How the Old Bill really works

#1
Now and again you read a book that radically challenges your accepted views of certain things. I remember reading "The Right of the Line" by John Terraine and having to extensively readjust my thinking with regard to the vital role of the Crabs in WWII.

The same sort of thing happened to me when I read "Wasting Police Time" by PC David Copperfield (not his real moniker) and "On-call Girl" by WPC E.E. Bloggs (again a "nom de plume"). Both books give amazing insights into what the Old Bill actually do, and also all the administrative hoops they have to jump through that effectively remove them from the streets. In one case, Copperfield mentions that he only managed to patrol for 45 minutes in an 8-hour shift.

This is Copperfield's blog and also contains details of both books.

http://coppersblog.blogspot.com/

What I found amazing, particularly in Copperfield's book, is the quite astonishing dedication they show and the steady determination to actually help folks, in spite of all the fückin' around they get.

While it's a sort of a serious subject, both authors manage to inject masses of humour into their books.

Highly recommended, as long as you don't mind having to rearrange your prejudices.

MsG
 
#3
I read Copperfield's books; if I ever had any interest in joining The Job, his books killed it stone dead.

A searing indictment of Zanu-Labour's Britain. :pissedoff:
 
#4
Same here. Have thought of being a copper too but this book killed it as well. Conversations I have had with serving plod just backed it up as well.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#5
You lot need to 'embrace diversity'. Have a look at Thames Valley's website. It states clearly that you must be prepared to do so or don't bother applying for a job with them.

Diversity. Embrace it! Embrace it...NOW!
 
#6
#7
Biscuits_AB said:
Diversity. Embrace it! Embrace it...NOW!
Ok I'll embrace it if I can go on to shag it as well......

I had a guru in the equality field call me and fifty others a bunch of racists when he knew f*** all about us, and we then had to write an assessment.

I did a really serious piece of work ripping the living shite out of his arguments, big bibliography, loads of references, other people handed in a single sheet of paper from somebody testifying that they were right on. They passed, I got called in..........."This wasn't what we were looking for, I'm very concerned....."

I said, "There's what you are supposed to be doing, there's the criteria for the assessment and (the killer remark) I'm conscious of what others have done and passed. If you like I'll begin the appeal process right now....."

His arse instantly knitted buttons..........."I'll just pass this right now".

I resisted the temptation to say, "I think you'd f'kin better"

:twisted:
 
#8
The_Seagull said:
Biscuits_AB said:
You lot need to 'embrace diversity'.


Diversity. Embrace it! Embrace it...NOW!
Are you an diversity trainer? That was how they tried to "re-educate" me, but only with a large woman shouting it in my face and shouting "silence" everytime i asked a question.

This is now, by far, the best Plodblog

http://inspectorgadget.wordpress.com/

and his book is out on the 25th

http://www.mondaybooks.com/pervertingjustice/pervertingjustice.html
Thanks for the heads-up; I'll look out for that one. :)

Did'nt some tw@t of a Gub'mint minister try to rubbish IG's books a while back? Made himself and his party look a right bunch of Mongs! :twisted:

Reminded me of the stories about Hitler in his Bunker, sending non-existent SS regiments into battle...

"Crime is down...we are tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime...it's the Media's fault...you've never had it so good etc..." :roll:
 
#9
Werewolf said:
The_Seagull said:
Biscuits_AB said:
You lot need to 'embrace diversity'.


Diversity. Embrace it! Embrace it...NOW!
Are you an diversity trainer? That was how they tried to "re-educate" me, but only with a large woman shouting it in my face and shouting "silence" everytime i asked a question.

This is now, by far, the best Plodblog

http://inspectorgadget.wordpress.com/

and his book is out on the 25th

http://www.mondaybooks.com/pervertingjustice/pervertingjustice.html
Thanks for the heads-up; I'll look out for that one. :)

Did'nt some tw@t of a Gub'mint minister try to rubbish IG's books a while back? Made himself and his party look a right bunch of Mongs! :twisted:

Reminded me of the stories about Hitler in his Bunker, sending non-existent SS regiments into battle...

