How would you improve a film

Discussion in 'Films, Music and All Things Artsy' started by Tibbins, Feb 6, 2013.

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  1. Seems like there are plenty of film buffs on ARRSE - interesting to see your thoughts on what changes you would make to improve films. perhaps making a so-so into a blockbuster, or a classic even better

    A few to start:

    Enemy at the Gates - Jude Law et al, actually have a go at Russian and German accents, even 'allo allo' standard would be vast improvement on cockny/ generic English drawl. At least Hoskins had a go.

    Rocky I to 5 - reshoot the fight scences to be less wwf and half belivable. I loved the films as a kid, but I shake my head now. Rocky Balboa just about managed it (aside from sly being nearly 60) and Warrior with Tom Hardy was a surprisingly good film.

    Any which way but lose - put your pity to one side Clint and just nail Tank Maddox in the face to claim the accolades. You deserve it after that blond bint Dick teased you

    Rattatouille- introduce several Jack Russell characters or breeds of the terrier variety. Run time now down to 10mins and the guidance certificate upped to an 18

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  2. Jack Palance should have played Shane, not Alan Ladd
  3. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    jack palance was a little young wasn't he?
  4. I had to double check that on IMDB but i was right, for once!! Jack Palance played the bad guy in Shane.

    Shane was a city slicker, sharply dressed in black, not some buckskin clad shortie.
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  5. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    my bad then as its been a while I remember reading something about him being the little boy, I think it was in a review of hawk the slayer.
  6. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    as to how to iprove a film then how about removing all the whooping cheering and USA USA ing at the end of every bloody action movie where they bully some poor set of aliens
  7. Proper salutes in certain war films would be nice as well, also realistic magazines!!
  8. And not dropping a target at over a hundred meters with a pistol.

    Also a lone cop not winning a firefight with a 6 shooter against a platoon of crims picking smgs and assault rifles

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  9. Keep Love Stories out of War Movies. Pearl Harbor (the latest one) was absolutely shite, both as a war movie and a love story.

    Is it a coincidence that the best war series ever made - BoB - had not a single woman in it and the best movie- SPRyan - only had a few women pertinent to the story. Clerks, Mother etc.


    "Pacific"...ruined by love.

    "Platoon" women.

    "Hamburger Hill" women.

    "Once we were Soldiers"..ruined...lot's of women.

    "GI Jane"...about a women...absolute shite and so I rest my case.
  10. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    hamburger hill had wimmin in it. suzies bath house.
  11. But thats different!!
  12. Improve three weddings and a funeral by reversing the title and plot.
  13. The Olympic womens judo would have been better if they took their kit off and wrestled in a bath of jelly.
  14. I would improve Rocky 1 to 25 by simply applying my 1926 ACME patent tire vulcanising kit to my Stallones swede before re-shooting them all, because any tired old retread is capable of better method acting than that jumped up little wop clothes horse!