How frustrated can you be?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by dingerr, Jan 25, 2011.

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  1. As a result of loosing my balls in an explosion I now have regular testostorone injections, the problem is that I still get horny as fuck, the other problem is that other damage means I can't do the special manly thing about it and bang one out.

    Now that's frustrating. Is there possibly anything more frustrating for a man?
  2. Having short arms
  3. Being late.
  4. you could always try putting something up yer hoop! Love beads? Butt-plug?
  5. But there's a solution for that, someone else could do it for you, or you could use someones armpit or fold of flesh. You could do like a small terrier and rub yourself on a cusion.
  6. If you've still got your prostate, the hoop idea is your best bet. Perhaps you could get some gadget off the National Health, or we on ARRSE could have a whip-round and treat you to a remote controlled pulsating rectal intruder.

    With your skills you could wire the control to a cell phone so that well wishers could give you a ring in more ways than one.
  7. or a button on arrse to switch on the prostate massager up your'en
  8. Why not find a proper, long lasting cure?

    As you are already over the difficult bit, why not just get a quack to fold inside-out what's left of your cock, stop taking the hormone injections. Wearing a bra with a couple of satsumas down the front will complete the ensemble to full-on post-op trannie.

    This route has the advantage that you never have to waste 50% of your cash when buying trousers:as a skirt wearer you get full value for your dosh.
  9. You've not met The Fenian Bride have you dingerr?
  10. Trying to order a coffee in Starbucks?

    Look, I'm married. What is this thing you humans call 'sex'?
  11. I find the most frustrating time is late spring/early summer. Men start wearing shorts and want me to fuck them but they aren't aware of it.
  12. Get a hypnotist to get you under, tell you you have done the deed in a style of your own choosing and 3 2 1 you and back in the room at the point where you are ringing for a taxi.
    Failing that get married the urge soon goes..Well the ugre satays but...
  13. Ive a diploma in hypnotherapy I'm sure I can help.
  14. No good, I can't fire me muck the pipework's clean cut.

    Watching porn's better, I get to watch quite a bit rather than the normal 5 minutes at a time. I've got through my small hard drives worth though, so if some kind soul could send me some i'd really appreciate it. I'm very patriotic in the porn department, British is definitely best, but I can't be too fussy - please, no scat!

    Oh and Jarrod please don't send anything, I still have night terrors about the last.