How to make Big Brother slightly more bearable.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by EL-PIMPO, Aug 29, 2007.

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  1. Being forced to watch this utter pish by the missus, i can only stare at the TV in total contempt at the f*ckwits parading around on the screen. I thought it was supposed to be even nastier this year? I've had nastier sh*ts.

    I would like to see the housemates suffer total sleep deprivation, bright lights on and white noise played at deafening volume during the night. So when they eventual leave the house they are totally confused and find it hard to fit into normal life outside.

    One housemate at random will be dragged away and beaten senseless when they enter the diary room, to make the others sh*t sacred to go in there.

    Russian style "knock-out gas" should be pumped into the house, so we can have a few days off from this mundane drivel ... or when there's any decent sport on the telly.

    They should be forced to live on ships biscuits and water for the duration of their stay. Every now and again a Mars bar will be given to a contestant secretly, when the said contestant scurries away to hide it, it's announced over the tannoy and planks with nails in it are issued.

    Only then will it be ever so slightly more bearable.
  2. Forget voting for eviction. Vote for execution. On a large scale. On the opening day of the series. The one who makes the most convincing, grovelling, piteous cries for mercy gets to die last. That's only fair. But the whole programme shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes, max. Do it during the adverts, even better.
  3. just don't watch it & spend more time posting sh1te on ARRSE. :D :D :D :D
  4. Forced???? Maybe your missus could get into the BB house to sort them out too :D
  5. I would have a pack of wolves hidden behind a false wall, then let them out when they fail a task.

    Also they should make the twins do a task and which ever one fails should be double tapped in the head while the other watches.

    They could follow the series up with a documentary on how she deals with her lifelong guilt.
  6. Lighter Fuel + matchbox= Eh voila, David Koresh-stylee. I'd turn over to watch it.
  7. Can we bezz.
  8. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Welcome brother *clicky*
  9. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    You should be so lucky, my missus is an Argy and I get to watch the crap in Spanish with them all whinging like girls.
  10. Only if you let carol give you a mexican bumwank.

  11. No Ta. I'll talk drivel to myself a while longer then.
  12. Put them all in a compression chamber, raise pressure to equivalent of lets say 20000ft and then smash the glass, last one to turn to pile of bloody mush wins.
  13. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Click the link Brother. My close personal associate BingDaDaBoomBattyBoy is expert in the grooming of luxuriant moustaches.
  14. How about some of the following "goodies"....




    and the finale.......NAPALM!!!!!

    (just to kill off the protect the innocent you understand)
  15. how the fuck did she get hold of the TV remote?
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