How would you ease prison overcrowding?

#42
Sandpapered to death anyone?
 
#43
Two thoughts:

1. Camp beds in a dry dock. When the dock gets overcrowded, open the gates at high tide. Close them at low tide, drain the water and restock with camp beds.

2. Send the inmates to one of the Falkland Islands. To ease their boredom and keep them warm, they could set about replacing the peat with topsoil and start a farm. When it's established, move them to another island to start the process again. Should keep them busy for a while. When their sentence is over, they can make their own way home.
 
#44
They could do a phone in quiz with a top holiday for a family of four as the prize...
I wonder what other game show rip-offs can be thought of...

How about a variation on Deal or No Deal, whereby to save on staffing costs, a prisoner becomes the executioner. He's given the choice of course, (free country) whether or not to execute his fellow scumbag. On refusing, It's declared a roll-over. He's lined up next to his fellow scumbag, and a third is brought out and given the same choice.

Then how about a Big Brother clone? As per Battle Royale, the rules would be fairly simple.

My favourite idea is one based on the old 90's show, 'Gladiator' (remember that?). The gladiators would be recruited from amongst the prisons, and the contestants sourced from local mong-insdtitutions. Who d'ya reckon would win in a fight between a kiddie fiddler and five mongs with bats and barber's scalpels? It'd certainly be a close one. Dunno if i'd bet either way, but defo pay to see it.
 
#45
might have been suggested, but how about lashing a few to the front of landies/warriors etc as some budget form of composite armour. Doubt its effective but very Ally cruising round Basra with a few heads on the bonnet. Would also demonstrate to AQ that no matter how horrid they are to their people. we can be worse.

On that note, back into the straight jacket...
 
#46
Put them on Pay as you dine..

Barbaric and cruel I know but its certainly eased overcrowding in the mess.
 
#47
spiffy said:
predatorplus said:
firing squad??
I'd do it, wonder what the pay would be like...mind you I'd do it for free.
Might be piece work - quids in!! :D
 
#48
Nehustan said:
Morty said:
Wall off New York and move them all there. It'll be reet so long as Kurt Russell's still breathing.
Scottish Island, probably one that doesn't make single malts (although maybe the labour could increase production :twisted: )...then as per the film.
Hmmm... they could always re-infect Gruinard :twisted:
 
#49
Sorry if this has already been mentioned,

Does anyone remember the timeless classic (haha) The Running Man with good old Arnie? for anyone who doesn,t, its simply a gameshow where the contestants played by murderers, rapists etc, have to run through 4 different zones to freedom, but the pursued by assasins and CCTV the entire time and it televised, can you imagine that on Grandstand, you could even get Chris Kamara to do the commentry,
 
#51
As far as I can I'm concernd once a person commits an offence that causes another harm I.E. Rape, Battery, Murder, ABH, GBH etc then they forego any Human Rights as they didn't afford their victim any.

I remember a case where a burglar tried to rob a factory by climbing in through a sky lite in the roof. He fell through said roof and claimed against the factory and won. That really grips my sh*t. He shouldn't have been on the roof in the first place so he gets nothing.

You live by the sword etc etc etc....
 
#52
cometcatcher said:
MOST of Australia's still an empty arid wasteland, isn't it?
You must really hate our Cousins down under . . . . .
 
#54
Every street corner in the UK should have a flagpole. Crims cemented face down would make good flag pole holders and a deterent to others.
Wonderful idea who would be first , T.Bliar.
 
#55
Darthspud said:
yes i know what's your next argument
'What about the innocent wrongly accused/convicted'?

easy

1)Those wrongly convicted of non-capital crimes
Personal apology (to be publicly broadcast ) from PM of the day and wad of compensation.
2)Wrongly accused ...
Hmm....
again IMHO,
3)For those accused (wrongly)of 'crimes against a person'(rape-violence )
the accuser gets the punishment

For those convicted of 'non-personal crimes'(theft-embezzlement-nicking the lead off the church roof types)
See point 1)

Oh and as a by the by
If someone is accused of RAPE then no details are made public UNTIL the decision is reached.
if acquitted then point 3) applies



again IMHO
this might stop certain segments of the population crying RAPE when they get drunk and need an excuse


ON the other hand
ALL proven/convicted Rapists get a good piece of Hemp rope and a short drop
see you managed to avoid those "wrongly convicted of a capital crime and are now worm food".

Apologies and a wad of tax payers cash are not a whole lot to use to them.
 
#56
As the Army is a bit strapped for cash, why don't we use sex offenders for a cheap moving target range?saves on new targets and stickers! Or we could let them loose on a training area and use them for live firing on a CQB range? saves on targets and could make training more fun!! and it saves money on locking them up it just win win all round :D
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#57
The new Sec of State for Justice, (hahbloodyhah) Lord "I'm a mate of Tony's " Falconer announced that rapists and murderers - amongst other crims- who re-offend, should be given more lenient sentences, and that too many 'acquisitive criminals! (New Labour speak for burglars,car thieves and muggers) should be given community based sentences.
This will certainly make more room in our prisons for those who richly deserve to be locked up. I speak of those dastardly types who parasitically cling on by dint of benefites after they have selfishly worked their entire life, usually for a pittance, and now refuse to die, but even worse; default on council tax payments, because they needlessly waste tha money on luxuries, such as food.
They are the ones that should be incarcerated.
 
#58
Start by bringing back good old fashioned discipline. especially in schools. bring back the cane. approved schools, the birch and the cat of nine tails for repeat offenders ie thieves muggers etc. Hang child molesters, murderers, rapists and those brave individuals who batter old people for a few quid. Drastic you may say but i think molesting kids for pleasure is a bit "DRASTIC" HANG THE BARSTERDS. A good thrashing with the birch or cat might make a few of these so called hard men gangsta,s think twice about doing the crime again. Oh same punishment for women as for men, well they want equality .Am i a nasty bastard YES when it comes to scrotes ruining my country.Foreign criminals if not hanged then deportation after served time.and prisons should be hard labour.
 
#59
spitlock said:
Sorry if this has already been mentioned,

Does anyone remember the timeless classic (haha) The Running Man with good old Arnie? for anyone who doesn,t, its simply a gameshow where the contestants played by murderers, rapists etc, have to run through 4 different zones to freedom, but the pursued by assasins and CCTV the entire time and it televised, can you imagine that on Grandstand, you could even get Chris Kamara to do the commentry,
Just like Takeshi's Castle then, where Japanese convicts get mutilated in an effort to gain amnesty for their crimes.

What? They're not convicts? And they're doing it to win a prize?

Can't be. Nobody's ever won, have they?
 

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