How not to be found dead

#1
David Carradine has been found dead in a Thai motel room, apparently after an auto-asphyxiation sex game went wrong (very badly wrong, I would suggest, since he had a rope attached around both neck and penis. I think murder can be ruled out)

Since Michael Hutchence supposedly went the same way, this may be a showbiz-type favourite. It reminds me of some Hollwood actress (whose name escapes me) who decided to do 'erself in for some reason.

She had a very spicy last meal, took a huge dose of tranquillisers, arranged herself in a suitably 'artistic' pose on a couch, and awaited the inevitable.

Less-than-predictably, the spices reacted violently with the drugs, and she lurched from couch to bathroom whilst vomiting prodigiously, and collapsed headfirst down the crapper, where she was found next day (dead, and everything) 8O

Some Australian politician-perhaps a former PM whose name also escapes me-was also found mort in a hotel room, face down, and wearing a condom which police described to the media as 'loaded'

In what more humiliating circumstances could one be found post-mortem?

And where was Quentin Tarantino at the time? Nobody asks that, do they?
 
#2
David Carradine has been found dead in a Thai motel room, apparently after an auto-asphyxiation sex game went wrong (very badly wrong, I would suggest, since he had a rope attached around both neck and penis. I think murder can be ruled out)
First of all, condolences to the family. David Carradine was a talented actor.

Maybe I haven't seen enough of this bad old world yet but for the life of me I cannot figure out what kind of sex game Carradine would have been playing with a rope tied around his big head and little head. :? Must be a specialty of the Bangkok escort service? :?

At least it would have been convenient for the first responders to tidy up the scene. One guy could have lifted his body up using the rope that was tied around his neck and dick while the other attendant could have slid the body bag underneath. Once it's in the right place the guy with the rope in his hand can let go and his partner can zip it up. :wink: :lol: If rigor mortis had already set in, all the better - that would have been a memorable boner. :lol: :lol:
 
#5
Years ago in FHM or loaded there was a photo of a spaniard who had expired literally in the act of choking the chicken. Searching for the image on google isn't a good idea when I'm in the office but I do recall from the caption that he'd apparently been leaning against a cliff and shagging the chicken and in the process a lump of rock fell from the cliff side and killed him and the chicken...

Poor family - here is Manuel in his last moments with his trousers round his ankles and his cock up a chicken's ass... :D His mother must have been so proud of her little boy!

lancslad
 
#6
#7
Latest updates from Bangkok police:-

it was unclear whether the 72-year-old killed himself or died from heart failure due to ejaculation.
Bloody hell! I didn't know that could happen.


Under these circumstances we cannot be sure that he committed suicide but he may have died from masturbation.
A legend is born.
 
#8
Ancient_Mariner said:
Under these circumstances we cannot be sure that he committed suicide but he may have died from masturbation.
Fcuk me, I've literally put my lfe on the line over 30000 times! Well, if you include a particularly boring Balkans tour, more like 31000 times.
 
#9
FiveAlpha said:
Ancient_Mariner said:
Under these circumstances we cannot be sure that he committed suicide but he may have died from masturbation.
Fcuk me, I've literally put my lfe on the line over 30000 times! Well, if you include a particularly boring Balkans tour, more like 31000 times.
My hero :D
 
#12
milsum said:
FiveAlpha said:
Fcuk me, I've literally put my lfe on the line over 30000 times! Well, if you include a particularly boring Balkans tour, more like 31000 times.
Wanker.
Typical British Soldier. Braving death every day.
I salute you sir. :salut:
 
#14
Does this mean they might re-examine the teenage suicides in Bridgend, & discover they were all just wanking off in the woods?
 
#15
FiveAlpha said:
Ancient_Mariner said:
Under these circumstances we cannot be sure that he committed suicide but he may have died from masturbation.
Fcuk me, I've literally put my lfe on the line over 30000 times! Well, if you include a particularly boring Balkans tour, more like 31000 times.
31000 eh? Even at only 1 a day that makes you 85 years old, if you started when you were 0...
 
#17
captaincalamity said:
FiveAlpha said:
Ancient_Mariner said:
Under these circumstances we cannot be sure that he committed suicide but he may have died from masturbation.
Fcuk me, I've literally put my lfe on the line over 30000 times! Well, if you include a particularly boring Balkans tour, more like 31000 times.
31000 eh? Even at only 1 a day that makes you 85 years old, if you started when you were 0...
One wank a day is for beginners and people who've never experienced slipstream. I'm waging your tatty water is no stranger to the pages of Gratton or the gusset of your mother's apple gatherer's.

Edited to insert the word 'wank', as without it, the post loses context.
 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#18
Under these circumstances we cannot be sure that he committed suicide but he may have died from masturbation.

I know it is an oft used phrase, but could this actually be the first official case of someone wanking themselves to death?
 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#19
Forensic expert Porntip Rojanasunan said the death appeared to have been caused by an "auto-erotic accident".

"It's not suicide or murder but he died ... after masturbation," he said.

Porntip - you must be joking :D
 
#20
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[align=center]Grasshopper. Did I ever tell you how I went blind?[/align]
 

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