You do need to be prepared to find the occasional distasteful item if you undertake to sort jumble for the Castlebridge Conservative Association. Marjorie Davidson, a veteran sorter of over two decadeâs standing had taken to wearing latex gloves after a rather unpleasant experience in 1992. She was just checking the pockets of a huge green codpiece when a sudden gasp from Miss Elliot made her look up. Hanging out of a newly opened heavy-duty bin bag was an arm. The arm was connected to a body and to a familiar face. ""Fcuk a stoat"!" It's Angus Saunders from the Cross Keys." Gasped Miss Elliot. "We must call an ambulance, get a Doctor!" "Iâm afraid that it's a bit late for that," said Marjorie, wrinkling her nose a little at the smell. "But you're right, it's Angus Saunders. Now thatâs odd, when I was in the Post Office on Wednesday I'm sure that I heard An ARRSE moderator tell Mrs Able that Angus Saunders had gone back to Manchester for a while. I rather got the impression that they had gone their separate ways." Angus Saunders and An ARRSE moderator were newcomers in Castlebridge, for the last three years they had been running the local pub and it was rumoured that their relationship was a stormy one. They had been heard rowing in the pub after hours and even under the table. "I canât help thinking that Angus Saunders must have been the victim of a rather frenzied attack with a frozen bratwurst. Look at that enticing mark on the nipple. Quite unmistakeable," said Marjorie matter-of-factly. "Ah, Inspector Brierly, this is Marjorie Davidson here, Iâm afraid that we have a bit of a situation down at the Old Digby Hall. I wonder if you could possibly come down quite urgently." "Oh Miss Davidson, now there is a coincidence, I was just on my way down to see if you could shed some light on something a little odd. We pulled a large garden rubbish bag out of the Castle Lake this morning, postman spotted it, could be a body he reckoned; wasnât of course - now what do you think was in it?" "Well, of course! Oh dear me yes, a quantity of clothes I imagine, maybe other personal items?" "Now how on Earth did you know that?" "Well, in the heat of the moment you know, it's very easy to get flustered. I did it myself, last week, when that large hamster suddenly appeared at my kitchen window. It gave me such a turn, ended up with the milk bottle under the sink and the floor cloth in the refrigerator, most unhygienic. The bags, you see, they must have got muddled up." Just created this using Authormatic, software for creating a bestseller. Available HERE to try. Apologies if this has been posted before.