How Much Bullshitting is acceptable to get into a pair of knickers?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Hellmans, Jul 12, 2011.

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  1. A good friend of mine, who could be described as a MILF (very shaggable in fact) recently told me of this dashing ex Army Major that she had met.

    He told her he was ex Para regt having fought at Goose Green in 2Para, then was ex SAS and later AAC Helicopter Pilot.

    He also was MBE and MID and, having retired, was now an Apache Test Pilot for Westlands and had to go out to Afghanistan recently to show them how to do it.

    All seemed too good to be true until he always had an excuse why they couldn't meet, why he had to cancel last minute etc etc.

    Anyhow she asks me if I think he is legit.

    A quick check of the London Gazette shows he was indeed MID with the AAC but no sign of the MBE.

    An even quicker check with Arse's own AAC Encyclopedic minds confirmed he wasn't 2 Para, wasn't SAS (but had flown for them) and had a reutation for being a walking bullshitometer!

    Not an Apache test pilot, or even an Apache anything while in the mob and now does a bit of classroom work for Westlands.

    So, the big Q

    Is it acceptable to bullshit/Walt to get your end away and, if so, are there any respectable limits?

    I mean to say, just being a helo pilot and MID should be enough to help taste the nectar of most MILF peaches surely?

    So, what do you reackon? Or what's the biggest porky you've told in pursuit of a shag?
  2. Did he get into her knickers?
  3. NO - he failed dismally
  4. I promise I wont cum in your mouth - thats an acceptable porky
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  5. Walting without rooting makes him a premature embellisher.
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  6. Oh yeah, just reread the bit where he always makes excuses not to meet. :slow:
  7. I used to tell women I was a translator for Alphabetti Spaghetti.
    My job was to ensure that all kids had a fair chance of spelling their names so, for instance, cans bound for Germany had to have more 'U's because there were more German names spelled with a U.
    I've used it about 5 times with complete success, the important thing is to keep a straight face and to sound plausible and sincere. Even if the woman knows you're bullshitting you get great marks for originality.
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  8. pasta walt !
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  9. I always followed the rule "whatever it takes" to get a girls knickers off.
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  10. No need to lie when you're as handsome, and gifted like me.
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  11. You're just jealous cos this guys shite nearly worked, and probably will, if he fights through. Admit it, you want to throw one up her yourself, and so are deliberately trying to scupper everybody elses' chances, so you can get her drunk and bend her over the sofa, 'as just friends'. Take your nuts out of your pocket and just ask her if she fancies a bit or doesn't she want to spoil the friendship by sleeping with you? Blah Blah, go with the drunk option, she'll get over it after a while, friendship intact, cos you just tell her she instigated and you thought thats what she wanted. (Draw the line at sexual assault though!!!!!!!!!NO MEANS NO)
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  12. You ugly fucker. We've all heard about your "Does this rag smell like chloroform?" method.
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  13. Unless you're this guy. rgjbloke, probably involves shovels and mini-mokes
  14. So who was the Smudge67er I met then?
  15. As much as it takes, I would have thought, some are easier than others or should that be drunker?