How to pull. (Guys take note)

#1
I recieved this message on FP, and it made me chuckle, so for the benefit of Desktop and all the other guys struggling to find a female (well at least one with a pulse) a bit of humour goes a long way.





"If your looking to find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep, who kisses your forehead when your feeling down, who wants to show you off to the world when you're having a bad hair day, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is, then I truly hope you find him. However while your waiting for him to appear why don't you pop over to my profile and chat to an idiot like me ! ! ! ! !"


Oh and for the record, no i wont be going out with him...

Anymore anyone?
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#2
Ah, lovely lady. I would hold open doors, walk on outside of pavement, hold your hand, send flowers, even lay a coat on puddles, just for you.

And ask for no reward, other than a wan smile, and a fond glance.
 
#3
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Ah, lovely lady. I would hold open doors, walk on outside of pavement, hold your hand, send flowers, even lay a coat on puddles, just for you.

And ask for no reward, other than a wan smile, and a fond glance.
and a blowjob??? :D
 
#4
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Ah, lovely lady. I would hold open doors, walk on outside of pavement, hold your hand, send flowers, even lay a coat on puddles, just for you.

And ask for no reward, other than a wan smile, and a fond glance and the opportunity to kick your back doors in.
:wink:
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#6
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Ah, lovely lady. I would hold open doors, (Only because the effort of pushing it open has forced you to lean on it to catch your breath) walk on outside of pavement, (so that your Zimmer Frame doesn't get caught in the gratings over the basement windows) hold your hand, (To stop her walking too fast for you) send flowers, (The ones sent early for your own funeral) even lay a coat on puddles, (Dropping it because it is too heavy doesn't count) just for you.

And ask for no reward, other than a wan smile, (a promise to nurse me when I cant' get up to go to the toilet), and a fond glance.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#7
Tut tut. Such philistines these chaps are. Ignore the rough boys, don't play with them.

Let me take you away from all that coarseness, and ensconce you in my luxury apartment, where I would spoil you and pamper you.
Bathe your body in sensual oils and unguents.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#8
Dear legs! Such a card.

Be sure to open the box that will shortly be delivered. Don't bother to call Felix or anyone. Just rip it open with careless abandon.
 
#9
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Tut tut. Such philistines these chaps are. Ignore the rough boys, don't play with them.

Let me take you away from all that coarseness, and ensconce you in my luxury apartment, where I would spoil you and pamper you.
Bathe your body in sensual oils and unguents.-Rohypnol
 
#11
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Ah, lovely lady. I would hold open doors, walk on outside of pavement, hold your hand, send flowers, even lay a coat on puddles, just for you.

And ask for no reward, other than a wan smile, and a fond glance.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Forget the coat!!!We like getting wet :wink:
 
#12
The point was to show that humour, can be attractive, sometimes more than looks, and that the way to win a woman is not always by being good looking. Take Woody Allen for example, ugly as sin but had beautiful women dropping at his feet....why humour...
 
#13
scotlass said:
The point was to show that humour, can be attractive, sometimes more than looks, and that the way to win a woman is not always by being good looking. Take Woody Allen for example, ugly as sin but had beautiful women dropping at his feet....why humour...
I think wiping your cock on the curtains and stealing the Sky remote on your way out the door is the ultimate form of affection...
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#14
scotlass said:
The point was to show that humour, can be attractive, sometimes more than looks, and that the way to win a woman is not always by being good looking. Take Woody Allen for example, ugly as sin but had beautiful women dropping at his feet....why humour...
It should work for me then. Women have been known to point at me in street and laugh as I walk by.
 
#15
Worst of the drivel removed.. resisting the temptation to put the thread in the Hole where it probably belongs.

Now carry on and see if you can play nicely.
 
#16
scotlass said:
The point was to show that humour, can be attractive, sometimes more than looks, and that the way to win a woman is not always by being good looking. Take Woody Allen for example, ugly as sin but had beautiful women dropping at his feet....why humour...
I have women dropping at my feet too... a Morris Minor starting handle across their heads is merely my way of showing affection.

Praise the Lord for my little "Romantic Abnormality!"
 
#17
scaryspice said:
Worst of the drivel removed.. resisting the temptation to put the thread in the Hole where it probably belongs.

Now carry on and see if you can play nicely.
You're no fun.

I was only warning the other posters that Scotlass is gopping.
 
#18
scotlass said:
The point was to show that humour, can be attractive, sometimes more than looks, and that the way to win a woman is not always by being good looking. Take Woody Allen for example, ugly as sin but had beautiful women dropping at his feet....why humour...

so is Bernie Ecclestone but the money goes a long way.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#19
Humour is a wonderful tool to use with women. They have often laughed at my tool.
 
#20
scotlass said:
The point was to show that humour, can be attractive, sometimes more than looks, and that the way to win a woman is not always by being good looking. Take Woody Allen for example, ugly as sin but had beautiful women dropping at his feet....why humour...
To blatantly rip off a comedian I once heard.

Women are always saying this, sense of humour is the No1 thing they look for in a bloke.

Bollocks.

Be truthful now.

You walk into a bar and there is Ken Dod having a drink with Brad Pit.
Who has the better chance of getting some?
 

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