How sad was the contents of YOUR stocking..??

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Santa_Sunday, Dec 26, 2005.

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  1. Mine contained the following:

    Lee Evans DVD (live in Cardiff). Series 1 and 2 of Early Doors on DVD. Depeche Mode (The remixes) - Quality. No phucking giggling at the back. Ermmm..?? Boxers, Shower Gel(??)

    Has anyone got a sadder list than that...??

    No - didn't think so.............
  2. Nothing sad in mine....I'm only writing this because I'm guessing I got something you wouldn't have minded

    The whole back catalogue of Joy Division and New Order! (well, the ones I didn't have already)

    Now thats a present.
  3. The absolute pleasure of a toothbrush, razor blades, an orange and some walnuts. Awesome - apart from I'm allergic to nuts.
  4. I got a build-your-own crystal radio....some people never grow up!
  5. Hey SS Theres fcuking gratitude for you ! A lot of effort went into the logistics of that pile of materiel you rx'd. BTW I got the Ashes DVD to watch, some mint Matchmakers to scoff while laughing at the Aussies, and I bought some top shelf XXX scut from CDWOW. Ding Dong.
  6. Wife recieved from Parents a white hoody with cheeky (in pink) on the front, a monkey on the back with the words 'kiss my' printed on it's ass, the thing is designed to show peiced belly button.

    My wife is 40 well fit for her age but no chav (comes from middle class German family)

    Parents cannot understand why she disliked and was upset with their very thoughtful present .....

    Comments on how to return present with suitable insult would go down well as it spoilt our xmas day.

  7. If she's a boxhead, let her hand deliver it. Boxhead wives are usually very good at being cutting. Schoenes Urlaub!
  8. A Human leg. Not hairy so im looking for the owner
  9. Well, mine has enough DNA in it to impregnate a tribe of Amazons. :D

  10. Top, TOP Xmas Prsesies

    I Curtis - RIP
  11. I got a fruit tree planted in a village in Africa as a gift. (well that's what it said on the card I got)

    I'm guessing my fruit will be posted at a later date?
  12. Lynx smellies, 3 x white handkerchiefs, a pocket diary and a 2 x AA powered car hoover.

    Merry bliddy xmas
  13. six pairs of pussers socks
  14. Andy Mcnabs latest (forget the name, the one with the x rayed AK on the cover) which I wanted to hate but have read to page 35 so far and have found to be very good, Prodigy's greatest hits (tops, has had me driving like Nigel Mansell today), Churchills biography of his life after the war, an Xbox 360 Core set, Call Of Duty, bottle of GF, bottle of GL and a voucher for a 1 hour flight in a Tiger Moth.

    Not complaining, just wanted to make the people that had sh1t presents feel bad :)
  15. A battery operated nasal-hair remover. From its shape it could be mistaken fo a vibrator ------ aaaargh! --------------