How to get a MC Job!

#1
How to get a McJob
This is a transcript of an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonalds fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!


NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA! But seriously, whatevers available. If I
was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first
place.

DESIRED SALARY: £185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style
severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility

SALARY: Less than i'm worth

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1.30-3.30pm, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would i be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do
you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECIEVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITIONS?: I may already be a
winner of the Readers Digest Prize Draw.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in teh Bahamas with a
fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks i'm the best thing since sliced
bread. Actually I'd like to be doing that now

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE REST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: No, but i dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising
 

Latest Threads

Top