How many arrse members does it take....

predatorplus said:
And 1 ARRSE member to accuse said ARRSE member who started the thread of being a ‘walt’ and never changing a light bulb in his life… sparking off all the other ARRSE members into realising that he is indeed a light bulb changing walt…
And that my friend, is spot on. It would be perfect if you swop the first "Arrse member" to "Arrse members spouse/sister/bit of filth who's never served"

predatorplus said:
and 2 ARRSE members to change the subject of light bulbs to having sex with dead people
Oh yeah, anyone up for some graveyard camping tonight? :twisted:


War Hero
And 1 Arrse members spouse/sister/bit of filth who's never served to accuse said ARRSE member who started the thread of being a ‘walt’ and never changing a light bulb in his life… sparking off all the other ARRSE members into realising that he is indeed a light bulb changing walt…

Edited to add the cream to the cake suggested by Prea
Sure. We're going for the 1874 vintage tonight. Tomorrow night we'll go for the 2006, might still be soggy. I hear it has a lot more body than the '74.


And 1 Arrser to start a:

What’s this? Any light bulb spotters in? thread

Found this in Granddad’s attic. He was in the Angry Brigade, but could never calm down long enough to talk about it.

I’m wondering if it would actually give out any light and, if so, for how long?

Do we need an ARRSEr to say someone owes him a new keyboard/monitor because he has sprayed coffee/coke from laughing so hard????


War Hero
We need one particular ARRSEr to explain to us that only Warrant Officers in the US Army can change lightbulbs - due to their technical expertise - but should still get saluted as they are officers really and doesn't understand why no-one in the British Army salutes lightbulb changers...


Book Reviewer
Not to mention the Arrser who totally gets out of his pram because he's ACTUALLY been in a two way lightbulb-changing range, WITH HSE inspectors and was still able to 'flick the switch' at the end of it, despite the total under-resourcing in terms of small ladders/scaffolds, rubber gloves, HSE signage, method statements, permits to work, lightbulbs, lightbulb fittings, switches and indeed . . . wires.

All the while saying that everyone else (apart from his fellow 'Lightbulb Veterans' who are in the world's best lightbulb-fitting unit ever), because everyone else is a crap-incandescent.

And not to forget the 1 Arrser it takes to edit his post for cr'p spelling - twice!
One ARRSEr to ask what a lightbulb is, then 4 posts later says Wah!!!!
1x Andy Gregory GSM to pop over the radar and tell us that he used to take spare non-illuminating bulbs with him on oi oi black bag SF jobs, it was the parachute pilot's role to make sure they functioned effectively after lights out. I mean it, its in his book.

1x Civil serpant to quote JSP993 "Instructions for the manual removal and replacement of illuminating electricery bulbs from ceiling pendant appliances in Y scale SLA".

1x more to come up with the correct acronym.
We would need some young, outstanding member to comment on how funny the seniors light bulbs were and allege that lightbulbs can obly be changed using a ruler...
And someone to say that if you wear a Light bulb on your lower right arm then you are really wearing a parachute not a light bulb. But its called a light bulb anyway.
Guarenteed winner for the 'Names of Famous..' game we used to play with a bottle of Asbach. 'Names of famous lightbulb manufacturers beginning with O - Osram'

Over to you - or was it just a Gunner thing?
what? No ex-serving ' lightbulb changing regiment ' vet blasting us for being irreverent and not understanding the stress they were under when faced with leaking mercury-vapour lamps in stores or under battlefield conditions..

the toxic effect and the years of therapy and recovery they underwent to purge their system of the noxious fumes and how the government cut backs and disinterest in the welfare of serving personnel caused them to have crippling sexual disfunction that prevents them from even chatting up the worst mingers in the local to this day...

and don't get them started on sodium vapour or the effects of inhaling the ' noble gasses' argon-neon-krypton [ though the last did make them think they could fly and such ]
BaggyInBlack said: change a lightbulb? ;-)

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.
Well, it's been 6 months...can it possibly do the rounds again lol?
Quality thread, you owe me a new computer and half a cup of tea.

Not to forget, the arrser who will go to the lengths of making sure people aren't lightbulb walts.
Strange reading this thread as I was listening to a song called "Blinded by light".

What a coincindence. (Please correct my spelling on this, this should be able to be done as said before, ARRSERs also take prode in the English language and some also fancy themselves as English teachers)

If you too share a intrest in corny music see below.

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