How to spoil a ballot paper

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vampireuk, Apr 3, 2012.

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  1. So once again I have a poll card through the door and I am currently stumped for ideas of how to spoil my ballot come the 3rd of may. I'm thinking about just drawing a giant cock on it this time around, but any other suggestions would be most appreciated.

    Edit: unless the suggestion is to actually vote for a candidate, then you can fuck off. :)
  2. Fuck me, I'd sooner staple gun my actual cock to the thing.
  3. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    Hello Ed, how's your bruv?
  4. Shit on it?
  5. Why spoil yiour ballot when you could just save the effort of travelling to the polling station. If you have no interest in any of the mainstream parties why not register a "protest vote" with one of the loonatic fringe parties. They will never get elected but it might give the mainstream ones something to think about if the loonies get a bigger than expected share of the votes.
    • Like Like x 2
  6. How do you spoil your ballot paper; what a fucking disgraceful question.

    There are millions men and women all over the world that would give their lives to have a vote, and you treat your right ( won with the blood of others) with this grandstanding crap.

    I expect that you are the sort that will not eat everything on your plate but just leave it, without a thought for the starving picanininies, and other disadvantaged out there.

    Fucking disgraceful post, good job your not female, that would just make it worse; the picture of a fragrant young woman under a horse is almost too much to contemplate, but I don't expect you care, why should you, you ungrateful bastard.

    BTW are you, as well as being a total disgrace to Britain and the commonwealth of nations, totally lacking in imagination ?

    You eat the fucking card, then shit it out on the step of the polling station.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Before 10pm, mind.
  8. So what you are saying is, draw two cocks on it?
  9. You can't vote for Paddick and Livingstone.
  10. I suppose people want to spoil their vote because it doesn't seem to matter what party is voted in, the end result is always the same with lies, stealing, arse-fucking the country and its people, fiddling expenses, lies, having no interest in anything other than personal gain, lies, deceit and lies. It just depends which colour you vote for.

    If you choose not to vote then you can't complain about whoever's running the show as you did nothing to oppose them. If you vote A in and they fuck everything up, well, you voted them in, you twat. If you vote B and A get in then complain and stamp your foot because it would all be different under the other lying bastards. We're fucked whichever way so you might as well vote for whoever has the best tie, like when I pick horses by the pretty patterns on the jockey's jersey.

    Cocks are so last year, tits are the way forward unless the cock is meticulously detailed, points awarded for most lifelike and 3D in appearance.
  11. Well said Kilo :salut:

    If people took the time to to actually go out an vote then perhaps we wouldn't end up with bloody coalitions that no-one wants or needs (one party selling their policies down the river to jump into Govt with another party).

    So instead of spoiling your ballot paper why not go down and actually cast a vote even if it is for the monster raving looney party.
  12. Superglue talcum powder to it and write "warning Anthrax" on it?

    Superglue Anthrax to it and don't write anything?

    Soak it in Skunk (the animal not any form of illegal substance) spray and keep it inside a few plastic bags until just before you drop it in the box?

    Copy some of the more extreme hadiths from the quran on to it and wait and see if you come under surviellance from anti terrorist squads/get signed up by the local mosque.
  13. You do realise a spoilt ballot paper is counted as a cast vote, or are we frothing at the mouth with outrage over something we don't quite understand, as is the tradition on ARRSE.
  14. We can't allow reality to get in the way of a good frothing at the mouth, keyboard trashing, internet outrage. Remember, people died in wars and stuff so you would have the choice on how to spoil* your ballot paper.

    *In English, not German mind.
  15. Do you have a Respect Party candidate in your area?