How To P*ss Off an American [ one way at least ]

#1
Nothing the Yanks like better than talking up their country as best ,etc., etc., so tricking them with their own history [ especially after a few beers ] with a bit of arcane bar trivia, can push their buttons really easily..

Here's one that gets them muttering in their glasses..and coughing up for a round [ if they're good sports ] or prepping for fisticuffs [ if not ]

" How many States are in the Union ? "
Expect them to claim " 50 "
but, in reality, there are only 46...

Kentucky, Massachusetts, Virginia, and Pennsylvania are Commonwealths
 
#3
DC doesn't count in the States Count - it is a separate administrative entity
 
#5
Rocketeer said:
Nothing the Yanks like better than talking up their country as best ,etc., etc., so tricking them with their own history [ especially after a few beers ] with a bit of arcane bar trivia, can push their buttons really easily..

Here's one that gets them muttering in their glasses..and coughing up for a round [ if they're good sports ] or prepping for fisticuffs [ if not ]

" How many States are in the Union ? "
Expect them to claim " 50 "
but, in reality, there are only 46...

Kentucky, Massachusetts, Virginia, and Pennsylvania are Commonwealths
I live in one of them there Commonwealths. The term's really nothing more than an affectation anymore.

Here's another one that stumps everyone; What state has the longest name? Rhode Island, officially named 'The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations'.

You forgot Canada by the way.

"I don't even know what street Canada is on."
-Al Capone
 
#6
wouldn't mistaking the Americans for Canadians wind them up or even as Australians :D
 
#8
Rocketeer said:
DC doesn't count in the States Count - it is a separate administrative entity
I do like the car license plates some DC residents have. Beath the reg number there is the slogan- "Disctrict of Columbia- Taxation Without Representation". :D
 
#9
54 parts? all those cannadians sound the same to me.
 
#10
crabtastic said:
Rocketeer said:
DC doesn't count in the States Count - it is a separate administrative entity
I do like the car license plates some DC residents have. Beath the reg number there is the slogan- "Disctrict of Columbia- Taxation Without Representation". :D
It's not even the 'issued' plate, you have to pay $10 extra for them. The last thing the Republicans want is two more Democratic Senators, so there is the capital of democracy with only nonvoting reps.
 
#12
Try discussing gun law with them - what a laugh!

They usually come up with some crp about "right to bear arms" etc from the constitution however just quiz them on the real reason for this (which, when written by Madison was to ensure a solid militia against the British) and they go wacko.

then ask them the legal age of booze Vs gun law (21 vs 18yrs)

Great fun - done it loads of times
 
#13
For my sins, I ended up at an Independance day celebration in Dallas a few years back. As the beer flowed and tounges obviously loosened and the topic of conversation moved to the War of Independance and the fantastic arse kicking they gave us......So B2N sits back and amongst all of the hi-fives and cheers swigs his beer in anticipation.......

"OK fair one" I say, "we we're the superpower of the time, a Great Empire being built, vastly superior forces, training, technology etc......and thousands of miles from home....in our defence though we we're fighting Napoleon"..

So the Yanks think they have me, I'm on the ropes as they say.

Another long drag of my beer and I say, "well if that the case, please explain Vietnam and you weren't fighting anyone else either."

TAKE COVER - nearly got shot.
 
#14
bullshit said:
They usually come up with some crp about "right to bear arms" etc from the constitution however just quiz them on the real reason for this (which, when written by Madison was to ensure a solid militia against the British) and they go wacko.
Well, that and also a further idea was to prevent a government from oppressing its people without a fight. I believe last time people took up arms with reason against their government in the US was 1946 or so, when a corrupt sherrif repeatedly rigged elections and the central government in Washington for some reason didn't seem interested in investigating. A gun battle ensued, the Sherrif run out of town, and the properly elected officers put in place.

You also have the practical issue of living in a country with lots of furry/scaly critters with sharp pointy teeth.

NTM
 
#15
Here's one that worked in the 70's and could be adapted to present day I'm sure.
A visiting US carrier to Plymouth disgorged its crew to the delights of Union Street and beyond. Cue 40, 42, 59 & 29 Cdos hitting the streets looking for fun. In the pub known as the "Dodgy Oppos" ("Two Companions" in civspeak), one of the sqn let's slip quietly that "his uncle had been killed at Pearl Harbour". Lots of whoops, high fives etc, and shit load of free beers all night from assembled Spams.
Eventually bored with this, the protagonist finally proposes a toast (more free drinks to top glasses up)....

"Gentlemen, cousins-in-arms, raise a glass in glorious memory - I give you my uncle, the best Zero pilot in the Japanese Navy - Lt Cdr Kirowara Takaneshi!"
All Brits at this point make like serious swastikas out the door.

Try it. You'll like it.

Edited/Red inked for clarity or something
 
#17
Here's one that will get a chuckle:
"Where's East virgina?"

And a good one, might not work these days though:
Get onto the subject of the french, and how the americans are trying to distance/remove themselves from the frogs. The whole French/freedom fries thing is a good opening.

Then ask when they're going to blow up the statue of liberty...
 
#18
Ive noticed they're confused by the question "Why do you call yourselves Americans?" They refer to the USA as America and when they do, I point out that both Canada and Mexico are also in (North )America, they're just not part the United States........... of America, thank God!

The point about pizzing them off by calling them Canadians would probably work but given that US backpackers who travel the world often stitch a Canadian flag on their back so as not to be spotted as Yanks lends another element to this question.

By the way did you know that the number of young men killed in (civvy) gunfights in the USA is now so high that it has influenced their demographic profile,making them an "older nation" than Canada for the first time?


"Damn the men, tell me about morale!"
 
#19
soutie said:
..
By the way did you know that the number of young men killed in (civvy) gunfights in the USA is now so high that it has influenced their demographic profile,making them an "older nation" than Canada for the first time?
Quite a load of crap you've dumped with that statement. For example murder rates in the U.S. were 17,638 (11,829 due to firearms discharge)--including victims of the WTC attack. Far too few in a nation of almost 300 million to effect demographics.
 
#20
bullshit said:
Try discussing gun law with them - what a laugh!

They usually come up with some crp about "right to bear arms" etc from the constitution however just quiz them on the real reason for this (which, when written by Madison was to ensure a solid militia against the British) and they go wacko.

then ask them the legal age of booze Vs gun law (21 vs 18yrs)

Great fun - done it loads of times
Y'all are just pissed because we foisted that old tart Madonna on you. Truth be told the strongest vestige of gun totting' ignoramous' is in the South. Having lived here for years I can attest it's white population is predominately made up of English and Scottish stock. Thanks for that.
 

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