How To Resign

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Timshel, Sep 20, 2010.

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  1. So, I'm sat in my office, waiting for my boss to sit still at his desk long enough for me to tell him I'm quitting. He's a Jehovas witness and is really against the Army for some absurd reason.

    Anyway, being not much older than the Pope's last victim, I've never had the pleasure of formally resigning (my last place got about minus 5 minutes notice that I wasn't coming in as I'd been offered a new job), and have no idea how to play it. I don't want him to cry (or celebrate), and I see no need to offend him.

    What do I do, oh intelligent residents of the NAAFI Bar? (Definitely the best place to seek professional advice)

    Things I've looked into and can't do: Shoot him, gas him (You have to cut their heads off and put a stake in their hearts to kill JWs), kick him in the bollocks, sleep with his daughter.
  2. Wait for him to come to your door with leaflets, and greet him wearing fishnet suspenders, stilettos, nipple tassles, and a beret. :D
  3. That's how I got the job in the first place! ;)
    They clearly don't practise what they preech!
  4. Just kill him. Easy peasy. Then do a runner. Coppers are shite and will never find you.

    Oh, and post the photos here, be a mate.
  5. Is his daughter ugly or something?
  6. Leave a jizz trail that forms the words 'I QUIT' on his desk and hightail it out the door.
  7. Why not?

    And is that "Can't do" or "Won't do"?

    Shag him. Kick his daughter in the (ahem) bollocks. Sue for unfair dismissal.
  8. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    I thought that "Can't means Won't, and Won't means Jail" - A great start to your new career.

    Just give him a letter explaining that you are moving to bigger and better things in a months time.

    Then shag his dog and crap on his desk.
  9. His daughter's not my type of lass I'm afraid gents. I'm not doing it to myself. I've already betrayed myself too much this last weekend.

    Still not given it to him... Perhaps I should just kill him?

    Is it even illegal to kill Jehovas Witness Heretics?
  10. Don't turn up and never phone him again. It always works with women. It's the only way you'll get true respect.
  11. Why not just mention that you need a quick word when you see him and put on a serious face.

    The way I tend to do this is with a 'won't burn bridges unless you make me' approach - where I say to them that I'm sorry to be doing it, but I think it's probably for the best, and then just hand notice in.

    That said, I wrote out a really nice email for my current boss, which thanked him etc, and he was a total cock about the whole thing, so be prepared to get stroppy if the guy acts like a spoiled little girl. (Like mine did).
  12. FSN, why are you posting sensible advice like that in here?
    Ha, I kid... I think you're right, that's how I'm going to play it... Try to be nice seeing as my Dad is a consultant for him too. I don't want to make it awkward for my dad, seeing as he's just started his business.
  13. Depending on what boss is like, be prepared to be told to leave the building straight away, i.e. take appropriate precautions (removal of anything incriminating, securing of any personal items/data you intend to take with you).

    Was glad I did this before resigning from my previous job, as I was told a) we'll pay you till the end of the month and b) don't bother coming back.
  14. That would suit me fine Flaggie as it would mean not having to renew my train pass, and my wage transfer has just been sent (so will arrive tomorrow)... I'd be £150 better off!
  15. Tim a polite letter of resignation will suffice. Now onto the more important sentence above...betrayed yourself too much this last weekend...naafi stuff...spill?