How much do you love your monkey?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by 8256Mick, May 6, 2012.

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  1. Would you?

    "Zhang Bangsheng, a very dedicated Chinese zoo keeper, had to lick a constipated money's bottom for over an hour after the three-month-old Francois Leaf monkey swallowed a peanut whole. The monkey showed signs of stomach problems and was unable to defecate. It was too young to be given laxatives so the only way to encourage it was by licking its behind (Zhang used warm water to clean the area before he began). His efforts were rewarded an hour later when the monkey defecated a single peanut."

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  2. ...I hear he's also a part-time civil servant with aspirations to enter politics!
  3. Licking a monkeys arse would be a welcome change for the better in the CS today.
  4. Mmmmm! Tagnuts!
    I wonder if the monkey will be smearing peanut butter on it's bollocks anytime soon?
  5. Did he eat the peanut afterwards? Did Cheetah at least spot him a cab fare home after getting a nice rim job?
  6. Why couldn't he just tickle it's arse with a moist feather. Works for me.
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  7. You just know that the monkey will swallow another peanut, first chance he gets.....
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  8. He'll walk up to the zookeeper with a packet of peanuts and a $50 note.
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  9. Sometimes I think they're seriously trying to usurp Japan's role as the home of gold-standard bonkerooni-ness.
  10. What a load of bollocks.

    This guy has blatantly just been caught giving a monkey a ring dhobi and when asked what the fuck he was doing made up some bollocks about the poor little monkey being constipated.
    I mean, how did this guy know that licking a monkeys hoop would encourage it to have a crap.
    Fucking creepy pervert.
    I saw a documentary once....yes just the once....that said in the event of a worldwide catastrophic event the chinese and there very looky likey asian muckers would rise as the dominant race on the planet....due mostly to the fact that these cunts will eat fucking anything, even, it turns out, a baby monkeys arse hole.
  11. Certainly is a strange world we live in. How the fuck did someone figure out licking a monkeys arse for an hour would make it do a shit?
  12. Well my ex Mrs found out the hard way, rimming me after a bout of food poisoning :)
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  13. I expect that would be one reason that she'S your ex...
  14. She left me for pissing in the kitchen sink!
    I guess I should have let her mother finish washing the dishes first.
  15. It's what all animal mothers do to their newborns.

    (Kirkz, thanks for that image :pukel:)