How to get a MC Job!

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by dance_with_the_devil, Sep 3, 2006.

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  1. How to get a McJob
    This is a transcript of an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonalds fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!


    NAME: Greg Bulmash

    DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA! But seriously, whatevers available. If I
    was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first
    place.

    DESIRED SALARY: £185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style
    severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility

    SALARY: Less than i'm worth

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
    post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS: 1.30-3.30pm, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more
    intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would i be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP
    TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do
    you have a car that runs?'

    HAVE YOU RECIEVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITIONS?: I may already be a
    winner of the Readers Digest Prize Draw.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in teh Bahamas with a
    fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks i'm the best thing since sliced
    bread. Actually I'd like to be doing that now

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE REST OF YOUR
    KNOWLEDGE?: No, but i dare you to prove otherwise.

    SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising