How to stop terrorism in one easy move

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by 570mils, Sep 20, 2006.

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  1. It is highly unusual for me to agree with the Septic way of business but for once I have to agree:

    HOW TO STOP ISLAMIC TERRORISTS . . . it worked once in our History . . .

    Once in US history an episode of Islamic terrorism was very quickly stopped. It happened in the Philippines about 1911, when Gen. John J. Pershing was in command of the garrison. There had been numerous Islamic terrorist attacks, so "Black Jack" told his boys to catch the perps and teach them a lesson.

    Forced to dig their own graves, the terrorists were all tied to posts, execution style. The US soldiers then brought in pigs and slaughtered them, rubbing their bullets in the blood and fat. Thus, the terrorists were terrorized; they saw that they would be contaminated with hogs' blood. This would mean that they could not enter Heaven, even if they died as terrorist martyrs.

    All but one was shot, their bodies dumped into the grave, and the hog guts dumped atop the bodies. The lone survivor was allowed to escape back to the terrorist camp and tell his brethren what happened to the others. This brought a stop to terrorism in the Philippines for the next 50 years.

    Pointing a gun into the face of Islamic terrorists won't make them flinch. They welcome the chance to die for Allah. Like Gen. Pershing, we must show them that they won't get to Muslim heaven (which they believe has an endless supply of virgins) but instead will die with the hated pigs of the devil.

    If it worked then why not now?

    Or the other option available to safeguard air travel these days:

    An Israeli friend recently informed me that the UK fought the Islamic terrorist attacks by burying the criminals with a pig. Apparently the Islamic belief is that if ones' body is buried with a pig (because they are considered unclean) their soul will go to hell. I did a little research into this subject matter and found it to be true. This got me thinking.

    If we put a baby pig on every airline flight then all suicide terrorists would abort their missions as they would not want their souls to go to hell. Additionally, if we drop shipped, oh say, 100,000 pigs into Afghanistan I think our recon and assault efforts may be more successful. Apparently Muslims dislike the very sight of pigs A LOT!

    They are also adamantly opposed to alcohol, thus we spike their water supply with a few thousand gallons of moonshine, get them drunk and turn the pigs loose. The war would be over in a weekend.

    If only it were that simple.

    These comments may be old hat but I just wandered what others thought to these options, should I be writing as 'Angry and frightened of London' to our favourite man Mr Bliar insisting this now become policy?
  2. I have been told that certain units in Iraq have "let slip" stories along these lines!!
  3. "If we put a baby pig on every airline flight then all suicide terrorists would abort their missions as they would not want their souls to go to hell."

    Yeah, pigs might fly.

    I'll get me coat.
  4. F8Ck Jamie Oliver and force feed their kids Bacon sarnies and Pork Scratchings at school.
  5. I heard a while ago that the Isreali goverment had taken to having blocks of lard on buses, as then when the bloke decided he was going to take out a load of inocent women and children, that the body would come into contact with the to55er and no virgins for him! I can not remember where I heard it so i can be sure of the truth.
  6. And a further addition with a Septic leading the way:

    In a recent interview, General Norman Schwartzkopf was asked if he didn't think there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.

    His answer was classic Schwartzkopf. He said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function. Our job is simply to arrange the meeting."

    Am I feeling alright but I seem to be gettting all warm and fuzzy of the yanks these days.........
  7. Yep - I remember this being on the Beeb. It was bags of liquidised pig fat.

    However, within a couple of days, Imams were shouting that dying in this manner was not haram, and the bombers would still go to paradise.
  8. Wasn't it a similar rumour, ie: brit bullets were greased with pig/cow fat, that upset several religous factions and started the Indian Mutiny?

    It appeals to me though, I say all squaddies on tour should chalk a little oinker on the side of their wagons to say, 'Mess with us and there will be no virgins for you sonny jim!' Aside from insulting all the mainly decent muslim folk, upsetting whole towns, starting riots and losing the battle for hearts and minds I can't see a down side.
  9. The stupidity of some yanks, never ceases to amaze me.

    Pershing story - urban myth.

    Pigs and Islam - Haram to eat them and that's about it. Burying a terrorist with a pig is not going to do anything to the soul of the dead terrorist. Nor is putting a pig on a plane.

    Alcohol - again Haram but what you do in your own home is between you and Allah and so in theory you could actually drink the stuff.
  10. Bull. They love a drink and regularly ask blokes on patrol if they're carrying booze.
  11. Life's just not that simple....

  12. Somewhere on the classified ads forum there is a thread about a bubble machine which can make bacon flavour bubbles.

    Is this the ultimate anti-riot weapon?

    After 11th September, some French journalists filmed Palestinians celebrating the attacks.

    Subsequently it was made known that they were actually celebrating being given sweets by the film crew.

    So the obvious solution is to carpet bomb them with Haribo, they'll be so happy, they won't have time for terrorism!
  13. I think there are slight differences between most Muslims and those fanatical enough to sit in a car loaded full of explosives and blow themselves up just to take you with them.

    Now maybe if we invited those fellas down the NAAFI bop and got em pished.....