How to open a champagne bottle with a sword. You Tube

BuggerAll

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#1
I just opened You Tube and this was on the opening page;

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ye28n_aJspA

Obviously its tongue in cheek - rather reminds me of the Sloan Rangers Handbook, but is this the way to do it?
 
#2
Don't know, never tried it.

But who is the gently corpulent Rupert Campbell Jones? Is he actually of the Highlanders as stated? Serving, retired or sacked?

Who is the "pretty young lady" mentioned in the video? That description does not seem to correspond with the woman depicted (I await confirmation of her status as "pretty", "young" and "lady").
 
#4
It's easy to do. It was shown on the F word. You don't actually take the cork out, but the whole top of the bottle.
 

BuggerAll

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#5
I also noticed that Rupert, a Higlander, was using a Cav sword, presumably he lacked the 'bottle' to use his own Broadsword.

Det Cord might be fun, but I doubt if there would be much bubbly left to drink - which is the object of the exercise.
 
#7
Ravers said:
Even more impressive when done with the base of a champagne glass.
B0llocks. A sword would be much better.

But even if you thought a champagne glass would be the ultimately brilliant, babe-pulling thing, how "rugged" would the champagne glass have to be? Not your average tescos value job, and certainly not your quality crystal. Champagne bottles are effing thick. I suggest your "rugged glass" would have to be more akin to a horses drinking trough than a Waterford Crystal.
 
#8
Coming up next - how to open a dictionary with a potato peeler and look up the correct way to spell "champagne"...
 
#10
This method is also much favoured by French aircrew at squadron p1ss ups and even formal mess functionns. Penalty for failure to properly behead the bottle is to yam sing a whole bottle of champagne!
 
#11
Remember seeing Kings troop officer doing it from horseback, at Earl's court...
 
#12
Ravers said:
It's called sabrage.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabrage

Even more impressive when done with the base of a champagne glass.
I watched the CO of the Belgian Regiment des Guides smash umpteen very expensive glasses trying to do that at a dinner night in Brussels a few years ago. One of the Belgian squadron leaders told me that the CO was the Belgian equivalent of the Duke of Westminster. The cost of replacing the expensive broken glasses would be added to the COs mess bill, and that he probably wouldn't even notice as his mess bill was usually paid by the CO's private secretary...

all right for some eh?

:roll: :roll: :roll:

Rodney2q

Oh yes, I managed to open my bottle with a sabre (just like in the video) - I've still got the cork with the glass around it somewhere...

:D
 
#13
PVR-Please said:
Does the technique work with bottles of Dortmunder Pils and a bayonet?
Don't see why it shouldn't, as long as the bottle is chilled or cold enough.

Of course you might need to practice a few times so I'd get a couple of crates in if I were you....

:D :D :D

Rodney2q
 
#14
Thats so cool! Now all I need is a case of vintage champagne and an antique sword!
 
#15
It'd be far more ally when done with a bottle of Lambrini, a chav sl*g on a park bench and the bottle opened with an erect penis.
 

BuggerAll

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#16
Drlligaf said:
This method is also much favoured by French aircrew at squadron p1ss ups and even formal mess functionns. Penalty for failure to properly behead the bottle is to yam sing a whole bottle of champagne!
Are you an 'old China hand' Drilligaf?
 

napier

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
#17
Of course there is aways some fool who forgets his arcs and ends up wounding a colleague's wife with the cork/glass as it shoots across the dinner table, resulting in stitches being administered to her forehead by the rather drunk RMO. :oops:

Fortunately said colleague, a former Welsh junior kickboxing champion, was away on ops at the time and he and his wife have subsequently forgiven the fool, who definitely wasn't me.
 
#18
From a mate of mine ( honest) who despite being an Infantry Officer, is considered an expert.

Women
This ought to be for the benefit of a group of young ladies. Sabrage is notorious for bringing forth that sometimes scary and frenzied female behaviour sporadically referred to in even quite recent historical texts. This was before modern Christianity and puritanical social norms overtook the last vestiges of the old tribal/pagan fertility feasts. Sabrage taps into this ancient and suppressed genetic programming of young ladies with much greater precision and elegance than simply getting untidy at a party. It combines with deadly efficacy to one of the basic and immutable laws of the universe "champagne makes girls dance and drop their pants" to produce spectacular results.

I have had several women confide in me that this law is in fact true - by way of providing reasoning for their behaviour - the best response is that it didn't bother me if it didn't bother them. The momentary stunned silence followed by a mischievous girly grin is a sure sign that they are looking forward to the next party. Girls do like to have fun and they absolutely adore someone who gives them an excuse to do so. They feel far more comfortable about doing it as a group so don't distress the young ladies by forcing them to do it all alone. Invite their friends as well - or better - be invited.

