How the Old Bill really works

Discussion in 'The Book Club' started by Bugsy, Aug 13, 2008.

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  1. Now and again you read a book that radically challenges your accepted views of certain things. I remember reading "The Right of the Line" by John Terraine and having to extensively readjust my thinking with regard to the vital role of the Crabs in WWII.

    The same sort of thing happened to me when I read "Wasting Police Time" by PC David Copperfield (not his real moniker) and "On-call Girl" by WPC E.E. Bloggs (again a "nom de plume"). Both books give amazing insights into what the Old Bill actually do, and also all the administrative hoops they have to jump through that effectively remove them from the streets. In one case, Copperfield mentions that he only managed to patrol for 45 minutes in an 8-hour shift.

    This is Copperfield's blog and also contains details of both books.

    What I found amazing, particularly in Copperfield's book, is the quite astonishing dedication they show and the steady determination to actually help folks, in spite of all the fückin' around they get.

    While it's a sort of a serious subject, both authors manage to inject masses of humour into their books.

    Highly recommended, as long as you don't mind having to rearrange your prejudices.

  2. Read the both and can confirm that they are exactly how the job is.

  3. I read Copperfield's books; if I ever had any interest in joining The Job, his books killed it stone dead.

    A searing indictment of Zanu-Labour's Britain. :pissedoff:
  4. Same here. Have thought of being a copper too but this book killed it as well. Conversations I have had with serving plod just backed it up as well.
  5. You lot need to 'embrace diversity'. Have a look at Thames Valley's website. It states clearly that you must be prepared to do so or don't bother applying for a job with them.

    Diversity. Embrace it! Embrace it...NOW!
  6. Ok I'll embrace it if I can go on to shag it as well......

    I had a guru in the equality field call me and fifty others a bunch of racists when he knew f*** all about us, and we then had to write an assessment.

    I did a really serious piece of work ripping the living shite out of his arguments, big bibliography, loads of references, other people handed in a single sheet of paper from somebody testifying that they were right on. They passed, I got called in..........."This wasn't what we were looking for, I'm very concerned....."

    I said, "There's what you are supposed to be doing, there's the criteria for the assessment and (the killer remark) I'm conscious of what others have done and passed. If you like I'll begin the appeal process right now....."

    His arse instantly knitted buttons..........."I'll just pass this right now".

    I resisted the temptation to say, "I think you'd f'kin better"

  7. Thanks for the heads-up; I'll look out for that one. :)

    Did'nt some tw@t of a Gub'mint minister try to rubbish IG's books a while back? Made himself and his party look a right bunch of Mongs! :twisted:

    Reminded me of the stories about Hitler in his Bunker, sending non-existent SS regiments into battle...

    "Crime is down...we are tough on crime and tough on the causes of's the Media's've never had it so good etc..." :roll:
  8. It was that feckwit, the Police minister, Tony Mcnumpty who stated in parliment during a debate on policing that David Copperfields book (IG's forthcoming one is his 1st) "A greater work of fiction than Dickens".

    Just proves what he knows about the realities of the mordern police "service". It just makes me laugh, the monkeys looking down the trees scenario is alive and well.
  9. Just finished "Horse's Arse". Very funny, quite believable. Have to see if the library has "Foxtrot Oscar".
  10. Perhaps you shouldn't have assaulted your mate in the first place.

  11. seconded, gadget knows his stuff.
  12. shouldn't have accepted the caution - doubt theyd have charged you with no victim.

    besides, unless specifically asked to do so, you dont have to reveal a caution to employers as it's not a conviction, and a caution won't necessarily bar you from joining the police.
  13. Diversity training's great isnt it, I had a colleague told he was racist, he isnsisted he wasnt, the trainer said 'Im telling you now youre a racist! You should consider whether this job is for you!'

    The chap he was acuusing was a 10 year service PC who was married to a Jamaican woman.

    Crock of sh1t.
  14. If you ever get sick of it, mate, just claim you're Gay and transfer to MI5! :lol: