How to deal with gender changing colleagues?

#21
I have a serious question (though God only knows why I feel the urge to ask it). What about the real chicks. I am assuming that the transvestite (for that is what (s)he is until the sex change takes place) will be using the female facilities. What about the feelings of the chicks who have to share said facilities with what is to all intents and purposes a man. Do these women have no rights? Why should they be made to feel ill at ease.
 
G

Goku

Guest
#22
Legs said:
Or for a sensible reply (this isn't the NAAFI Bar)...

Treat HER as you would treat all other women. Don't be afraid to mention the subject, but take the level of banter from her. She will soon let you know where the invisible line is.

She will be feeling nervous as hell. The best thing you can do is act normal. Even (if this doesn't dent your machismo) make her a coffee.

Do try hard to remember to use the correct pronouns (She, her etc). That is one of the hardest things for you to do, and one of the most embarrassing things for her to correct you on. On e-mails/letters/notices etc use her correct new name. Invite her with you on group drinks and meals. Don't let her feel sidelined.

She knows people are talking about her. She knows that many of you will be laughing. Don't do it in front of her. She also just wants to get on with the rest of her life. Treat her with respect and maintain her dignity is all that is required.
He is not a her or a she :roll:
 
#23
Closet_Jibber said:
If you got on with him before hand. Then you are a two faced cnut and a coward if you treat "Him" any differently now because he's wearing womens clothes and shaving his legs.

However if he wasn't your flavour of the month before he decided he wanted to buy a frock, why go out of your way to make an effort to accomodate him. Just keep ignoring and or avoiding him as you would any other person you didn't like.

What I'm saying is don't make a special effort for anyone. As equal oppurtunities is about not treating someone "less" favourably because of who they are. So if you start making brews and sucking up to Miss Brian Smith then you are sh1tting all over the rest of your colleagues and technically commiting a discipline offence unless you start making them brews and sucking up to them for wearing clothes that suit their sex!

:D
Absolutely... ffs with all the real problems in life, the work place, society in general, why does something as trival as someone else sorting there personal life out seemly bother so many who wouldnt pass the time of day with them otherwise... :roll:
 
#24
Dog-faced-soldier said:
I have a serious question (though God only knows why I feel the urge to ask it). What about the real chicks. I am assuming that the transvestite (for that is what (s)he is until the sex change takes place) will be using the female facilities. What about the feelings of the chicks who have to share said facilities with what is to all intents and purposes a man. Do these women have no rights? Why should they be made to feel ill at ease.
Because the Lefties Say so. Don't like it... Move!

I know, shocking aint it. However thats how it works. On the other hand the now (In his own head) woman would fume at the idea of standing up to p1ss.

Its a tricky one and I'd hate to be the boss if a complaint came accross my desk from a woman who said she felt she couldn't use the peshers any more!
 
#25
halo_jones said:
Closet_Jibber said:
If you got on with him before hand. Then you are a two faced cnut and a coward if you treat "Him" any differently now because he's wearing womens clothes and shaving his legs.

However if he wasn't your flavour of the month before he decided he wanted to buy a frock, why go out of your way to make an effort to accomodate him. Just keep ignoring and or avoiding him as you would any other person you didn't like.

What I'm saying is don't make a special effort for anyone. As equal oppurtunities is about not treating someone "less" favourably because of who they are. So if you start making brews and sucking up to Miss Brian Smith then you are sh1tting all over the rest of your colleagues and technically commiting a discipline offence unless you start making them brews and sucking up to them for wearing clothes that suit their sex!

:D
Absolutely... ffs with all the real problems in life, the work place, society in general, why does something as trival as someone else sorting there personal life outseemly bother so many who wouldnt pass the time of day with them otherwise... :roll:
Very true,

A mate of mine decided not so long back that he was going to start playing hide the sausage with other men. He said the worst thing about it all wasn't those that he thought were his mates who just vanished but the bosses and colleagues in work who now fanny about over his every need, assume he will want to go to out of hours social events with the bosses and that he will want to be the offices gay, lesbian, transgender, alien, robot, race relations co-ordinator.

Me personally I had no time for those who were his mates who now ignore him but hey ho. As you say, lifes to busy, especially at work to be worrying about who's sh&gging who or who wears a skirt!
 
G

Goku

Guest
#26
I had to share a few classes with one of these gender benders when I was at uni.

