How would you have dealt with these idiots?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by dazmart, Jul 18, 2008.

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  1. TARGETS TO THE FRONT! IN YOUR OWN TIME, GO ON! or the RSM of said guards regiment offering a weeks leave to anyone who can spear a burberrry cap with their SA-80 bayonet
  2. We're above cretins like that. The lads get that sort of stuff everyday probably, and are used to it. Water off a ducks back an' all that.
  3. See? That's what happens when squaddies get issued Mickey Mouse guns. If he'd had an SLR, he could've dealt out a few swift butt-strokes and been back in position with an innocent look on his grid before they even hit the deck.

  4. I hope that someone in a Guards regiment, with all the tradition that has to be upheld, would not be disturbed by an idiot or two making silly comments. Surely there is a procedure (there is for everything else) if you need to visit the lavatory. Perhaps a swift turn with a stamp down on the miscreants foot and march off might be in order.
  5. Isn´t there a copper to back up the lads?

    Alo, can they not change arms whilst stood on guard? I reckon a sudden movement of a bayonet tipped weapon would have had the little oiks running for cover!!!
  6. Don't Guards Regiments still have sniper platoons?
  7. that's what I was thinking ... if that had happened, a puddle on the floor might have been at someone else's feet, I suspect!!

  8. The coolest thing I've seen at Horse Guards (apart from every parade etc) was a guy on his horse ride out in to the road to stop an american tourist getting out of his taxi; the horse was right up against the door and the taxi driver was trying to stop said tourist but yankee boy was determined. Apparently there is a by-law that forbids people getting out of a vehicle infront of the gates.

    V impressive.
  9. Seem to remember thousands of years ago when sentries used to march up and down outside of railings,some idiots used to delight in standing directly in front of patrolling sentries.One sentry eventually kicked one idiot out of the way with a highly polished size 10 ammo boot.I believe he was charged for this,newspapers got hold of story,published it and he received that much money from Joe Public that he bought a car.Nice one.
  10. They have Swords rather than rifles. A swift "Sharpe like" jab may have been called for?

    edited for mong school boy error.
  11. Sounds like the whole account was b0ll0cks to me:

    1. You can't be outside Whitehall, it is a street not a building
    2. The Guard at Whitehall is HCR and the foot sentry is armed with a sword.
    3. Although the LG element wear red tunics the Breastplate and big shiney helmet would be more visible as would the four foot long boots
    4. The only place anyone would get near a Foot Guard would be St James' (do they still mount Guard there?)
    5. People take the p1ss all the time I doubt the guys would even notice unless it was one of the many ladies who want to 'bag' a Guardsman.

    I was in central london earlier in the week with a group of foreign tourists and everyone wanted their pic taken with one of the Household Guards outside Whitehall. Whilst we were queuing and seeing everyone having their pics taken there were a group of english lads milling around and they kept going up to the side of the guards in the red-tunics etc, standing next to them and saying stuff like,

    "I bet you really really need a wee mate, don't you!"

    "How bad are you dying for a p**s, mate?"

    "I'll bet you a fiver you wet yourself standing here!"

    and lots more (and worse!)

    The guard just stood there staring ahead of him although once or twice I saw his eyes flicker in the direction of the yobbish lads. After a few minutes the lads ran off calling out stuff about "we'll be back to see the puddle" and stuff like that and laughing their heads off.

    I can't tell you how much I wanted the guard to suddenly leap into action and stick his bayonet somewhere unpleasant. I wonder how the lads would have reacted then?

    It got me thinking about how often these military lads have to put up with stuff like this?
  12. nope the horse guards carry swords while the foot guards are equipped with SA80s with bayonets fixed
  13. what about underneath that arch at horseguards parade?

    That's one of the places where I've seen it possible to get right alongside?
  14. also the foot guards post at the tower of london is one of the others, not sure if there actually is anymore where you can stand up close and personal with a guard....