"Crime is down...we are tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime...it's the Media's fault...you've never had it so good etc..." :roll:
It was that feckwit, the Police minister, Tony Mcnumpty who stated in parliment during a debate on policing that David Copperfields book (IG's forthcoming one is his 1st) "A greater work of fiction than Dickens".

Just proves what he knows about the realities of the mordern police "service". It just makes me laugh, the monkeys looking down the trees scenario is alive and well.
 
#10
Just finished "Horse's Arse". Very funny, quite believable. Have to see if the library has "Foxtrot Oscar".
 
#12
The_Seagull said:
Biscuits_AB said:
You lot need to 'embrace diversity'.


Diversity. Embrace it! Embrace it...NOW!
Are you an diversity trainer? That was how they tried to "re-educate" me, but only with a large woman shouting it in my face and shouting "silence" everytime i asked a question.

This is now, by far, the best Plodblog

http://inspectorgadget.wordpress.com/

and his book is out on the 25th

http://www.mondaybooks.com/pervertingjustice/pervertingjustice.html

seconded, gadget knows his stuff.
 
#13
tommyhutch said:
Would never join the police today

Can't anyway because a couple years ago I got an assault caution from some tw@t PC trying to meet his statistical targets, "It doesn't matter if your mate's dropped the charges, you've come to the police station so I have to nick you". Yeah, way to ruin my employment prospects for the next 5 years just to credit yourself with another "detection".
shouldn't have accepted the caution - doubt theyd have charged you with no victim.

besides, unless specifically asked to do so, you dont have to reveal a caution to employers as it's not a conviction, and a caution won't necessarily bar you from joining the police.
 
#14
gobbyidiot said:
Biscuits_AB said:
Diversity. Embrace it! Embrace it...NOW!
Ok I'll embrace it if I can go on to shag it as well......

I had a guru in the equality field call me and fifty others a bunch of racists when he knew f*** all about us, and we then had to write an assessment.

I did a really serious piece of work ripping the living shite out of his arguments, big bibliography, loads of references, other people handed in a single sheet of paper from somebody testifying that they were right on. They passed, I got called in..........."This wasn't what we were looking for, I'm very concerned....."

I said, "There's what you are supposed to be doing, there's the criteria for the assessment and (the killer remark) I'm conscious of what others have done and passed. If you like I'll begin the appeal process right now....."

His arse instantly knitted buttons..........."I'll just pass this right now".

I resisted the temptation to say, "I think you'd f'kin better"

:twisted:
Diversity training's great isnt it, I had a colleague told he was racist, he isnsisted he wasnt, the trainer said 'Im telling you now youre a racist! You should consider whether this job is for you!'

The chap he was acuusing was a 10 year service PC who was married to a Jamaican woman.

Crock of sh1t.
 
#15
hogspawn said:
gobbyidiot said:
Biscuits_AB said:
Diversity. Embrace it! Embrace it...NOW!
Ok I'll embrace it if I can go on to shag it as well......

I had a guru in the equality field call me and fifty others a bunch of racists when he knew f*** all about us, and we then had to write an assessment.

I did a really serious piece of work ripping the living shite out of his arguments, big bibliography, loads of references, other people handed in a single sheet of paper from somebody testifying that they were right on. They passed, I got called in..........."This wasn't what we were looking for, I'm very concerned....."

I said, "There's what you are supposed to be doing, there's the criteria for the assessment and (the killer remark) I'm conscious of what others have done and passed. If you like I'll begin the appeal process right now....."

His arse instantly knitted buttons..........."I'll just pass this right now".

I resisted the temptation to say, "I think you'd f'kin better"

:twisted:
Diversity training's great isnt it, I had a colleague told he was racist, he isnsisted he wasnt, the trainer said 'Im telling you now youre a racist! You should consider whether this job is for you!'

The chap he was acuusing was a 10 year service PC who was married to a Jamaican woman.

