How to Deal with an NCO

[Mrsheeny]

Just seeing what the general consensus is.

There's a JNCO/NCO at my unit, in the reserves, he talks like he's Ant Middleton but comes across like Ross Kemp in Extras, all a bit cringey.

He isn't ex-regs but leads people to think he is, always throws his rank around and pulls weaker members to one side to try and intimidate and belittle them.

Recently we have crossed words. I play the game and give respect but how do I get the message across that I'll rip both arms off and hit him with the soggy ends if he thinks he can talk to me like a piece of shit? Without him pulling rank or me getting into trouble or having to change units or leave as a result of me giving him both unfiltered barrells? Or is it I've got to bend over and take it?

Looking for advice as I've got two speeds, stopped and 100mph and I'm trying to be more tactful and not go in guns blazing. If it were me 2 years ago I'd have thrown my kit in, offered him outside and give him a load of abuse but now I'm trying to think a bit more and not take things personally. Advice from the old heads is the order of the day.

 

[tiger stacker]

Just seeing what the general consensus is.

There's a JNCO/NCO at my unit, in the reserves, he talks like he's Ant Middleton but comes across like Ross Kemp in Extras, all a bit cringey.

He isn't ex-regs but leads people to think he is, always throws his rank around and pulls weaker members to one side to try and intimidate and belittle them.

Recently we have crossed words. I play the game and give respect but how do I get the message across that I'll rip both arms off and hit him with the soggy ends if he thinks he can talk to me like a piece of shit? Without him pulling rank or me getting into trouble or having to change units or leave as a result of me giving him both unfiltered barrells? Or is have I got to bend over and take it?

Looking for advice as I've got two speeds, stopped and 100mph and I'm trying to be more tactful and not go in guns blazing. If it were me 2 years ago I'd have thrown my kit in, offered him outside and give him a load of abuse but now I'm trying to think a bit more and not take things personally.

A discrete picture or video of you banging his wife mits donkeys punches should subdue him

 

[Mrsheeny]

A discrete picture or video of you banging his wife mits donkeys punches should subdue him

I dont have a camera with quick enough shutterspeed to photograph me shagging unfortunately.

 

[bob_the_bomb]

Just seeing what the general consensus is.

There's a JNCO/NCO at my unit, in the reserves, he talks like he's Ant Middleton but comes across like Ross Kemp in Extras, all a bit cringey.

He isn't ex-regs but leads people to think he is, always throws his rank around and pulls weaker members to one side to try and intimidate and belittle them.

Recently we have crossed words. I play the game and give respect but how do I get the message across that I'll rip both arms off and hit him with the soggy ends if he thinks he can talk to me like a piece of shit? Without him pulling rank or me getting into trouble or having to change units or leave as a result of me giving him both unfiltered barrells? Or is it I've got to bend over and take it?

Looking for advice as I've got two speeds, stopped and 100mph and I'm trying to be more tactful and not go in guns blazing. If it were me 2 years ago I'd have thrown my kit in, offered him outside and give him a load of abuse but now I'm trying to think a bit more and not take things personally. Advice from the old heads is the order of the day.

Is he senior to you?

 

[Retired bloke]

Find out where he drinks....do i have to spell out the rest.............................

 

[Mrsheeny]

Is he senior to you?

Yes. I know what you're going to say, but does seniority give you licience to be a cock end? Especially in the reserves where people can chin it off at a moments notice?

 

[Just_plain_you]

Yes. I know what you're going to say, but does seniority give you licience to be a cock end? Especially in the reserves where people can chin it off at a moments notice?

Have you tried raising it discretely with his SNCO?

 

[Mrsheeny]

Have you tried raising it discretely with his SNCO?

I wanted to raise it with him, going above peoples heads doesn't work, I always find its better to deal with the person 1 to 1.

 

[Effendi]

Yes. I know what you're going to say, but does seniority give you licience to be a cock end? Especially in the reserves where people can chin it off at a moments notice?

No right to be a bellend regardless of rank. Is your admin officer a bloke you can have a quiet word with to point him at people who have been on the receiving end of the plonkers attentions.

 

[MuddyOldEngineer]

I wanted to raise it with him, going above peoples heads doesn't work, I always find its better to deal with the person 1 to 1.

Are you both in the same platoon / troop ?

 

[Just_plain_you]

I wanted to raise it with him, going above peoples heads doesn't work, I always find its better to deal with the person 1 to 1.

