Some simple rules for supporting Bush et al.. 1] Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton 2] Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and VietNam is vital to a spirit of international harmony. 3] The United States should get out of the United Nations, although the highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iran. 4] A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation. 5] The best way to improve military morale is to praise troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and soldiers' combat pay. 6] If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex. 7] a good way to combat terorism is to belittle long-time allies, then demand their co-operation and money. 8] providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMO's and Insurance companies have the berst interests of the public at heart. 9] Global warming and tobacco's links to cancer are junk science, creationism, however, should be taught in schools. 10] a president lying about extramarital affairs is an impeachable offence, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defence policy. 11] Government should be limited to the powers named in the constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the internet. 12] Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are a conservative radio host, then it is an illness and you should pray for his recovery 13] What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980's is irrrlevant. 14] hunters who shoot friends should be supported and the friends blamed for wearing orange vests similar in colour to those worn by quail. okay, so they aren't all gems of wit.. anyone got a similar list for how to be a Democrat??