How much does Arrse cost the economy?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aunty Stella, Oct 28, 2005.

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  1. I'm just wondering how much Arrse costs the economy to run?

    This morning I have done the square root of fcuk all work. Instead I have had my secretary looking at me rather strangley whilst I randomly spit tea at my now rather damp monitor and laugh to myself like a mong thats accidentaly sat on a vibrating chair.

    I have totally ignored one major quote, put off two important phone calls and have so far neglected to plan anything for next week, all so that I can read about litigious (allegedly) pervs, Para wannabes, chavs without any form of language skills and MDN's thinly veiled attempts to backscuttle me.

    Multiply that by the 76 users that are currently on line and I reckon the CO's are costing this once great nation a fcuking fortune. I intend to send my invoice to Arrse House forthwith.
  2. I think we need to get DPA to create a new IPT - Time Wasters using Arrse To Surf? (Check the initials!)

    Then us ex-military types can raise invoices against MOD.
  3. I use the excuse that arrse is in fact a research tool that keeps me up to date with the world at large.

    It has nothing at all to do with the fact that it is the only way I can swear without it getting bounced by the firewall and me ending up on a fizzer!

    But if I didn’t have arse, then how n how can I maintain the image of diligently taping away on the keyboard working.

    Arrse is pivotal to the economy!
  4. Thing is, this is a vitally important part of the Army. Without it, people wouldn't be able to find out information they require in a timely manner (imagine having to try and find the answer to a question by follwing the correct chain of command...!). Perusing arrse should be a required part of military life. I don't know why they bother putting a forum on ArmyNet - they should have just linked to this one! There, saving the Army money already!
  5. Well. Let's examine this is a reasonably (pseudo) scientific manner.

    Let's assume that the average ARRSEr earns £70 a day.

    ARRSE has been a going concern since early 2002, but let's say - for the purposes of this study, that it started 3 and a half years ago, or 40 months.

    If we extrapolate those figures out ( clearly, I mean 'stretch'), we can see that 70 (pounds a day) x 30 (average month) x 40 (length of time ARRSE has been online), we can see that we arrive at a sum not unadjacent to £84000.

    Clearly, we don't spend all day every day on here (well, most don't), so even if we say that the average user does 12 hours of reading, posting, lurking, chatting etc, we can demonstrate that each ARRSEr has cost the taxpayer (or equivalent) approximately £42000 so far; or about £12000 a year.

    Therefore, the total sum of money that has been frittered away by ARRSErs comes to about 11500 (number of ARRSErs) x 12000 = £138 million.

    Good work, people! :D
  6. I feel you there brother, when i asked the OC about his opinions on Sleziod Sex with Mongs and the Art of Hoop Hammering I don’t think my questions were given the appropriate attention.
  7. Mmmm, imagining you feeling me has left me wishing this wasn't an open plan office...
  8. I've lost count of the number of full days I've lost thanks to this site.

    Moreso in the past but this past couple of days has seen an increase in NAAFI quality and a decrease in my production...

    I bleated like fcuk about the state of the NAAFI, seems I've yet to appreciate my earnings are more when its w@nk and therefore stay away.
  9. I have a job but don't really do any work, I'm stuck on ARRSE most days, If its not ARRSE then its searching for quality porn/MP3/wares on our works, yes works un- mointerd, un-restricted internet (Apparently its for Ftp downloads!) When real work needs doing (Eeek!) Its rushed, falsified and covered in 2 shades of bullsh1t.

    edit typo, and been a nub :)
  10. Good point Aunty, but its a two way street. I work on a consultancy basis, and as is customary in my line of work, I charge an exorbitant rate for some fairly mediocre advice. 8)
    The point is, that I work exclusively for foreign concerns, so every hour I spend on here baiting trolls or giggling like a six year old at the latest thread on rimming et al, sees the UK economy benefit to the tune of approximately, £50.00 :D

  11. Sounds like the ideal job. Are there any vacancies!
  12. You're Gordon Brown and I claim my five pounds
  13. I take it you mean "Yonnerland" otherwise known as saddelworth???

    As for jobs, no its my job and non of you buggers are having it!
  14. Don't forget hte number of Keyboards and monitors ruinned by sprayed Tea.

    We could start our own properly equiped malita for that...sort of like THEM only with more potty jokes.

    I could just see MDN and Flushy interogating some poor schmuck who got captured...