In that case you're probably going to lose.

I'd be asking his Sgt for some advice on dealing with 'difficult people' and dropping in " I'm having trouble with the attitude of LCpl X...."

If he's such a massive bellend others will have noticed

 

[Effendi]

I wanted to raise it with him, going above peoples heads doesn't work, I always find its better to deal with the person 1 to 1.

1 to 1 can spiral down very quickly and end up where you don't want it to be. You always need at least a 3rd party present to say who threw the first metaphorical punch.

 

[rgjbloke]

Just be at the top of your game all the time and through that demonstrate to him that you are the better soldier.

He can’t pick you up for being good at what you do and if he does try to, that can be pointed out to people if they haven’t already noticed.

 

[Mrsheeny]

No right to be a bellend regardless of rank. Is your admin officer a bloke you can have a quiet word with to point him at people who have been on the receiving end of the plonkers attentions.

I've witnessed him pull people to one side on parade night and have a nasty word in their ears, for menial things, these blokes have families, mortgages and that and probably don't need the hassle. I've noticed the blokes didn't come back for a long time after the word in the ear, 1 bloke has since quit but can't say that was the reason he left.

I don't want to go telling tales because I've no faith that would work. If this was 1970's regulars I could understand his attitude, but I've met regular and reserve NCOs over the past 2 years with all of them having more experience under their belts and operational tours and they've all been great even when they've been bollocking me or whichever group I was with, but this guy seems to have got his training from bad lads army.

Would it be worth having a chat with the PSIs?

 

[RangdoOfArg]

I wanted to raise it with him, going above peoples heads doesn't work, I always find its better to deal with the person 1 to 1.

Yes, but...
Me and Mrs R were discussing this today (Not your case but one of her’s)
Get it out in the open.

 

[Mrsheeny]

Just be at the top of your game all the time and through that demonstrate to him that you are the better soldier.

He can’t pick you up for being good at what you do and if he does try to, that can be pointed out to people if they haven’t already noticed.

Always am. Always on time, clean, pressed with all the right kit and I'm fit. That's why it suprised me when he tried being a cock.

 

[putteesinmyhands]

Have you told Uncle Arthur that Jonesy is picking on you?

1st IA - raise it with the Corporal. He might have picked up his habits from someone else and not realise that he's overstepping the mark (if, indeed, he is).

2nd IA - raise it with the next up in the C of C. You'll need evidence and witnesses who won't back down.

3rd IA - look for somewhere else that better suits you.

 

[Mrsheeny]

In that case you're probably going to lose.

I'd be asking his Sgt for some advice on dealing with 'difficult people' and dropping in " I'm having trouble with the attitude of LCpl X...."

If he's such a massive bellend others will have noticed

I have noticed/heard comments from the PSIs about him swinging his metaphorical dick around, so I don't think it's just me.

 

[Effendi]

I've witnessed him pull people to one side on parade night and have a nasty word in their ears, for menial things, these blokes have families, mortgages and that and probably don't need the hassle. I've noticed the blokes didn't come back for a long time after the word in the ear, 1 bloke has since quit but can't say that was the reason he left.

I don't want to go telling tales because I've no faith that would work. If this was 1970's regulars I could understand his attitude, but I've met regular and reserve NCOs over the past 2 years with all of them having more experience under their belts and operational tours and they've all been great even when they've been bollocking me or whichever group I was with, but this guy seems to have got his training from bad lads army.

Would it be worth having a chat with the PSIs?

Admin officer, or PSI. You know the personalities, you do not want to land yourself in it as people naturally tend to point at the person making the complaint to show they are only doing what they are doing because so and so complained.

 

[Tyk]

I wanted to raise it with him, going above peoples heads doesn't work, I always find its better to deal with the person 1 to 1.

I have had to referee/mediate or clear up the wreckage of more than a few of these in the project world and it's very easy for it to get out of control rapidly.
From my perspective as a manager it's far, far better if it's brought to me in advance so a friendly word or a careful eye can be kept on the situation.
I'm sensitive to the fact you're reluctant to be seen by him or others to have gone over his head, but in the case of someone acting all superior and being a donkey cock it's really your best option, especially if his behaviour is apparent to other folks.

I've had plenty of serving folks working for me and it's not unknown for some jumped up arrse to put other people's backs up I deal with it the same as I would with suppliers and civ staff.