How many does it take?

#1
I need some more kokes that start:

How many ........ does it take to change a lightbulb?

What do you call a man/woman with a ..... on their head?
 
#2
How many Pioneers does it take to change a lightbulb?

10

1 To change it and 9 to grumble about all the s**t jobs they get.
 
#3
What do you call...?

A man with a shovel in his head?
Doug
A man without a shovel in his head?
Douglas
A lady with a toothpick in her head?
Olive
A lady with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen
A Chinese lady with one leg longer than the other?
Irene
A lady with both legs the same length?
Nolene
An epileptic in a pile of leaves?
Russell
A man with a wooden head?
Edward
A man with three wooden heads?
Edward Woodward
A man with four wooden heads?
I don't know, but Edward Woodward would
A man with a rabbit up his bum?
Warren
A man with his legs chopped off at the knees?
Neil
A man who is being electrocuted?
Buzz
A man who sits at your front door?
Matt
A man who has his head stuck under your car?
Jack
A man who has no arms and legs who is nailed to the wall?
Art
The arms and legs of the above mentioned man?
Pieces of Art
A man with no arms and legs floating in the ocean?
Bob
A lady who is the stand-in for Polly in Fawlty Towers?
Polly - filler
A man with toilet paper in his mouth?
John
A man who has been buried for 2,000 years?
Pete
A dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him - he still won't come
A deer with no eyes?
No idea
A deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea
A deer with no eyes and no legs who is chewing a razor?
Still no bloody idea

Lightbulb jokes:
http://www.eyrie.org/~thad/strange/lightbulbs.html

msr
 

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