How gun magazine articles are written.

Discussion in 'Shooting, Hunting and Fishing' started by Bilbo-K, May 23, 2012.

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  1. This is an old one...but makes me laugh everytime I read it.

    Instruction From The Editor To The Journalist:
    Frangible Arms just bought a four page color ad in our next issue. They sent us their latest offering,
    the CQB MK-V Tactical Destroyer. I told Fred to take it out to the range to test. He’ll have the data for you tomorrow.

    Feedback From Technician Fred:
    The pistol is a crude copy of the World War II Japanese Nambu type 14 pistol, except it’s made from
    unfinished zinc castings. The grips are pressed cardboard. The barrel is unrifled pipe. There are file
    marks all over the gun, inside and out.
    Only 10 rounds of 8mm ammunition were supplied. Based on previous experience with a genuine Nambu,
    I set up a target two feet down range. I managed to cram four rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber.
    I taped the magazine in place, bolted the pistol into a machine rest, got behind a barricade, and pulled the
    trigger with 20 feet of 550 cord. I was unable to measure the trigger pull because my fish scale tops out at 32 pounds.
    On the third try, the pistol fired. From outline of the holes, I think the barrel, frame, magazine, trigger and recoil
    spring blew through the target. The remaining parts scattered over the landscape.
    I sent the machine rest back to the factory to see if they can fix it, and we need to
    replace the shooting bench for the nice people who own the range. I’ll be off for the rest of the day.
    My ears are still ringing. I need a drink.

    Article Produced By The Journalist:
    The CQB MK-V Tactical Destroyer is arguably the deadliest pistol in the world.
    Based on a combat proven military design, but constructed almost entirely of space age alloy,
    it features a remarkable barrel design engineered to produce a cone of fire, a feature much valued
    by Special Forces world wide. The Destroyer shows clear evidence of extensive hand fitting.
    The weapon disassembles rapidly without tools. At a reasonable combat distance,
    I put five holes in the target faster than I would have thought possible.
    This is the pistol to have if you want to end a gunfight at all costs. The gun is a keeper, and I
    find myself unable to send it back.
    • Like Like x 11
  2. There's a lot of truth in that little fable. He who pays the piper calls the tune.

    It reminds me of all the crap I read about the virtues of the Mini-14 before I actually bought one.
  3. Out of curiousity is the mini 14 any good? Prisons here use them a fair bit.
  4. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    Piece of shite for anything more serious than shooting tin cans.
  5. I'm shocked! Shocked, I tell you! How can you be so cynical?!
  6. The Mini 14 is cheap and cheerful. Mine digests any .223/5.56 ammo I feed it. Couldn't hit a barn door from inside the barn, or any other part of the barn for that matter. But it is reliable. I suppose for shooting prisoners at very short range it would be alright.
  7. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    The AC 556 was so good that the RUC managed to fire 9 rounds at my mate and only hit him once from 10 feet away!
    The UK shooting press is just as bad. When Bisley live flopped none of them would come clean on the true footfall of paying visitors. I emailed loads cancelling subscriptions pointing out that tthey had a duty in their news sections to be honest even if they were paid advertisers!
  8. Ugly was that down to the weapon or the nut behind the butt? I once had the dubious pleasure of coaching a member of the Germany Guard Service on the range using a Browning Hi Power, he had problems hitting a Fig 11 at 15 mtrs. That was definitely him and not the weapon.
  9. I pity the fool who gets himself saddled with a Mini-14.

    • Like Like x 1
  10. Afflicts many specialist and trade publications to the extent some become no better than advertorials and quite a bit of such nonsense creeps in to consumer publications in terms of cars, HiFi, etc.

    The conspiracy of silence around Bisley Live fiasco (and an expensive fiasco it was for many exhibitors) is craven and pathetic.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    craven and Pathetic, excellent, I shall use that when I next get the chance to whinge at that twat jacoby!
  12. Almost, ........almost. The fact that I get into the Shot Show press day and press lounge and the IWA press lounge should give you a bit of a clue. I help out a couple of professional journo's with a Defence Journal, they also contribute to a few gun and one military wannabe magazine. At the shows I cover their backs as they are non-native Inglish spikkers, chat up the booth babes, take photos a few of which have been published and pick up some freebies........many of which end up in the hands of fellow ARRSEr's. I have been asked to get involved in gun/defence journo'ing seriously but I have a real life and once or twice a year is fun for me especially when I see some of my pics in magazine's

    Yes. In the case of the many comic like magazines who need mass market advertisers the above description of how articles are produced in a S*n, St*r or D*ily Mirr*r like manner are true.

