How to run a fast BPFA (no drugs!!)

#1
What's do we reckon is faster:

a. Run like fcuk at the start, slow towards the end, collapse over line and puke on CSM's toecaps,

or

b. Start slowly, overtake all the biffs, "using you elbows" and dip for the line?
 
#2
Depend on the course really I usually start of at a medium pace overtake the slower guys and then run like hell for the last few hundred metres.
 
#3
DeadShag said:
What's do we reckon is faster:

a. Run like fcuk at the start, slow towards the end, collapse over line and puke on CSM's toecaps,

or

b. Start slowly, overtake all the biffs, "using you elbows" and dip for the line?
Why bother slowing down at the end??? Thought you wanted to run a fast BPFA!

CC_TA
 
#8
So is a BPFA the same as a BFT then? And do you still do them in boots these days? I've been out too long.
When I was in training, you had to do a CFT with a 432 your bergan and straight afterwards you had to take on the QMSI in a knife fight.
 
#9
the_rigger said:
When I was in training, you had to do a CFT with a 432 your bergan and straight afterwards you had to take on the QMSI in a knife fight.
Luxury!

We had to fill our boots with lead insoles, carry a fully laden aircraft carrier in a soaking wet large pack, then when finished had to fight three tigers with a blunt spoon, and wrestle the QMSI who was 'chuck norris' to the death only then did you pass your BFT
 
#10
Mighty_doh_nut said:
the_rigger said:
When I was in training, you had to do a CFT with a 432 your bergan and straight afterwards you had to take on the QMSI in a knife fight.
Luxury!

We had to fill our boots with lead insoles, carry a fully laden aircraft carrier in a soaking wet large pack, then when finished had to fight three tigers with a blunt spoon, and wrestle the QMSI who was 'chuck norris' to the death only then did you pass your BFT
Large pack? You wimps. We had to stuff a Centurion tank into a small pack (no straps allowed), wear divers boots and run backwards whilst wearing S6 and full 3 romeo. Then when you got over the line you had to chew your way through a pack of maruading wildebeest using issued teeth only, then take on QMSI Bruce Lee in hand to hand and if you managed to walk away after 3 minutes then you got a pass for that month.
 
#11
Well, fella. That was just to get through sutton coldfield, once you were in basic you had to piggy back a WRAC around the CFT course and give her 'O to completion' at the end. And this was no ordinary WRAC, this was one of the uber lesbotic tank transporter drivers from Rheindahlen. The kind of woman that would even look ropey in the Beruit pads quarters of Detmold. And you thought you had it bad!!!
 
#12
Rigger, that must be just the way of life in the homosexual Royal Signals.

My post was just what the recruiting Sgt at the ACIO had us doing. At sutton coldfield I had to do knees to the chest with a Deisel Submarine in my arms and a helmet with a divison of Gaurds marking time on its lid.

We had three Roman centurions flogging our naked backs and flicking trike on the wounds

This was just in the queue for the cookhouse (where we had to eat galvanised roofing nails, no custard)

I gobbed off (well asked if i could go to the toilet) and had both my legs hacked off at the knees by a Ghurka WO2........ and I still had a show parade showing bulled boots and positive attitude
 
#14
You are such a lucky lot. We're not allowed to do such things in the Light Blue. It would be unsightly and coarse to break into a sweat in such a way. Not really needed on the poolside patio either.
 
#15
Fastest APFA i ever did was when the CSM wedged a sirloin steak in my arrse cheeks and then set a 75Kg Rottweiler off in high speed pursuit of me.........

My army daps melted and i looked like a tramp when i came in over the line, projectile vomitting over the PTI stood at the end with his stopwatch.

10.28.........10.29...........10.30..............10.31 he bellowed as the Rottweiler gained on me.

When i passed the line, he told me my real time..... 8.16 cnut

The Rottweiler came in 8.21........ Close call
 
#16
ArmySurplusSpecial said:
Fastest APFA i ever did was when the CSM wedged a sirloin steak in my arrse cheeks and then set a 75Kg Rottweiler off in high speed pursuit of me.........

My army daps melted and i looked like a tramp when i came in over the line, projectile vomitting over the PTI stood at the end with his stopwatch.

10.28.........10.29...........10.30..............10.31 he bellowed as the Rottweiler gained on me.

When i passed the line, he told me my real time..... 8.16 cnut

The Rottweiler came in 8.21........ Close call
It was similar in Herford, except we had to fight the rottweiler afterwards, whilst the PTI's randomly set about you with flamethrowers.
 
#17
the_rigger said:
ArmySurplusSpecial said:
Fastest APFA i ever did was when the CSM wedged a sirloin steak in my arrse cheeks and then set a 75Kg Rottweiler off in high speed pursuit of me.........

My army daps melted and i looked like a tramp when i came in over the line, projectile vomitting over the PTI stood at the end with his stopwatch.

10.28.........10.29...........10.30..............10.31 he bellowed as the Rottweiler gained on me.

When i passed the line, he told me my real time..... 8.16 cnut

The Rottweiler came in 8.21........ Close call
It was similar in Herford, except we had to fight the rottweiler afterwards, whilst the PTI's randomly set about you with flamethrowers.
Couldnt they have just put the steaks on the BBQ the rotten barstewards??!
 
#18
... well in my unit we have to sprint ours running backwards. Naked. And oiled.


... actually this is lie - but is it wrong to want to do it that way?
 
#19
what's a BPFA??

What is RUNNING

All new words to this callsign..

Can the Army not adopt an annual "mooching" test. Just casually mooch from one place to another..in 3 ranks if that kind of thing flicks your switch.

By the centre slow mooch etc etc...

Shoite I'm lazier now than when I was "IN"
 
#20
I feel that there is some exaggeration going on in this thread. Having joined the Signals 5 minutes before the Rigger, I can confirm that by the time he joined, standards had slipped and they had it quite easy.

On my first BFT we had to wear braces on our PT Kit which were attached to an anvil (starred item) by means of bungees. Having managed to lose my braces 43 seconds after they were issued, the bungees were attached directly to my body by inserting the hooks around my collar bones then crimping them shut. When the whistle went, overcoming the initial inertia was pretty tricky and it was common for runners to make it the 100m to the first bend before the anvils started moving.

Whilst running round the footy pitches, you were in a big heap of sh-it if your anvil cut a corner. Offenders would be stopped and made to baby carry a top box the rest of the way. Any more cheating and the top box would be filled with Gurkhas.

Runners had 9:30 to get round the course. Allowances for age were catered for in the adjustment of the weight pulled. Anyone over 30 could have the anvil replaced with a pair of WRAC's (unsoiled) knickers. Although much lighter, the dragster-baffle affect of these regulation size apple-catchers could really slow you down.

The fastest time ever recorded BFT (A) was 7.18 by Sig Barney Macphee who had just come off a 3 month stint in Colly followed by a 3 week bender in Carlisle resulting in a complete innoculation from pain.

The slowest time ever recorded was 43:15 by a Corporal Angus Monte-Carlo (RP) a man so short and fat, that he had earned the nickname "Jumbelina". He had been forced from the guardroom with tazers. His time when measured on a chart showed that he was less fit than a fourteen year old corpse.
 

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