How to deal with the end of the world

#1
Oi, Cybermen, fuck the fuck off, you fuckers.

 
#3
I feel sorry for the Daleks.

"Oi, Stephen fucking Hawking, take your fucking egg-whisk and get the fuck off this planet, and you can shove that fucking arse plunger up the wrinkled arsehole of that one-eyed crippled creator fucker of yours, Bobby fucking Davros".

 
#5
Who the fuck is that?

Did you see what I did there...
 
#7
It's the end of the world, there is no dealing with it. All you can do is decide how you want to spend your dying moment- sex would be the activity most men would chose although you might want to spend the apocalypse reading a good book by the fire. I suggest having Sky News on in the background so you can get regular updates on The End of Days from Kay Burley.
 
#8
You just need one of these.

Antenna_Head.jpg
 
#9
It's the end of the world, there is no dealing with it. All you can do is decide how you want to spend your dying moment- sex would be the activity most men would chose although you might want to spend the apocalypse reading a good book by the fire. I suggest having Sky News on in the background so you can get regular updates on The End of Days from Kay Burley.
Too late to start cramming for your finals

 
#10
It's not that big a deal. Shakey again:

KING HENRY IV
O God! that one might read the book of fate,
And see the revolution of the times
Make mountains level, and the continent,
Weary of solid firmness, melt itself
Into the sea! and, other times, to see
The beachy girdle of the ocean
Too wide for Neptune's hips; how chances mock,
And changes fill the cup of alteration
With divers liquors! O, if this were seen,
The happiest youth, viewing his progress through,
What perils past, what crosses to ensue,
Would shut the book, and sit him down and die.
 
#11
It's the end of the world, there is no dealing with it. All you can do is decide how you want to spend your dying moment- sex would be the activity most men would chose although you might want to spend the apocalypse reading a good book by the fire. I suggest having Sky News on in the background so you can get regular updates on The End of Days from Kay Burley.
I'd deal with it the same way I deal with every other serious problem in my life - get fucking hammered.

Hopefully be up to the nuts as the lights go out.
 
#12
The thing is, in a real sense we are all Gods! When the Bible says 'God created the light', it was right - we create light in our brains. Electromagnetic waves enters our eyes and our brains create the light from these waves (it takes place somewhere near the rear of the brain). Light only exists in our heads; we are the Creators of our own experience; we even make the Sun shine.

When I die, my world will end and when you die, yours will too.

Is that too philosophical for the Naafi?
 
#13
Have I missed something?
 

Attachments

#14
Robert Mugabe declares himself the new Doctor Who

With all the votes counted in Zimbabwe’s general election, officials have today confirmed that President Robert Mugabe has been elected as the new Doctor Who. The 89-year-old will be unveiled live on BBC1 on Sunday night, along with his assistant Morgan Tsvangirai, and will take up the role in December when the current Doctor’s term of office comes to an end.

‘This is a splendid victory for our glorious President,’ said a Zanu-PF spokesman. ‘He deserves to become a Time Lord – no one has done more to turn back time and rewrite history in Zimbabwe than our great leader. He is the people’s choice and has an outstanding record in facing up to those white cybermen.’

The announcement ends months of speculation as to who will be replacing the incumbent Matt Smith. Mr Mugabe emerged as the frontrunner in the last fortnight after a number of other contenders were ruled out: Edward Snowden because of travel commitments, Nelson Mandela due to health issues and James Corden due to decades of vote rigging and sustained human rights abuses.

However, both bookmakers and the Electoral Commission have expressed surprise at Mugabe’s appointment, especially given that the iconic sci-fi role was not on any ballot paper. ‘The whole casting process was seriously comprised,’ said one observer from Equity. ‘Peter Capaldi and the one who played Rupert Grint in Harry Potter both tried to put their names forward but they were turned away by Mugabe’s henchmen.’

But Olusegun Obasanjo, Head of the African Union observers, declared the election ‘free, honest and credible – or at least in comparison to the commissioning process for most BBC programmes.’ And Steven Moffat, executive producer, confirmed that he was in no way swayed in his choice by the dozen masked and armed strangers who have been camped in his garden for the last month.

It is thought that many of the new Doctor’s adventures will feature his famous arch-enemy, the Daleks. They are said to be furious to learn that Mugabe has the same catchphrase as them and that for years every time someone has contradicted him he shouts ‘Exterminate!’
 
#15
Lardbeast, whoever you nicked that off has won the Internet!
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
#16
It's the end of the world, there is no dealing with it. All you can do is decide how you want to spend your dying moment- sex would be the activity most men would chose although you might want to spend the apocalypse reading a good book by the fire. I suggest having Sky News on so that you can end the world having sex like all the other blokes with your hand hand to the image of Kay Burley.
Fixed, etc
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top