How to avoid speeding fines

#1
OK

If you are pulled over by the fuzz for a speeding offense try this.

Police say;
any thing you say sir will be taken down and used as evidence in court against you.

you say;
ouch, ouch.......stop hitting me, I'll say anything you want.

In court the officer will have to repeat this by law.

:D
 
#2
vampireuk said:
OK

If you are pulled over by the fuzz for a speeding offense try this.

Police say;
any thing you say sir will be taken down and used as evidence in court against you.

you say;
ouch, ouch.......stop hitting me, I'll say anything you want.

In court the officer will have to repeat this by law.

:D

Bollox,wah or cnut,take your pick.
 
#3
Bugger me somebody has their knickers in a twist.
 
#5
Ah yes, that was a classic sketch on 'Alas Smith and Jones' way back in the eighties.
 
#6
However the officer will also have to write what he said...

"Stop Struggling... Put it Down... SPRAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!"

:D
 
#9
If some twonk makes a reply like that to being summonsed, I normally record the answer vebatim and note that it appeared to be humorous comment.

Normally repeating that in court with my best deadpan face works a treat for making 'em look like a cnut :)
 
#10
Speedkuff said:
If some twonk makes a reply like that to being summonsed, I normally record the answer vebatim and note that it appeared to be humorous comment.

Normally repeating that in court with my best deadpan face works a treat for making 'em look like a cnut :)
No no no.

This works a treat:

"His reply to caution was; Go on then... I'll take you to the cleaners. You and I both know that magistrates are thick as fcuk and will believe anything I say."

:twisted:
 
#11
Alternately, "Do what you like rozzer, the Mag's will never give me a custodial...." Oh hang on, that's true, they wouldn't....
 
#13
vampireuk said:
OK

If you are pulled over by the fuzz for a speeding offense try this.

Police say;
any thing you say sir will be taken down and used as evidence in court against you.

you say;
ouch, ouch.......stop hitting me, I'll say anything you want.

In court the officer will have to repeat this by law.


:D
At the very least the judge will be a closet S&M dogger, be rather turned by this dialogue, ask where you, he and the police officer could meet for a three-way bum fest in the back seat of his Jag on the outskirts of Epping Forest.
 
#14
Everyones a winner then.
 

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