in january last year a week before my daughters birthday and the day after i was mobilised to go to iraq my partner of 5 years decided to split up with me. She had met someone else and "couldnt deal with me going through another tour in the middle east". So for the 6 weeks leading up to me leaving she led her life and me mine both of us trying to keep any sign of our differences from our beautiful daughter. i managed to keep a tight grip on my feelings until i left as i wanted to see as much of my little one as possible before i left as i wasn't so sure i would be coming back, at least coming back in one piece. I wanted as many memories as i could cram in to take with me and treasure. My "ex" constantly gave me a hard time and tried to make me leave what had been our home to make it easier for herself. I was adamant that as long as i was paying the bills i was staying. I then left and despite promises by her that she would stay in regular contact and send me loads of pics of my daughter. In the 7 months i spent in iraq i received 2 letters and no pictures. Having no contact with my child was the worst part of my time out there. i had even left my pc for her to use and paid for broadband so she didn't incur any additional costs. On my R+R i spent a brilliant 5 days in wales with my daughter and friends before returning back to the front line. i finished the tour despite having a few scrapes and returned back to the UK more or less intact. After a few hesitant few days my daughter treated me as if i hadn't been away. relations with me and my ex were strained and awkward. within a few weeks my ex had asked me to get back with her but though for her a long time had passed for me "real life" had been on pause. for me her actions and treatment of me were still fresh memories. I wasn't ready to go back and forgive what had happened so i said i needed time. i have supported her financially on a number of occasions since my return and have spent a lot of family days out with her and our daughter. I have spent a lot of time with her helping her with decisions she had to make and dealing with her problems. We were getting on quite well and she had remarked on how good it was we were friends again. She informed me earlier today that she was seeing someone and thought i should know. She said it has been almost 2 years since we were together. My question is this how do i move on from this? I haven't forgiven her for the way she destroyed our family and am afraid of losing my daughter. i am also terrified that another man who i don't know now has access to my daughter and i cant protect her. All my friends say fcuk her and move on but its not that easy. i know many people have been relationship breakdowns and have children. So how do i adapt to what has happened and how do i move on?