How to clean a toilet......

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Goatman, Jul 13, 2011.

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  1. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    How to clean a toilet...





    This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you.


    1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

    2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.


    3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

    4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

    5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash and rinse'.

    6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

    7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

    8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

    9. Both the commode and the cat will now be sparkling clean.

    [​IMG]





    Sincerely,






    The Dog

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Old testament I believe.
     
  3. Empirical testing would suggest you're right, as I discovered after using our Long-haired Persian as a handy substitute for a paint roller.
     
  4. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    Probably....sent to me by some bird called Jezabel...I should have KNOWN !

    Where's your latest effort then ?
     
  5. Cats? I've shat 'em.


    Which accounts for the sparkling state of all my aborts!
     
  6. Incidentally, that is not the method they want to see demonstrated on the NVQ Level 1 Buildings Maintenance practical...picky some people!
     
  7. A newlywed couple on their honeymoon gets to the hotel room.

    When they start to have sex, the wife says that she has something to confess.
    The husband says, "I will love you no matter what it is, tell me."

    So the wife tells him that she is actually extremely flat chested.

    The husband says, "I can deal with that."

    He takes off her shirt and shouts, "Boy! you are small, but I love you nyway."

    The husband says, "I have something to confess also."

    She says, "No matter what I will still love you."

    He says, "Okay.I am built like a baby down there."

    She says, "I can deal with that."

    So he pulls down his pants and his wife passes out! He fans her and she finally gets up.
    She says, "I thought you said you were built like a baby?"

    He says, "Yeah....7lbs, 21inches."
     
  8. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    yawn.....Hengist Pod told me that one - shortly before he invented this thing called a 'Whool'....I bedded his missus Senna in revenge...
    [​IMG]

    ( altogether now; " Infamy,Infamy ! - They've all got it in for me ! " )
     
  9. 100 year old man standing by the bar
    i said ado fred, what you doing here with all that beer ?
    he said,, you know what i used to be a long time ago?
    i said yes you where a boil sucker.
    he said yes i was ,,well a young girl came to me today,
    and she had a boil tween exit and entrance.
    the only way i could get to it was to put my nose up her aarse.
    i started to suck,
    i got the crust off.
    then i got the green out,
    then the blood,
    then the yellow,
    i was just getting to the core.
    and she farted.

    i swollowed the lot..

    you know the next time you have a soft boiled egg ? well think of this joke next time you dip your soldiers into it :d