How would you improve a film

#1
Seems like there are plenty of film buffs on ARRSE - interesting to see your thoughts on what changes you would make to improve films. perhaps making a so-so into a blockbuster, or a classic even better

A few to start:

Enemy at the Gates - Jude Law et al, actually have a go at Russian and German accents, even 'allo allo' standard would be vast improvement on cockny/ generic English drawl. At least Hoskins had a go.

Rocky I to 5 - reshoot the fight scences to be less wwf and half belivable. I loved the films as a kid, but I shake my head now. Rocky Balboa just about managed it (aside from sly being nearly 60) and Warrior with Tom Hardy was a surprisingly good film.

Any which way but lose - put your pity to one side Clint and just nail Tank Maddox in the face to claim the accolades. You deserve it after that blond bint Dick teased you

Rattatouille- introduce several Jack Russell characters or breeds of the terrier variety. Run time now down to 10mins and the guidance certificate upped to an 18



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Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#3

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
my bad then as its been a while I remember reading something about him being the little boy, I think it was in a review of hawk the slayer.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
as to how to iprove a film then how about removing all the whooping cheering and USA USA ing at the end of every bloody action movie where they bully some poor set of aliens
 
S

syledis

Guest
#7
Proper salutes in certain war films would be nice as well, also realistic magazines!!
 
#9
Keep Love Stories out of War Movies. Pearl Harbor (the latest one) was absolutely shite, both as a war movie and a love story.

Is it a coincidence that the best war series ever made - BoB - had not a single woman in it and the best movie- SPRyan - only had a few women pertinent to the story. Clerks, Mother etc.

OTHERS:

"Pacific"...ruined by love.

"Platoon"...awesome...no women.

"Hamburger Hill".....awesome...no women.

"Once we were Soldiers"..ruined...lot's of women.

"GI Jane"...about a women...absolute shite and so I rest my case.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
hamburger hill had wimmin in it. suzies bath house.
 
#13
Improve three weddings and a funeral by reversing the title and plot.
 
#14
The Olympic womens judo would have been better if they took their kit off and wrestled in a bath of jelly.
 
#15
I would improve Rocky 1 to 25 by simply applying my 1926 ACME patent tire vulcanising kit to my Stallones swede before re-shooting them all, because any tired old retread is capable of better method acting than that jumped up little wop clothes horse!
 
#17
How about improving the Financial News?

This inane string of tv bloopers gets really interesting around 1 min 8 sec

[video=youtube;KThBCn_xJOY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KThBCn_xJOY[/video]
 
#18
Keep Love Stories out of War Movies. Pearl Harbor (the latest one) was absolutely shite, both as a war movie and a love story.

Is it a coincidence that the best war series ever made - BoB - had not a single woman in it and the best movie- SPRyan - only had a few women pertinent to the story. Clerks, Mother etc.

OTHERS:

"Pacific"...ruined by love.

"Platoon"...awesome...no women.

"Hamburger Hill".....awesome...no women.

"Once we were Soldiers"..ruined...lot's of women.

"GI Jane"...about a women...absolute shite and so I rest my case.
Sounds a bit like gay porn might be right up your alley.
 
#20
Watch "roots" backwards for a different ending:jocolor:
 
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