How Long?

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by B_AND_T, May 17, 2008.

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  1. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Last weekend I found myself in the company of an extremely large bottle of vodka and copious amounts of red wine.

    Ever since I have been going to the toilet at least 4 times a day. Now this I wouldn't mind but there is no telling whats going to come out. In the morning it could be a normal turd or what feels like a rugby ball coming out or bum gravy.

    How long will it be before I can fart with confidence?
  2. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    As time progresses, so does the likelihood of you following through with bum gravy increase.

    The trick is, once it's happened a couple of times, go to the toilet if you feel a fart coming on.
  3. Alternatively don't, then you can furnish the NAAFI with regular tales about fizzy bum gravy making an appearance in your shreddies at inappropriate times. :)
  4. Try drinking Guinness. You’ll be on stodgy black ones and farting with confidence once again.
  5. do it all again.... its the weekend man up for gawds sake :D
  6. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Well that was the plan but this time with white wine, perhaps that will sort things out.
  7. How long? 9 1/2". Just out of curiosity, why d'you want to know?
  8. It's your own fault. Ani fule kno the only way to drink red wine is to mix it with Coke.
  9. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Go for a curry & a few Guiness afterwards.That'll sort the bum works out!