how to pick up a man in 10 steps

[ooooh_matron]

Jebem ti mamu.

 

[lyrabelacqua]

Jebem ti mamu.

Hahahaha!!!!

 

[eodmatt]

Isn't a Number 14 something to do with the Menu choice for you over there?

Just had a look - its stewed pork with lemon grass and rice.

 

[joey_deacons_lad]

Thread reassurect alert!

What a load of unnecessary tripe! A bird just needs to let a man know she's up for it and hey presto.
Now here is my advice for ladies wanting to keep their man happy. The three s system.

Suck.
Swallow.
Send him the pub.
Repeat 3/4 times a week and you will never have to worry about him straying.

 

[llech]

Thread reassurect alert!

What a load of unnecessary tripe! A bird just needs to let a man know she's up for it and hey presto.
Now here is my advice for ladies wanting to keep their man happy. The three s system.

Suck.
Swallow.
Send him the pub.
Repeat 3/4 times a week and you will never have to worry about him straying.

Post # 34!

 

[WolvoExPunk]

What if a woman looks like Diane Abbott, Cherie Blair or Ann Widdecombe? None of this will work on anybody I know now matter how pissed or desperate. They'll run a mile if someone as hideous as that whispers, "I want you."

 

[Skunkmiester]

1. When he says 'get in the van'....get in the ******* van!
2. When he asks you if you are a Size 14, always answer Yes.
3. When he asks you to apply lotion to your skin, do so, he is only caring about your appearance.

 

[joey_deacons_lad]

Post # 34!

Are you subscribed to this thread? Or lurking hoping some desperate slapper starts posting?

 

[llech]

Are you subscribed to this thread? Or lurking hoping some desperate slapper starts posting?

Meh, little of column A, little of column B.

 

[Chuffit]

Where the **** does Chuffit come into this?

I start a thread on how desperate, unloved, unhumped, unwanted girls can get a guy to shag them and suddenly Chuffit is central to the plot?

Is Chuffit some sort of male gigalo, shagging bloaters to order?

Whaaa?
Never mind the Chuff. I wasn't even here, never mind there.
Although in fairness, I did wakeup with some 'kin-awful-looking horrors in my time. Names like Blackfoot-Sue and Ursula-Underneath.....
I'm sure you've all heard the tale about Ursula and how a squaddie she was eying-up across from the bar just happened to be so shit-faced he fell off his stool, face-down, and Ursula, not being the sort to let a squaddie with a pulse and the price of an Asbach-und-Cola escape her, was under him before he hit the ground, yes?
Well that squaddie might well have been me one time. She was a specialist, after-all.
I remember being woken up once in a pad full of German, ummmm, 'women of the night.' Well, women of the afternoon actually... Anyway, fuggiit.

Bumhole and Chuffit, sitting in a tree,
K...I...S...S...I...N...G
First comes love,
then comes marriage,
then comes baby
in a baby carriage

Let us all know when you book the church...

I fear a Mosque might just be considered a little bit too over-the-top?

Or not?

@bumhole

 

[Bladesman]

Just get me drink. Depending on the time* and location**, that would be a pint of bitter, a large brandy or the juice from your furry cup.

* The 1960's
**Any form of public transport with a bar.

 

[sidneyaloysius]

What if a woman looks like Diane Abbott, Cherie Blair or Ann Widdecombe? None of this will work on anybody I know now matter how pissed or desperate. They'll run a mile if someone as hideous as that whispers, "I want you."

I wouldn't. Let em do their very worst.

 

[NotFredPerry]

Gentleman don' forget she is a player, so a pack of extra strong thick durex is a must against an STD.
She might like it up the pooper so some durex lube work's well don't use lubricating grease from MT!