How the hell did we control half the planet

old_fat_and_hairy

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#2
Listen, as a resident of that fine city, and a user of the river, I can tell you it is no joke! Don't you know a swan can break your arm, sink the boat, turn into an evil wizard or a beautiful goddess? One just can't be too careful. Where are the Polish pikey's when they are needed?
 
#3
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Listen, as a resident of that fine city, and a user of the river, I can tell you it is no joke! Don't you know a swan can break your arm, sink the boat, turn into an evil wizard or a beautiful goddess? One just can't be too careful. Where are the Polish pikey's when they are needed?
Too busy nicking/eating/procreating with our Canada Geese and Carp!
 

Auld-Yin

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#4
Well done the swan.

If some cnut wandered through your house then you would be pretty p issed off as well.

Join the Save the Swan Party.

edit to add - Just a point of note re the thread title, when we did rule half the world and the globe had a distinct dark pink colour, there was no Labour Party in control. Nothing to do with the subject matter, but hey ho :twisted:
 
#5
Prof Perrins said the options include relocating the swan or clipping the feathers on one wing to discourage aggressive behaviour by throwing it off balance when it attacks.
Maybe we should use that tactic for those ASBO 'Badge Of Honour' Chavs. Just lop off their nuts. Won't be so macho then will they? :twisted:
 
#6
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Listen, as a resident of that fine city, and a user of the river, I can tell you it is no joke! Don't you know a swan can break your arm, sink the boat, turn into an evil wizard or a beautiful goddess? One just can't be too careful. Where are the Polish pikey's when they are needed?
lets be honest, has any one ever met anyone that has had there arm broken by a swan ????????????
 

old_fat_and_hairy

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#7
exnorthener said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Listen, as a resident of that fine city, and a user of the river, I can tell you it is no joke! Don't you know a swan can break your arm, sink the boat, turn into an evil wizard or a beautiful goddess? One just can't be too careful. Where are the Polish pikey's when they are needed?
lets be honest, has any one ever met anyone that has had there arm broken by a swan ????????????
I've never met anyone who came back from the dead, but that doesn't discourage 300 million from believeing it.
 
#8
old_fat_and_hairy said:
exnorthener said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Listen, as a resident of that fine city, and a user of the river, I can tell you it is no joke! Don't you know a swan can break your arm, sink the boat, turn into an evil wizard or a beautiful goddess? One just can't be too careful. Where are the Polish pikey's when they are needed?
lets be honest, has any one ever met anyone that has had there arm broken by a swan ????????????
I've never met anyone who came back from the dead, but that doesn't discourage 300 million from believeing it.
good point!!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

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#9
And, they can certainly turn into a beatiful goddess. Especially after the CAMRA festival.
 
#11
BrokenArrow said:
Prof Perrins said the options include relocating the swan or clipping the feathers on one wing to discourage aggressive behaviour by throwing it off balance when it attacks.
Maybe we should use that tactic for those ASBO 'Badge Of Honour' Chavs. Just lop off their nuts. Won't be so macho then will they? :twisted:
What a bloody good idea! I was going to vote for the Icelandic Volcano Party which has done more to curb immigration in the last 6 days than the government has in 13 years, but you Sir, are sounding pretty good........ :lol:
 
T

trowel

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#12
I saw a young lad getting severly pecked round the face neck and arms, could easily have lost an eye. We were doing some kayaking on lake Windermere on an Outward Bound course in the mid 60`s. the boy in the lead kayak was attacked by a swan. Luckily for him there was a motor boat with a few instructors following us. One of the instructors, a big bloke with a beard, used a boathook to teach the swan the error of its ways. Always give swans a wide berth, they can be nasty sods.
 
#15
IIRC opponents, traitors, and transgressors didn't have "rights" unless you mean the "right" to experience corporal and/or capital punishments.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

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#16
pacestick said:
let the unwashed hippy (C)unts get pecked - he was there first. It's nature learn to live with it. w@nkers...
I resent that remark. I do wash. And, was on the river long before the swan, unless it is in the autumn of it's life.
 
#17
What's wrong with the story? You may read it as people being wishy-washy, but personally I read it as showing due deference to Her Most Britannic Majesty and her prerogative re swans.

Would you rather people just went around deciding off their own bat to kill a Royal beast and that she could therefore suck their plums? You damned Republican, you!
 
#18
I will see this empire fall one swan at a time.
 

ancienturion

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#20
Punch said:
Mr_Deputy said:
I'm a swan and I think it's about time you showed us some fucking respect!
One of the "gay" swans of Abbotsbury perhaps?
That's just about what I expect to read here. There's an imperial swan doing his very best to control what's left of our glorious empire and immediately someone has to bring homosexuality into it.
I wish I had never heard of equality and diversity.
 

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