He occasionally used to bring his 3 year old son into lectures, said child would always refer to him as “mummy” 8O
I kept my distance after he declared that his female hormone treatment was making his cock stink of fish :puker:
 
#27
Goku said:
I had to share a few classes with one of these gender benders when I was at uni.

He occasionally used to bring his 3 year old son into lectures, said child would always refer to him as “mummy” 8O
I kept my distance after he declared that his female hormone treatment was making his cock stink of fish :puker:
surely you mean 'her cock'....
 
#28
How do these people do there job? I shall explain, if some of these soldiers are from a teeth arm, will they be excused certain tasks or events. I understand the armed forces is equal etc, but surely this is not only a grey area but a potential mine field

So Derek, who on previous occasions could carry the gpmg and 1,000 link on a TAB now is Derika? Who believes doing the same activity less lady like or some blx thing like that.

So do you help them, let them get on with it or what, which sort of leaves you damned if you do and damned if you dont
 
#29
I got a packet of cheese & onion crisps once.
Said cheese & onion on the packet but when I opened it up it was salt & vinegar. Looked the same but tasted completely different.
So are they cheese & onion just because the packet said so or are they salt & vinegar because of what was inside?

A packet of crisps is, by comparison to the human species, a fairly simple thing to create, yet, those pillocks at Walkers managed to get it wrong.

Occasionally humans get packaged wrong and inside is different to what is plainly seen on the outside.

We are able to correct some of these errors these days and for those concerned I am sure that it is seen as putting things the way they should have been.

I believe we should support the people who have to go through this process and behave in a modern civilised manner.

Paul.
 
#30
The_Rattler said:
How do these people do there job? I shall explain, if some of these soldiers are from a teeth arm, will they be excused certain tasks or events. I understand the armed forces is equal etc, but surely this is not only a grey area but a potential mine field

So Derek, who on previous occasions could carry the gpmg and 1,000 link on a TAB now is Derika? Who believes doing the same activity less lady like or some blx thing like that.

So do you help them, let them get on with it or what, which sort of leaves you damned if you do and damned if you dont
Suely Derek would no longer be in teeth arms as "women" are not allowed to be in such units unless attatched corps types. In which case they're more likely to be carrying a plaster/spanner/pen than a GPMG and 1000 link!
 
#31
I believe that ******* is the only way to overcome the problem. I would suggest it over a brew at the 1st opportunity ;)
 
#32
the_butler said:
I got a packet of cheese & onion crisps once.
Said cheese & onion on the packet but when I opened it up it was salt & vinegar. Looked the same but tasted completely different.
So are they cheese & onion just because the packet said so or are they salt & vinegar because of what was inside?

A packet of crisps is, by comparison to the human species, a fairly simple thing to create, yet, those pillocks at Walkers managed to get it wrong.

Occasionally humans get packaged wrong and inside is different to what is plainly seen on the outside.

We are able to correct some of these errors these days and for those concerned I am sure that it is seen as putting things the way they should have been.

I believe we should support the people who have to go through this process and behave in a modern civilised manner.

Paul.
Good point, well put.

I went to Uni with a guy, who was a fudge nudger and wanted to be Norwegian.

He went there, pulled a Norgie bloke, got 'married' and after a few years got a Norwegian passport and spoke the language like a native.

He succeeded in his aim.

His Norwegian passport still says 'Place of Birth - Hartlepool' though.
 
#33
the_butler said:
I got a packet of cheese & onion crisps once.
Said cheese & onion on the packet but when I opened it up it was salt & vinegar. Looked the same but tasted completely different.
So are they cheese & onion just because the packet said so or are they salt & vinegar because of what was inside?

A packet of crisps is, by comparison to the human species, a fairly simple thing to create, yet, those pillocks at Walkers managed to get it wrong.

Occasionally humans get packaged wrong and inside is different to what is plainly seen on the outside.

We are able to correct some of these errors these days and for those concerned I am sure that it is seen as putting things the way they should have been.

I believe we should support the people who have to go through this process and behave in a modern civilised manner.

Paul.
You trying to get Legs' number are you? :wink:

Surely your same "Packet of crisps" argument could be used the other way around. Just because Mike Golden wears a maroon beret it doesn't make him a para.

No matter what you do to the exterior of your body said transformee will still always be what they were "Physically born as".

I believe that its all this making a big deal out of it and a softy lefty approach that causes the mine field that people fear to enter. If people just got on with their own business and let others do whatever they wanted (Both the Transgender and the colleagues) then no fuss would be made. However because Derek now wants to be called Davina that gets the backs up of those who think Derek will always be Derek no matter what he does to himself.

