How Good Is This.......

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by beagleboy, Feb 7, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Right, being a 'glass half full kinda guy' I thought I'd bring some sunshine and happiness to a somewhat dreary forum.

    Got a couple of Stand-down days (Thursday & Friday), Missus is fucking off to Melbourne for Nephew's 5th Birthday, both daughters are off to Hawaii for 2 week hols, son is doing some gay AFL bonding moment camp. So as from Thursday night it's just me and the dog (named after Guy Gibson's dog, so I won't say his name or I'll be on ROP's longer than Jarrod) till Sunday night when the missus gets back. How fucking good is that? Three whole days where I can prance around naked, scratch my balls, pick my nose, fart, without getting yelled at.

    Soon as the missus fucks off I'm down to the bottle shop to buy a 40 pounder of Bundy, shitload of coke (beverage, not snorting type), grab some chips, then back home and just going to 'kick-back' for 3 glorious days sans any cunt. Got to finish off the 'Carry On' DVD collection, then onto DVD's like: Odd Angry Shot, Platoon, Kellys Heroes, Silent Enemy, Sea of Sand, Ice Cold In Alex, et al.

    So, after all this gloating my fine feathered friends, what is your 'How Good Is this' moment in life.
  2. Bet your missus is looking forward to changing the sheets.
  3. I'm hoping that I'm just some sad fuck who stayed on the couch for the whole 3 days, watching vids and drinking Bundy & Coke, ordering home delivered Pizza. Aaaaah, fucking bliss. So the bed will be still how she left it on Thursday morning - unmade.
    • Like Like x 2
  4. have you considered backpacking around Oz with a complete stranger? Perhaps whilst your missus is away you can invite him over to 'discuss the trip'
  5. Sans any cunt! I mighten even grace this illustrious forum for the said period. If some 'backpacker' wishes to ingratiate themselves with me then by all means let us take a drive to the Belangelo State Forest.
  6. Every time I feel the wheels hit the ground in either Houston or Albuquerque - means at least two weeks away from here.
  7. I'm going to drop down to the end of the garden and kick my Abbo gardener up the hoop for eating all my bees.

  8. Do you have to wait until your wife is away before you can do that?
    you big cuckoleded homo
    • Like Like x 2
  9. Love is in the air, everywhere I look around ......

    A criminal offence here in the UK. As I once drove across Sydney Harbour Bridge listening to a spoof of Elton John singing "Won't You Please Let Your Son Go Down on Me", I take it the law is more lax in your part of the world.
  10. Don't know if its illegal to name your dog N***** here in the west, although, I have been not so much accosted by some fucks when out running with said hound and I call him back, but looked at very angrily with a fair bit of head shaking and tsk tsking.

    Well I say fuck 'em, if its good enough for Guy Gibson it's good enough for me.
  11. thats a fair fookin point
  12. Fucking long drive with a dead backpacker in the boot. Surely there's somewhere decent in WA to bury someone?
  13. An abo gardener? I've never actually seen an abo working. They'd make piss poor slaves.
    They mostly sniff petrol and drink goon or monkey blood.
  14. Aaaaah where to start.

    So there I was going to move to London from the continent, plan A being Royal Engineers, Plan B work a boring office job just like on the continent but focus on weekend hobbies....
    Last day of work, Feb 29, same date as having to pass on the flat, in the meantime I have to finish off a painful project and somehow manage to sell all our shit and hand over the flat on the same day. Then... BAM!! Bycicle accident, multiple fracture to the collarbone, docs cut my shoulder open and put a nail in or something... off until feb 29!! Insurance covers all and sundry.

    So now I'm on holiday.... yeah I'm a bit fucked up but I can function, I now have all the time to sell all our gear and rehabilitate nicely (in fact, I will probably be running again next week the way things are going) and what's more, my misses got a fecking well payed job in London starting in 2 weeks time so I can focus on nest building and rehab/phys! and catch up with all my (working) mates for beers inbetween!

    This fracture has turned out to be a blessing in disguise! Fucking brilliant!!

    Although sleeping isn't... any position I lie in is either painful or plain uncomfortable, so there is a downside. Still! Being off for a month but not being able to lie down comfortably can be seen as a curse, I see it as an excuse to get shit done!

    What do you learn from this? When in doubt, break a bone!
  15. SDC12100.jpg not the best shot of my killer mutt !!!
    beagleboy- my dogs nickname is n****r too

    i always shout 'come on n****r' when she lags behind, and i've not the quietest of shout either !!!
    i say fuck em all, i'll call my dog whatever i want, she doesn't take offence