How Many Notches on your Bed Post?/Tally-whacker tally.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Jumping Jack, Jan 28, 2013.

?
  1. Less than Ten

    23 vote(s)
    18.4%
  2. About twenty

    27 vote(s)
    21.6%
  3. About thirty

    13 vote(s)
    10.4%
  4. About fourty

    12 vote(s)
    9.6%
  5. About fifty

    15 vote(s)
    12.0%
  6. About sixty

    3 vote(s)
    2.4%
  7. More than sixty

    19 vote(s)
    15.2%
  8. About a hundred

    13 vote(s)
    10.4%

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. What is your tackle-whacker tally then? Do you think it should be more/less? Are you bothered by the figure? Men and women and all sexes in-between are welcome to reply.

    None of you know me. Or actually many of you do.
    I'm fortunate enough to have had a fairly interesting life so-far and that has included a fair bit of, as they say in romance novels and love poems...banging birds. No lads, sorry Jarrod. No sheep, sorry Tropper.

    As I head towards the end of my thirties I am thinking more of settling down. Linked to this I recently decided to pluck up the courage to take a blood test and got the old chap tested for warts and other nasties...and happily came away from it with a clean bill of health. =-)

    As the two weeks you have to wait for the results ticked by, over Christmas, I did mull over what my odds were of having something nasty. Instead of counting sheep one night I went through what I can recall of my 'encounters', plus more memorable relationships, and counted my shags. I got to 45 although I reckon I may have forgotten one or two. I'm not really bothered by the figure.

    This doesn't include Aussie DJing or getting my old chap blown. Its exclusively a sausage in honey figure.

    I was asked by the clinic Doctor how many partners I thought I'd had. I answered 'umm quite a few' and he suggested that about 20 was quite high. I said 'umm yes about that.' It'd be interesting to see what the average is on arrse. Like I say I'm not bothered by my figure either way I just thought it was quite an interesting subject and Naafi-worthy.


    What is your tackle-whacker tally then? Do you think it should be more/less? Are you bothered by the figure?
     
  2. To be clear,you do mean doing it with a lady don't you?
     
    • Like Like x 6
  3. Are you counting hewers?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. yeah with a proper, like, lady or a girl, or woman. or whatever you want to confess having put your willy into.

    hooors are include-able yes. i don't see why not.
     
  5. So I make it that you've seen off Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters nine times?

    Wow!
     
  6. I know you are trying to insinuate something. If only I could properly read what you wrote. Damn these worn out eyes!
     
  7. RezzaDue

    RezzaDue Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    I always though it was Jill?
    Maybe im wrong

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using ARRSE mobile app
     
  8. Rather than how many you'd actually had?
     
  9. Their wording. Probably makes it easier to lie/tell the truth by not asking you a direct question. You get asked a massive amount of detailed questions in a clinic. Normally if a weedy asian bloke came and asked me if I'd ever had sex with animals I'd have chinned him for it. (I hadn't by the way. Well...stroking doesn't count apparently.)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Shagged 18 lasses, about 13 of them fit, the others howlers.
    Then there are quite a few others where it came close but didn't happen too, missed some golden opportunities over the years! The ones where you look back & realise you shouldn't have fallen asleep at that party when you were well in there, or when your pissed mate wouldn't fuck off home & leave you to it despite clanging hints.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. It may help you to feel better about yourself that it is quite common practice in the RN and doesn't 'count' (its often done as an aid to promotion.)
     
  12. I put so many notches in the bed post that the bloody leg fell off.
     
  13. Do cousins count?
     
    • Like Like x 3
  14. @ Kromeriz. Good!
     
  15. Some of mine struggle to get past ten. Eleven is quite tricky in 'Prestonian.'