Quantity
Have the case on hand. You'll need it - for a proper party that is. 1.5 bottles per female is a safe ratio. Typically with a group of 4 - 5 young women with one male accomplice, so its not too obvious. Smart men will sip rather than drink. After a couple of demonstrations it is time to hand over the sword and champagne to the ladies and they will all want to have a go. You can be guaranteed that by the 4th bottle the girls will have completely and totally taken over the party - let them.

Safety vs Efficacy
On a more technical note I would like to comment that for all the time and effort spent on explaining safety in this clip it is largely unnecessary apart from maintaining a prudent vigilance. For the numerous bottles drunk in this fashion I have only ever seen blood once when someone (male) started drinking out of a bottle whose neck was a rough break and, of course, they cut their lip. Even then, it was healed by morning. I once heard of a bottle exploding and cutting a hand however this bottle had been knocking around under the seat of car prior to. So the advice on a 'relaxed' bottle is valid. No fatalities or even serious injury or side effects reported to date.

Operating temprature
Chilled is very important. Who wants to drink warm champagne anyway. Probably worth mentioning that modern glass manufacture is advancing and breakages are a cost to the manufacturer. So chilled is more important than ever before. It was easier in Napoleon's time. The only time I have failed is when provided with bottle that had been in the ice bucket for too long. I had a go anyway, my mistake. The failure to perform in front of a group of women has an equally inverse impact as the opposite. If it ever happens its best to forget about shagging and get over the embarassment by getting drunk with the blokes. A safe remedy when provided with a suspiciously warm bottle is to invert the bottle's neck in the ice bucket with ice and a bit of water for an hour before undertaking the demonstration.

Commitment
Back of the blade?!! Only if you are trying to spare your sword. Forget it. Heads are not cut off with the back of a sword! Women prefer to see the sharp end in use!Commit and live with the damage - if any, its minor. What are swordsmiths for in a modern world anyway. Perhaps don't use granddads family heirloom - keep a tidy hack blade handy for just such a purpose. Or nick a government issue from the mess. Mess bill was once charged a few dollars for re-plating the silver so its hardly the end of the world. What do you want?! Sex with beautiful women or a virgin blade - take your pick.

Clean Break
I could be accused of being pedantic here except the demonstration showed a rather 'rough break'. With modern glass and icebuckets it can happen. Except the ideal is a sweet clean break that is a nice uniform collar of glass - no untidy shattered glass edges. I am surprised the demo team put the item to air without a re-run to get a better example.

Glassware
This is where the use of the same glassware that perhaps Napoleon's officer's would have used. The champagne coupe was specially designed for champagne in England in 1663. I must emphasise it is rare to see a properly made champagne coupe as opposed to the Marguerite glasses. A proper champagne coupe will have a narrow and hollow stem that permit the effervescence to continue to sparkle for some time after serving. Although the modern flute is preferred for practical reasons coupes have it for style and flamboyance. They are in my opinion the first choice of glassware for sabrage and while an experienced sommelier may use his champagne knife to skilfully and efficiently remove the top with a minimum of spillage and pour this delicately into a flute this is a castration of the performance. This method of serving ought to be limited to middle aged couples in restaurants who are worried 'Serge the Sommelier' is going to spill some of their precious 'bolly' and they want to get their money's worth before they pay the bill.

In conclusion
Nay! The full swing with the front end of the blade and the girls leap forward with their wide open coupes to catch the champagne with a squeal of delight. Again and again until that immutable law of the universe takes effect!
 
#19
Hootch said:
Glassware
This is where the use of the same glassware that perhaps Napoleon's officer's would have used. The champagne coupe was specially designed for champagne in England in 1663. I must emphasise it is rare to see a properly made champagne coupe as opposed to the Marguerite glasses. A proper champagne coupe will have a narrow and hollow stem that permit the effervescence to continue to sparkle for some time after serving. Although the modern flute is preferred for practical reasons coupes have it for style and flamboyance. They are in my opinion the first choice of glassware for sabrage and while an experienced sommelier may use his champagne knife to skilfully and efficiently remove the top with a minimum of spillage and pour this delicately into a flute this is a castration of the performance. This method of serving ought to be limited to middle aged couples in restaurants who are worried 'Serge the Sommelier' is going to spill some of their precious 'bolly' and they want to get their money's worth before they pay the bill.
I was told the coupe was modeled on the shape Marie Antoinette's breasts but your version sounds much more plausible if less colourful.
 
#20
Used to do this "trick" quite often, the warning about broken glass is spot on, as I have reason to know.

Ended up in Sennelager MRS with a bloody bandage around my left hand at one in the morning, much ticking and whining from the nurses who had to attend to me, after I revealed how I had come about this injury.

It took me a few moments before I came to the realisation that the nurses were only interested in my hand injury and not in the last concerned about my left ankle that was at an angle not best suited to walking after having been launched from the Sgts Mess window

But that is another story and best told by others who were not there so can embroider it with out recourse to the truth.

So take care when using this technique it can result in serious injury and a month long incarceration at BMH Rinteln.
 

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