    No. Not all publications are dependent on the placing of ads by "Freds Tactical Supply", "R*ger" or Gunparts R Us. The journal end of the market has adverts placed by the top shelf manufacturers of tanks, battleships, electronic whizzy gear and munitions companies. Even so, the readership is still interested in what appears at the individual user end of the market so that also needs to be reported on.

    Addressing the matter of guns, the mini 14 for example, being shite after a good review. The lazy journo's can produce a years worth of articles by simply attending the Shot Show for a week and doing the rounds of the range days, parties and piss ups. Bear in mind that on the range the pistol/rifle is pressed into a journo's hand by a factory armourer/salesman and the thing is generally kept oiled and pampered all day. Added to which unless you take your own ammo along the company will generally let you have one mag full down the barrel ............ so the dim journo's opinion is based on one mag full down the barrell whilst discussing the prospect of a night out and a Vegas hooker giving him a paid for BJ.

    I can tell you that Surefire just lay out M4's with their silencers attached and don't bother to clean or service them till the end of the day, when they've probably had a couple of thousand rounds down them. Glock and Springfield are the same, guns on the table help your self and shoot and they don't bother to clean them till the end of the day and they just perform without a problem. I personally would not report or give a publishable opinion on a firearm without having stuck a few hundred rounds down it using a mix of ammo.

    Around and about shows in general wearing a press ID you tend to get leapt on by every stand who wants you to photo and write about their latest whizzy fizz product. My two professional journo muckers and myself (the bag carrier) all have a military background, they both still wear uniform at Company Commander and Div Commander level in their TA wheras I'm an old has been. However, my own attitude to someone sticking kit under my nose to get it promo'ed is to ask the question, "would I personally want to risk my life on this"? I know my mates ask themselves the same question and most times the answer is a resounding "no". I do however know a couple of journo's who take every piece of shite kit gizzit and freebie they can get their hands on, write a good'ish if neutral review and then sell the gear on ebay to make a few bob - but the upshot of that is that the wannabe brigade buy the stuff.

    To give an idea of how the journo's are schmiered by the manufacturers: About 3 years ago one manufacturer gave every journo attending an event a pistol - we are talking around 300 pistols. I know one journo who has 3, thats 3, aimpoints on "long term test" ........ for nearly three years now. One manufacturer invited me to Gunsite for a week all ex's paid....I could'nt go because I have a real life. I have been offered discounted silencers, discounted sample AI chassis's, discounted pouches, rucksacks and other gear. NONE OF WHICH I HAVE ACCEPTED. Call me stupid, but if I don't owe anyone anything they can't ask for anything - like I said most of the hats, t-shirts and patches I receive get passed on, mainly to fellow ARRSEr's. Sadly, hardware I cannot ship to the UK from here, its illegal.

    So, if anyone wants a HK, Sig, Glock, Eotech or AimPoint hat next year just shout - my rule is that you make a donation at least equivelent to the postage cost to H4H. Or, better yet, come to the Shot Show - you'll be amazed, honest.
  13. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    LHB gets a shot show invitation every year but we havent been able to go. Maybe next year but our trade is in the sporting dog area and I was told you need special passes to get into the nice shiny military toy section! Is that true?
  14. Nope, its a falshood, not true, a lie. I spend all my time loitering around the green gear halls.

    There are a few events around town organised by manufacturers and they require an invite. There is a Mil and Police range day on the monday - awesome - but that requires current official ID - no press allowed, because no photos wanted of who attends. The press range day is on the monday - awesome'ish. Crye/Multicam do a huge piss up party on the wednesday night which is manic. AAC silencers do a party - with pole dancing hookers. A couple of the large defence manufacturers hire a US military range and demo some of their small to medium size toys - grenade launchers - that one almost requires a dna sample and not many even know it happens. My mates at Zeiss do a "vewy, vewy, naice" hot buffet event - mates, because its meant to be for distributors only - probably the most civilised event of the week.

    For me I get so busy looking after my boxheads from the sunday night till the following friday afternoon its a blur.........but amazing. You should come.
  15. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Maybe next year

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