How to deal with my son

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Dogfaces_Dad, Jun 5, 2006.

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  1. I have the misfortune of being the father of one of the most irritating wastes of skin ever to walk this fine earth and would dearly love to silence him once and for all. My problem is this; he has armed himself with enough small arms to equip a small army so any attempt I make to keep him quiet may well be met with a hail of bullets. Is there any way to get him to shut up without endangering those around him.

    Please help

    Concerned father.
  2. Mmmmm, is the place he's shacked up remote? By those around him do you mean folk who are not completely innocent/expendable?

    If the answer to both is 'YES', then you need an air-strike........................ Pop over to the RAF's ARRSE equivalent for more details....
  3. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Call the police and inform them there's a Brazilian without a visa!

    edited for spelling like a mong
  4. Crabair? Only if you need the problem resolved between 9:30 in the morning and 16:30, weekdays only, if the weather is fine and there's nothing on the TV.

    Otherwise call the Gunners.

    A variety of Fire plans are available, to suit all pockets. May we suggest the following might be appropriate?

    This file was blocking downloads MIB
  5. Soz bunny, I thought you lot were all away on AT or some such stuff......
  6. Poison his tea, coffee or alternate beverage of choice.

    May I recommend stricnine, or, if feeling flush, the cutaneous excretions of certain sarf american frogs.

    Fast, effective, and chest-clutchingly entertaining.
  7. kick to f@@k out of him all the time he will soon learn not to god off.
  8. failing that.........
    naked rollmat fighting works for RM
  9. If you live in a high rise why not do what E*** C****** did, and push the annoying little fecker out the window !!
  10. Hey MOD!!!!!!! Ain't that remark "LIBEL" ???????????
  11. Is Dogfaces_Dad also known as Philip? If so, his son ought to be surrounded by small arms.
  12. Is it libel if it is true?

  13. Is this Dogface your son, Dogfaces_Dad? The description seems to match and he seems to needs wasting.
  14. Tell your local bobbies that you think he might be in the process of organising a terrorist attack somewhere as he seems to be armed to the teeth with allsorts of weapons.Then sit back and wait for the response usually around 03.00 am in the morning if my memory is correct.When they are carting him oot tell him to stay away as he is a menace to society and to you.
  15. Unfortunately yes, that Dogface is my son. I'm really sorry, please don't think badly of me. :cry: