How to pass P-Coy?

I’m off to do p-company this summer, as I’m not currently in the Regular Army so I’m not doing a beat up. Does any one have any top tips, to prepare me.
join the REME get yer fullscrew up then you go straight into the officers mess!
Ensure you go out for a 10 mile tab, but remember to spread it out over 4 weekends with a 5 day recovery period in between each one. At the conclusion of this go to your local pub and tell your mates how you've just killed half the Republican Guard (on your own) whilst wearing a SASS smock and zips in your Lowa boots.
Develop a taste for drinking vomit from your boot, and licking poo freckles off your top lip.
Shave your hair grow a tache and sidies, and buy the tightest maroon t-shirt you can find, light blue pair of jeans and a set of desert wellies and your all set.

Could also buy a barbour jacket for the finishing touch!!
I'll bet your glad u asked!

Crap hat wearer and proud!!!!
Go to and look up the free routines, particularly the one titled "Couch to 5K". It won't give you the level you need to pass P Company, but it is at least a start.

Alternatively, search for BUD/s Warning Order in Google to sample the Navy SEALs preparation routine.
or you could do what CPL XXXXXX did near newcastle, before you present your work ticket in the service station, pour 50 litres on to the forecourt to build up your air-miles .


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