As stated before if a female colleague complained that Derek shouldn't be allowed in the womens bogs who is in the right???
 
#34
Alsacien said:
Just got an all staff email from the big boss staying that a bloke we work with will be coming into work next week as a woman.
Apparently the guy has had body hair removed by laser and has started hormone treatment, we only noticed that he had let his hair grow longer. According to the email "he/she/it in transition" now has to live as a woman for a year before getting the green light to have his danglies lopped off.
We have been made aware of all the laws that apparently apply to this situation - none of which seem to cover my strong urge to take the p1ss and laugh hysterically while thinking about the Life of Brian scene Loretta/Stan and foetus gestation in boxes...in fact if I even suggest that he makes his nuts into a souvenir key fob I will end up in serious kak.

Any ideas :?
Just treat the person with respect, like any other lady in your place of work
 
#35
It may well say on a birth certificate,"MALE" or "FEMALE", but you dont believe everything you read in the papers do you?. Give this person a break, he or she as she will become, is a human being, so treat him like one.

I notice that quite a few posters on here are "back door invaders", and yet you critisise a guy who has enough of a problem being born with the wrong kit, so when he is going to right that wrong, you mock the poor sod, Personally I think he,s got more guts than some here by confronting natures lousy deal and attempting to redress the imbalance.

Get real, life is to short, look to your own imperfections, we,ve all got them.
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#36
Dog-faced-soldier said:
I have a serious question (though God only knows why I feel the urge to ask it). What about the real chicks. I am assuming that the transvestite (for that is what (s)he is until the sex change takes place) will be using the female facilities. What about the feelings of the chicks who have to share said facilities with what is to all intents and purposes a man. Do these women have no rights? Why should they be made to feel ill at ease.
None of the women where I work have any problems with it, and why would they? It's not as if she is doing the business in front of them is it? The ladies toilets are individual cubicals and so you are in private anyway.

We do chat a lot in there though....
 
#37
Legs said:
Dog-faced-soldier said:
I have a serious question (though God only knows why I feel the urge to ask it). What about the real chicks. I am assuming that the transvestite (for that is what (s)he is until the sex change takes place) will be using the female facilities. What about the feelings of the chicks who have to share said facilities with what is to all intents and purposes a man. Do these women have no rights? Why should they be made to feel ill at ease.
None of the women where I work have any problems with it, and why would they? It's not as if she is doing the business in front of them is it? The ladies toilets are individual cubicals and so you are in private anyway.

We do chat a lot in there though....
The one in our place uses the disabled toilets which also contain a shower. Saves lots of those type of problems that may arise from the use of communal showers.

Have now put forward this policy as best practice and hoping to get a minor award for it.
 
#38
Goku said:
I had to share a few classes with one of these gender benders when I was at uni.

He occasionally used to bring his 3 year old son into lectures, said child would always refer to him as “mummy” 8O
I kept my distance after he declared that his female hormone treatment was making his cock stink of fish :puker:
At leats she could say ''suck mummy's c0ck'' with confidence though eh :D
 
#39
been there done that went on a course last last year came back two weeks later went fora brew in mates office to find a girl at his desk my words were where is m?? ans im here looked a bit closer and it was him my words were is this a whaaaaaaaaa or whot good joke ans no im changing gender i was gobsmacked a friday drinkng buddy for years not a clue had i now he is a she the full monty shall we say All I can say is just be normal the head shed will be keeping a close eye on how people treat the trans gender type person I took the piss at a works lash up like you do at these things and it almost cost me my job,boss did not give a toss that the chap/bird was a mate ish and that he/she was taking the piss as well even when he/she saw my boss and said that he/she saw the funny side and was in on the laugh, trust me I have had to watch my P&Qs ever since.
 
#40
Dog-faced-soldier said:
I have a serious question (though God only knows why I feel the urge to ask it). What about the real chicks. I am assuming that the transvestite (for that is what (s)he is until the sex change takes place) will be using the female facilities. What about the feelings of the chicks who have to share said facilities with what is to all intents and purposes a man. Do these women have no rights? Why should they be made to feel ill at ease.
We recently had a TA girl working at my place who was in the process of changing gender and funnily enough this was the main concern of all the blokes I work with.
None of us girls, however, could of cared less, the guys just seemed desperate to find something to take offence with. As previously stated we have cublicles so its all private anyway, but you get all sorts of girlies in the RLC anyway from (born into) mega butch and masculine to girly, girly girls.
You just get on with it.
 

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