Crock of sh1t.
If you ever get sick of it, mate, just claim you're Gay and transfer to MI5! :lol:
 
#16
hogspawn said:
gobbyidiot said:
Biscuits_AB said:
Diversity. Embrace it! Embrace it...NOW!
Ok I'll embrace it if I can go on to shag it as well......

I had a guru in the equality field call me and fifty others a bunch of racists when he knew f*** all about us, and we then had to write an assessment.

I did a really serious piece of work ripping the living shite out of his arguments, big bibliography, loads of references, other people handed in a single sheet of paper from somebody testifying that they were right on. They passed, I got called in..........."This wasn't what we were looking for, I'm very concerned....."

I said, "There's what you are supposed to be doing, there's the criteria for the assessment and (the killer remark) I'm conscious of what others have done and passed. If you like I'll begin the appeal process right now....."

His arse instantly knitted buttons..........."I'll just pass this right now".

I resisted the temptation to say, "I think you'd f'kin better"

:twisted:
Diversity training's great isnt it, I had a colleague told he was racist, he isnsisted he wasnt, the trainer said 'Im telling you now youre a racist! You should consider whether this job is for you!'

The chap he was acuusing was a 10 year service PC who was married to a Jamaican woman.

Crock of sh1t.

Very similar experience when I first joined. (Not not 10 minutes ago, atleast an hour and a half :D ).

We got "Invited" (FORCED TO ATTEND) to a Equalities/Diversity Seminar. The Fat mong taking the mornings chat rested on one particular individual who was quite vocal and decide to target him for the "You are a Homophobe" due to the nature of the conversation.

Imagine the look of horror on the face of the Diversity gimp when said homophobe mentions his "Life Partner" Kevin who he had lived with for atleast 3 years and had probably been bumming for longer.

Que a quick 10 minute refs break which lasted an hour!
 
#17
tommyhutch said:
Would never join the police today

Can't anyway because a couple years ago I got an assault caution from some tw@t PC trying to meet his statistical targets, "It doesn't matter if your mate's dropped the charges, you've come to the police station so I have to nick you". Yeah, way to ruin my employment prospects for the next 5 years just to credit yourself with another "detection".
So why did you sign the caution then, you should have said "OK lets take it to court", no victim no case, BTW if what you are saying is true I think you can get a caution expunged.

Trotsky
 
#18
I had my collar felt a fair few times for WWI (Walking While Irish) by the Brit Old Bill when I visited the country in the 80s and 90s, in spite of having served in the British Army, so it take a real tug to convince me that the lads and lassies are what's what. But the books by Copperfield and Bloggs (with the additional blogs that are also available on t'internet now) really did the job for me.

I've already secured myself a copy of Inspector Gadget's book when it's published by Monday Books. What I can't quite understand is why all the Brit politicians don't get a grip and let the Brit Old Bill really do what they're supposed to do, i.e. shank around and protect the public. I've developed a gradual and grudging admiration for their devotion to duty, in spite of everything appearing to be aimed against them with the amount of administration work and "target meeting" they have to do.

It's just a shame that the Old Bill out on the beat, who actually want to be there and actually want to do the job they envisaged, are so sadly held back by their politically motivated superiors and the fückin' stupid, selfish politicians they're forced to pander to.

MsG
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#19
The_Seagull said:
Biscuits_AB said:
You lot need to 'embrace diversity'.


Diversity. Embrace it! Embrace it...NOW!
Are you an diversity trainer? That was how they tried to "re-educate" me, but only with a large woman shouting it in my face and shouting "silence" everytime i asked a question.

This is now, by far, the best Plodblog

http://inspectorgadget.wordpress.com/

and his book is out on the 25th

http://www.mondaybooks.com/pervertingjustice/pervertingjustice.html
Sorry, I'm white, male, wrong age and hetero so I can't be employed in HR. You have to be a n***er.
 
#20
write the Home Secretary and tell her mate, but as they say the public get the police they deserve, and as a former squaddie, youre probably pragmatic and practical

Ive come to the conclusion that on principal, the rights of an individual outweigh the rights of a victim to have justice served
 

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