a very special uncle.
Large amount of explosives. Less forensics.
Start a side line in pies like Sweeney Todd. Sell them at footie matches, I for one have never inquired to what exactly is in those pies.


Book Reviewer
Give her a voucher for the most expensive shoe shop in the Metro Centre and by total coincidence I visit the Metro centre at the same time she goes shopping. She has her voucher and I have a milan.
Pies? Her mother now looks like the Michelin man and has diabetes ( thanks God, that was a nice one) so I don't reckon she'll fall for pastry/
scrofula said:
would you waste an ex-wife? Just inquisite, like.
Get a decent sized basment type room and cover it in plastic sheeting. Get shit loads of egg boxes and get the bugger sound proofed.
Get the wench into the basment and have a bit of fun before disposal. I recommend slicing off eylids for starters, she can't close her eyes to try and seperate herself from the pain your gonna put her through.
The I would go for a decent knife, weged under the knee-cap and apply pressure. I always thought the sound would be like a suction cap coming away from a window, untill the inevitable 'pop' as the knee-cap dislocates itself from the knee and is free floating around under the skin. After that a good deal of slicing of dangly bits off the body would cheer me up no end.

Once a good deal of fun has been had I would wrap the remains of the wench in the plastic sheeting as I took it from the walls. All remains, egg-boxes etc would get wrapped up so there would be nothing left apart from a mass of stuff in plastic sheeting.

Take this mass of sheeting and, under cover of darkness, put in the footwell of the back of the car, to give proper weight distribution in the car, fooling any on-lookers.

Now, I'm not RA so I would have to do a bit of research but I would try and find the land where the AS90 or any other Artillery pieces carry out their range work.

Wait for a nice night then bury the plastic mass about 2-3 feet under the main impact area.

Retire to the gentleman's club for choice cigars and fine port.


Book Reviewer
Shit. I thought that youtube clip was one of a fat bint getting vapourised in a shoe shop.
Ask her if this pad smells of chloroform then place her in the boot of your car and sell her to the nearest Arab. Job done.
scrofula said:
Stinkerson, I like the thinking, but can you imagine the time it would take to get an artillery strike? Months perhaps.
That's the beauty of it. Whilst everyone is running around wondering on the whereabouts of said wench, you can play the waiting game.

If you get bored of that you could play Ker-plunk or Guess Who or Rock'em, Sock 'em Robots. :)

Treat em' mean

Till they scream for mercy

Which they won't get


Just more pain and humiliation until the thought or escaping is totally driven from them and all they can do is count the seconds until the blade bites again.

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