How socially correct are YOU?


A firm handshake is adequate - no need for backslaps or playful punches - especially if accompanied with the word "Tiger".
And to avoid a faux pas at the DIY store, never ask for help. When approached, refuse. Then, three minutes later, ask for help, starting with the word "actually".
"We're dealing exclusively with real problems for real men,"
I don't the name of the magazine but thought some of this might help the more socially inadequate of you :D,,30100-13058870,00.html
The refined etiquette of the British gentleman is what sets us apart from all those unsavoury foreigners, especially the Americans (too loud, bizarre clothes and too much touching), and the French (filthy scum whichever way you look at it).

I was once accused (by a shop-girl in the States), of being 'foreign'. I quickly cleared the matter up by pointing out to her that as I was British it was she who was the foreigner. Damned cheek...
I, as one who works with are aformentioned cousins from across the pond, agree with you whole heartedly. They are very loud, will talk over you or anyone else, always think that they are in the right and that history started the day Columbus got lost.

I love reminding them that they are all rebels and deserve nothing better than to be treated as such.

Roll on July 4th so I can put on my red coat and strut around their picnics.
Many people discovered America- it was only Columbus who had the bad manners to mention it. Bit like the RAF eh Viro?
I don't recall the RAF ever claiming to have discovered America. :lol:

Alas, it is true that some members of the RAF have less than perfect manners. Having lived in both Army and RAF messes, I have to say that the Army seem to have the edge, though the RLC and Sigs do tend to drag the standards down. Just moved to a fast jet unit, where the juvenile members of the two-winged master race are a bunch of tossers.

Good and bad in all 3 services in reality. It does seem that the standard of etiquette of YOs today is pretty poor; they seem incapable of the simplest things, like saying 'good morning', or introducing themselves.
The Americans all say good morning/afternoon to you. They all call you sir regardless of your rank (apart from a Col I work with, but he is as mad as fish) and they all have this inane smile as well. I think it gets issued to them.

It all really gets on your nerves after a while, it smacks a sense of falseness.
Tony Bliar is clearly spending too much time in the company of the shaved chimp, as he seems to have perfected the faux sincerity stuff.

When I worked with the Spams they had an 'employee of the month' style picture board in their HQ. Nauseous!
Oh how right you are, they still do, and one for the volunteer of the year (oh what is that saying...erm..oh yes, never volunteer for anything.)

vomit making stuff indeed.
Our afore mentioned cousins also give out a damn lot of certificates for doing your bloody job!

Whilst in Kosovo, they had a weely parade to issue them and I was also told they can "cash" them in to get points that help them get promoted!

God help us all! :roll:
Oh yes indeed, they can even get a gong for do their jobs well on exercise or even in camp!?

I have also done a few microsoft training courses with them and doing that earns you a credit to your next promotion.

I did ask them, as I am not a SPAM, if I could have cash in lieu of the credit, but they didn't think that I could.
(Dragging this back on topic!!)

I went on an all expenses paid Army course in social ettiquette called POD, at Worthy Down, before going to Sandbags.

We learned how to taste wine (neck it quickly - flirt with the female Brigadier); eat stilton (neck it quickly etc); which shirts were acceptable (no pockets); which trousers likewise (red moleskins=quick win); which old school ties were acceptable wear (any except Harrow); the correct way to introduce oneself ('Alright mate - I'm Dave - I fancy your missus somefink rotten!'); which cigarettes one should smoke (Marlboro Lights, natch!); which drinks were acceptable (gin, wine, port, lager, any beer, vodka etc etc - but not 'gimmick drinks' - I presume they meant 'water'); how to sign one's name in correspondence (illegibly); and a whole load more.

Any ex-PODs out there!? Wasn't it great!!??? :D :D
I attended the POD Course when it was held in Beaconsfield. A 3 month p*ss up which also included a 5 day trip to Bruges where we were given £100 to spend as we liked whilst enjoying trips of a cultural nature, I was most impressed with the local red light district, very cultured!!

Someone once told me it was known as the knife, fork and spoon course as it is used to educate soldiers prior to them attending RCB or Sandhurst.

One of the best courses I have even been on, we had a particularily friendly course Captain, she was quite friendly with a reasonable majority of the attendees over the three month course.

Yes, we did the Bruges trip as well. And we also had a friendly female Captain as well. She was always very vocal about 'integrity' and 'standards' until she'd had a beer, and then she pretty much sha**ed anyone. :D
gizzardtoo said:
Roll on July 4th so I can put on my red coat and strut around their picnics.
My dear fellow, why would you wish to spoil the celebration of a glorious victory by an enterprising band of recently retired British soldiers over a bunch of European mercenaries in the pay of a German king?

Sounds like an excuse for more port to me! :wink:

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