How to avoid speeding fines

Discussion in 'Cars, Bikes 'n AFVs' started by vampireuk, Aug 20, 2008.

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  1. OK

    If you are pulled over by the fuzz for a speeding offense try this.

    Police say;
    any thing you say sir will be taken down and used as evidence in court against you.

    you say;
    ouch, ouch.......stop hitting me, I'll say anything you want.

    In court the officer will have to repeat this by law.


  2. Bollox,wah or cnut,take your pick.
  3. Bugger me somebody has their knickers in a twist.
  4. as much as i would love for this to be true it just seems a bit bollocks but ah well made me giggle
  5. Ah yes, that was a classic sketch on 'Alas Smith and Jones' way back in the eighties.
  6. However the officer will also have to write what he said...

    "Stop Struggling... Put it Down... SPRAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!"

  7. Edited to apologise as I thought this was the naafi,however wouldn't this be best suited in come and have a go if you think your'e funny enough?
  8. Pr1ck,t0sser,silly little boy.Take your pick
  9. If some twonk makes a reply like that to being summonsed, I normally record the answer vebatim and note that it appeared to be humorous comment.

    Normally repeating that in court with my best deadpan face works a treat for making 'em look like a cnut :)
  10. No no no.

    This works a treat:

    "His reply to caution was; Go on then... I'll take you to the cleaners. You and I both know that magistrates are thick as fcuk and will believe anything I say."

  11. Alternately, "Do what you like rozzer, the Mag's will never give me a custodial...." Oh hang on, that's true, they wouldn't....
  12. Read the back of the ticket and accept the course. £95 fine and no endorsemnet.
  13. At the very least the judge will be a closet S&M dogger, be rather turned by this dialogue, ask where you, he and the police officer could meet for a three-way bum fest in the back seat of his Jag on the outskirts of Epping Forest.
  14. Everyones a winner then.