How to pass P-Coy?

I’m off to do p-company this summer, as I’m not currently in the Regular Army so I’m not doing a beat up. Does any one have any top tips, to prepare me.
Ensure you go out for a 10 mile tab, but remember to spread it out over 4 weekends with a 5 day recovery period in between each one. At the conclusion of this go to your local pub and tell your mates how you've just killed half the Republican Guard (on your own) whilst wearing a SASS smock and zips in your Lowa boots.
Shave your hair grow a tache and sidies, and buy the tightest maroon t-shirt you can find, light blue pair of jeans and a set of desert wellies and your all set.

Could also buy a barbour jacket for the finishing touch!!
or you could do what CPL XXXXXX did near newcastle, before you present your work ticket in the service station, pour 50 litres on to the forecourt to build up your air-miles .


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